The Breaking Point
by kloi21
Summary: Sometimes the most beautiful things can grow from the most broken of souls
1. Is This My Worid Or My Prison?

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

_***This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**_

_***This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**_

_***Revised 06/01/10**_

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**THE BREAKING POINT**

**CHAPTER 1 **

Kimberly Hart sat alone in her darkened apartment as the world outside continued to turn without her.

How long had she been sat here?

For how long had she been missing from life

More importantly, why hadn't anyone missed her yet?

The cream sofa beneath her was soft and warm and yet Kimberly just couldn't get comfortable as once again she stood up and paced across the cool wooden floorboards towards the small living room window.

Slowly, and with trembling fingers she separated the white blinds and glanced out into the world, which at 4am was still sleeping.

Realising her mistake, Kimberly snapped the blinds shut and once again turned her back on the outside world. This tiny apartment was her world now.

'_My world or my prison?'_ she thought bitterly as a familiar question once again filled her mind… How the hell had she ended up here anyways? How? When just over one year again her future had burned so bright

The thought rang so loud in her ears that she could have sworn that she'd spoken it.

One year ago Kimberly Anne Hart had everything any teenage girl could have wanted - why couldn't that have been enough? Why had she longed for what she didn't have? Why had she been foolish enough to throw away everything she did have to come chasing a dream?

Crossing the lightless room she returned to the sofa that up until 2 minutes ago had been making the simple task of sitting so difficult and as she sat back she tucked her knees up under her chin, sighing heavily as her tired mind tried to retrace her steps over the last year.

Before moving to Florida Kim had been a whirlwind of colour…a whirlwind of _pink_ to be precise. She was liked by everyone and had a solid group of friends…

And then there'd been Tommy.

His dark eyes pushed their way into her thoughts and just as quickly she fought to push them out.

It was 4 am on a Sunday morning and Kimberly Hart couldn't remember the last time she had slept…or woken!

She was past exhausted, her spirit beyond broken, but even now as she sat alone in the apartment that also served as her self imposed prison she could not allow herself to think of 'him', she could not allow herself to grieve for something she had killed.

Brushing her soft brown hair from her eyes a thought suddenly hit her

'_If I don't do something about this- where am I going to end up? I've already given up on gymnastics, I'm failing in school… for all I know I could end up dead in here and no one would even notice I had died!'_

' … _Great, way to be dramatic Kim!'_ She silently berated herself, but the feeling that had accompanied her first thought sat heavy in her stomach.

Dramatic? Yes, as was her way

The truth? After mulling it over in her mind she really couldn't be sure that it wasn't and that thought alone was enough to compel her to act.

With more energy than she realised she had she released her knees and pushed herself from the sofa. Walking the short distance to her kitchen she switched on the light and opened a drawer of her side unit and after retrieving a pen and a few sheets of paper she made her way to the small pine kitchen table.

Kimberlys hand gripped the pen tightly and hovered slightly above the sheet of pale pink writing paper as a memory crept into her brain reminding her of the time she'd received the writing set as a gift. It had been from her closest friends- presented to her just before she had walked out of their lives forever.

The gift had been their way of saying 'don't be a stranger' and when she'd promised them with all her heart that she wouldn't be she had meant it. Life unfortunately had different plans for her.

Taking another deep breath the pen finally made contact with the paper.

'Dear Tommy…' Her normally beautiful flowing handwriting looked sloppy at this hour and Kim felt the familiar sting of tears as she looked down at his name. She closed her eyes tight.

"Tommy…" She whispered into the empty vacuum of night, desperation and emptiness coating the word.

Mustering all the courage she had left, she continued….

'_This is the hardest letter that I've ever had to write…'_

"God!" She exclaimed whilst pushing the paper from her as though it were on fire.

Was she so tired that she was losing her mind?!

Memories flooded her exhausted brain forcing the tears that had been stinging her eyes to cascade down her cheeks like tiny rivers of fire.

One year ago… sat at this very table… She looked down at her grey sweat pants and pale blue t-shirt… had she been wearing this very outfit?!

Burying her head in her hands the petite brunette muffled a sob.

'_How could I ever thought writing a letter would be a good idea? How could I ever have thought things would be okay without him?'_

She knew she wasn't just talking about tonight. One year ago Kimberly had written a letter… and with it she had set into motion a series of events that had accumulated in her finally reaching breaking point tonight.

Somehow she had to get her thoughts into order. She had to make sense of this in her own mind before she could construct a plan of action. She knew she needed help but she also knew the only person who could help her hated her guts!

Kim crumpled up the paper with disgust and tossed it towards her kitchen bin- it missed… story of her life! Taking the next sheet she lowered her pen until the two connected

'_My name is Kimberly Ann Hart…'_ She wrote it slowly unsure of what would follow

'_And this is my story'_


	2. Revelations of a life

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs soul tho)**

_***This is my first fanfic so plz be kind.**_

_***This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind x**_

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**THE BREAKING POINT**

**CHAPTER 2**

My name is Kimberly Anne Hart.

I'm 20 years old

And I'm the architect of my own demise… which is almost funny considering the amount of time and effort other people have put in to planning it for me.

Okay, I admit it- I'm dramatic. I'm also opinionated, I talk too much, shop too much… or at least that was the old Kimberly.

_Ohhh… this isn't working! Okay Kim, just start at the beginning otherwise this is never going to make sense _

My name is Kimberly Hart and 4 years ago I was chosen along with 4 of my closest friends to take up the mantle of superheroes and help an inter-dimensional being named Zordon to protect the earth from evil.

I wont go into my time as a Power Ranger, so much has been written about us over the years that I'm sure you're familiar with the whole evil green ranger-good green ranger-powerless green ranger-all powerful white ranger is the new leader-original red, black and yellow rangers leave-new red, black and yellow rangers arrive-yada yada-the end!

You know it right? Well not quite. Did you ever notice that the pink ranger suddenly grew a couple of inches?

Welcome to the important part of the story because she… the original pink ranger, was me but I left the team after 3 years to compete as a gymnast at the Panglobal Games.

Leaving my home and my team was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, but stepping onto that plane and leaving Tommy behind eclipsed it 10 fold.

Let's clear one thing up- the green ranger and the white ranger were the same person, Tommy Oliver! The most beautiful and perfect human being to ever walk the earth!

At 16 he was my first love and now at 20 he's my only love.

I'd been terrified the day I left Angel Grove. Sitting in Tommys jeep outside the airport I'd felt physically sick at the thought of leaving him- I think in my mind I knew I was losing him. I'd held him so tight I'd hoped our bodies would merge into one and we would never have to be separated. In-between frantically desperate kisses Tommy had looked into deep my eyes and promised me repeatedly that nothing would change between us. I'd looked into his and begged him repeatedly to promise me that it wouldn't.

We were young, in love for the first time and clinging desperately to the only constant thing in our teenage lives- each other!

I cried for what felt like forever, begging Tommy over and over not to make me go. He'd been close to tears as he held my hands and begged me to stay but finally silence and stillness had fallen over us, in our hearts we knew what was the right thing to do.

I kissed him until my lips were sore- trying to capture everything about him and lock it in my heart. The way he looked, tasted…smelt. When I finally exited that jeep I felt as though I had left half of my soul behind, 1 year later I still believe that.

Anyways, teenage angst aside, the fact is- I left, he stayed and our lives began down different paths. My path ended with me meeting some guy who was the complete opposite of Tommy, and for a while I convinced myself that he was exactly what I needed to rid my head, heart and soul of Tommy Oliver for good!

I know it sounds awful but the feeling of loving him and missing him had become like clothing on a drowning woman and it was getting heavier and heavier by the day and slowly but surely it was dragging me under.

So I grabbed onto Lucas as though he were a life raft. I tried everything I could to convince myself that he had saved me from drowning and for that I owed him my life.

This is the point were my life changes forever, because not long after meeting Lucas, Tommy became the recipient of a heartless 'Dear John' letter. I said some really awful things and I'm sure they hurt him deeply but I said what I had to say to make sure that he wouldn't come after me- needless to say, he didn't. In fact I only saw Tommy again for the first time 3 weeks ago.

You see it didn't take long after sending the letter for me to realise that actually, I didn't need saving by anybody! And as a newly liberated women my first order of business was to get rid of the blond buffoon that I had some how landed myself with- A.K.A Lucas.

My second order of business was to fix my hair, put on some lipstick and killer heels and reclaim what was rightfully mine! …Unfortunately things didn't work out as planned.

I had convinced one of my oldest friends and former red ranger- Jason Lee-Scott to drop everything and meet me in Angel Grove. In an attempt to rid me of my 'I'm going to see Tommy again' nerves he took me scuba diving where we were kidnapped and subsequently sacrificed… to a volcano!

It wasn't quite the fiery reunion I had planned but Tommy along with his brand new team of 'Turbo Rangers' came to our rescue… not before we lost our souls and tried to kill them all first!

Once rescued it soon became apparent that I wouldn't be doing any 're-claiming' of anything or anyone. Tommy, it seemed had moved on to his own blond buff…blond bombshell, in the shape of my ranger-replacement, the sickeningly sweet Katherine Hillard. Seeing Tommy happy with another woman had all but killed me so I did what any self-respecting former superhero would do- I turned and ran! I haven't seen Tommy or Jason since

So this is me, Kimberly Hart, sitting in my apartment, writing a letter to myself, about myself and yet only 'wondering' if maybe I'm going mad!

Since being sacrificed though something in me has changed. I feel empty… restless- I try to sleep but I have nightmares all night long. I can't leave my apartment at night because a see shadows stalking me down the street, laughing and whispering to me. I'm at the point where I don't know what's real anymore.

I can't go on like this!

I need help and I know that Tommy is the only one that can help me, he was our leader, and I trust him with my life!

I know now what I have to do


	3. Ruins of a man

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs hair tho I'd make him grow it back!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind.**

**Thanks to everyone who has reviewed or added this story to their alerts**

Chapter 3

Tommy Olivers head flew up from the warmth of this pillow. His heart was pounding in his ears and his face was a mass of hair as he attempted to scan his room for signs of danger- everything was still.

Dropping his head back onto the warm spot it had just vacated he closed his eyes and willed sleep to reclaim him.

'Beep! Beep!'

Instinctively Tommy raised his left hand to his lips only to find his wrist bare

How could he have forgotten?

'So much for memory training' He grumbled whilst reaching across to his bedside table and picking up the cell phone he assumed was responsible for his premature wakening and momentary memory lapse.

'Momentary?! Who are you kidding? All that money for a game and you can't even remember you're not a Power Ranger anymore!'

Pushing his long dark hair from his face he flipped open the small black phone that was merrily flashing '1 new msg'

'See you at the track luv Kat x' It read

It was only 6am and already she had started

'When did she become so full on?' Tommy asked himself whilst again dropping his head down onto his pillow and the phone onto the floor.

'When did life become so full on?'

Tommy had always been an early riser, as a teenager it had often felt as though there weren't enough hours in the day for everything he wanted to do. Now he had little interest in anything or anyone, other than the cars he now raced professionally for his uncle. He felt warmth he barely remembered as he thought back to early morning katas in the park and rushing home to change before walking Kimberly to school.

'Kimberly…' He physically winced as her name echoed through his mind

'Hu! Kimberly who?' His eyes darkened as he fought to keep the bitterness from his thoughts.

Sighing deeply he pushed his hair from his eyes once more and then swung his legs out of bed. Standing to stretch he caught sight of himself in the full-length mirror he had propped against some unpacked boxes. As much as Tommy enjoyed having his own apartment he did not enjoy unpacking! …Therefore most of his unpacking had remained unpacked.

This was his first apartment since leaving home… again Tommy winced and again his defences kicked in.

'Home?! Just one ore lie you mean!'

Passing more unopened boxes he crossed to the mirror and stared directly into his own face.

He didn't look any different- older perhaps, but wasn't everyone?

Wearing only black track pants with one red stripe down the side of each leg his naked torso revealed how his once slim yet muscular frame had widened with age, as had the dark shadow that now covered his face. Tommys naturally curly hair hung in loose curls, weighed down by length and spilling over his shoulders.

He was an attractive man, he was aware of that now. He had he mobile phone full of girls' numbers to prove it, along with a girlfriend who was becoming more and more possessive by the day.

So, if he didn't look any different then why was Tommy having such difficulty recognising the man staring back at him?

He had changed; he knew without doubt that he had- maybe not on the outside but in the important places… his head and soul!

This past year had brought so many changes, not one of them had he wanted. The life he had built for himself had slowly been dismantled and now he couldn't help but feel that he lived only in the ruins.

Each loss had been as massive and significant as the other and each one had pushed him further away from the old Tommy and closer to whoever…whatever he had become.

It had all begun with the loss of his first love. Vanilla scented brown hair and caramel eyes filled his thoughts, wrapping themselves around his heart. The pain he still felt was now a source of comfort to Tommy.

'Kimberly…' Again the familiar ache consumed him and he shook his head as though physically trying to shake her from his thoughts.

The loss of his innocence had been quickly followed by the loss of his identity. The heartbreaking discovery that he had been adopted still felt like a dream he was yet to wake up from. He had struggled to understand it but never fully got there. In the end he felt he had no choice but to leave. Distancing himself from the only parents he had ever known and the brother he had yet to know.

Without Kim, and his family in tatters Tommy Oliver had been sure that he couldn't feel any more confused or alone but he'd been wrong because only 2 short weeks ago he'd been hit by loss number 3- the loss of his ranger powers.

Picking his replacement Tommy had felt like a condemned man being forced to choose the person to finish him off, because that's exactly how he felt now. Standing in a bedroom somebody else had painted off-white, he felt finished! And he was only 20 years old!

The former ranger still had his friends around him, but he was undecided as to whether this was making things easier or more difficult…and he had Katherine, again the jury was still out, but something inside of him had changed.

Dragging a hand through his tangled hair he stared into his eyes and saw the part of him he could not recognise- his soul!

Change had come slowly but it was now complete and in place of 'Tommy Oliver every bodies best friend' was a new, temperamental and impulsive man, his eyes burning with fire and fury yet shadowed by untold sadness for things only his soul knew.

*I just wanted to add that whilst writing this chapter I was listening to 'Animal I Have Become' by Three Days Grace and 'Falls apart' by Hurt- just in case you fancy some mood music! X


	4. Do or die

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDF tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

**I just want to say thanks to hewhoreaps for the continued interest in this story. I'm writing this because of an interest I have in the characters and because I also have a dissatisfaction at the way they were dealt with by the official writers. I appreciate anyone who shares that interest.**

**Chapter 4**

Lifting the receiver from the cradle Kimberly had felt an apprehension she hadn't expected.

She knew the number better than she knew her own, she'd dialled it a million times and she knew he would be awake…he was always awake! …In fact she had often wondered if he ever actually slept at all.

Her fingertips traced the number, never building up the courage to actually push the buttons.

'**Do or die Kim, Do or die!' **

The words pounded against her ears but her heart was still firmly lodged in her mouth. She knew she should have done this months ago, long before she'd convinced herself that her voice would be the last he would ever want to hear.

In the short period since coming to her decision Kim had covered all the likely possibilities. 1/ he might hang up immediately, never uttering a single word to her- she doubted it, it just didn't seem like his style but she had to accept that it was defiantly a possibility. 2/ Maybe he would speak but with a coldness and distance that she couldn't bare to be between them- again, it was possible.

'**Enough! This is totally ridiculous! He's a great guy, he'll understand!'**

These conversations with herself were becoming more and more common, she hadn't had time yet to decide whether to be concerned.

'**Okay, I'm just going to take a deep breath and call the man!'**

'**One… Deep breath, Two… Deeper Breath'**

Kim had gone over this conversation a hundred times in her head, she had planned out exactly what she would say and how he would respond, but now the moment was upon her and the phone was actually ringing, the only words that past her lips were the only one's that felt right

"Jason…Hi!"

…And then came the silence.


	5. The survivors

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

*** This chapter has a definite change of tone and loads more conversation, ****I'm ****still undecided if that's a good thing or bad thing.**

Chapter 5'_Please don't hang up, please don't hang up'_

Kim could feel her heart hammering against her chest as what must only have been a few seconds dragged by like a lifetime

"Kimberly?" was the reply of a deep voice that sounded more than just a little surprised to be hearing from her.

"Hi" she croaked, her throat constricting at the sound of his oh so familiar voice. She had always felt safe with Jason and safe was definitely what she longed to feel now.

'_Please don't be distant, please don't hate me!'_

Again a lifetime passed by…

"So… how about that sacrifice hu?"

'_**Jason Lee- Scott I love you more than life its self!'**_

"Where you been? You've been ignoring my calls"

Kim had expected this to be Jason's first question, She was sure that she didn't have to explain her sudden disappearance from the karate competition, Jason had known her long enough to understand the complexity of her relationship with Tommy and her bitter regrets over it's breakdown. He would also understand that seeing Tommy take Katherine in his arms after securing victory that day would have crushed her and that was the reason she had turned and ran home to Florida, promising herself that she never wanted to see either of them again!

The explanation and apology she did owe to Jason though, was for cutting him out of her life ever since.

'_**Where do I start?'**_

"Jason, I'm so sorry. I've been a terrible friend!"

Jason was shocked by the emotion in Kims voice. He'd known her since they were 10 years old. They had met in Ernies juice bar after school one day, Jason had fallen in love with her immediately; she on the other hand had kicked him in an unmentionable place when he had teased her about her height.

Jason grimaced at the memory and unconsciously reached south.

Feisty, that was the Kim he knew and loved, but hearing her now reminded him of just how tiny and fragile she could also be. Part of him ached to rush down to Florida immediately, if only to hug her and assure her that everything would be okay. Instead he lowered his eyebrows as he asked…

"What's going on Kim?"

Kimberly pulled a breath into her chest before beginning to explain.

"Since the sacrifice I haven't exactly been myself Jase…" she was still struggling for the right words when his reply caught her completely off guard.

"I know what you mean"

'_**Does he?!'**_

Kimberly barely kept hold of the receiver has his words hit her like blows.

Could Jason really know what she'd been going through?!

He had been lowered into that volcano with her; he had felt his soul being ripped from him as she had and he knew the black nothing-ness that had filled the void as they attempted to destroy their friends and former teammates.

Why hadn't she considered it earlier?!

They had gone through the same thing that day, it made sense that they would be experiencing the same things now!

"You do?" her voice was hesitant but filled with hope.

"Sure, if you're talking about the nightmares I have the bags under my eyes to prove it"

The sense of relief Kim felt was immeasurable.

'_**I'm not going crazy! I'm completely normal!'**_

As normal as a survivor of a human sacrifice can be at least but that was good enough for her!

"Why didn't you call?!" she didn't even try to disguise the excitement in her voice.

"Why didn't you pick up?"

_**1 point to the clever clogs in red!**_

Kim smiled, safe in the knowledge that Jason would defiantly be wearing red- it was a habit from his ranger days that he was showing no interest in breaking, she, on the other hand hadn't worn pink since the day she left Tommy in his jeep and stepped onto the plane

"Have you spoken to Tommy about it?! I mean… we should, right?"

She hadn't meant to sound so eager when bringing Tommys name into the conversation and now blushed as Jason let out a small, knowing laugh.

"Look Kim, there's something you should know about me and Tommy…"

"I hope we're not about to have a 'Springer moment' here Jase, or believe me I will kick your ass!"

"…A what?"

Kim sighed, despairing of her friend and his complete ignorance of popular culture.

"You know, instead of telling me now you take me onto national T.V where you announce to the world that you are in love with my boyfriend. You and Tommy then come out holding hands, I scream and shout, the audience boos and calls you both dogs and the host shakes his head disapprovingly"

Kim shuddered slightly at the picture she had just created in her mind and she could imagine Jason squirming at the thought.

"To quote yourself… ew gross!"

Kim giggled hysterically at her friends deep voice attempting to sound girly… and failing miserably. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so relaxed.

"I hate you Kim, you have forever violated my mind with images of Tommy and I holding hands" it was Jasons turn to shudder as he tried to block out the vivid scene Kim had just described.

"You mean that wasn't what you were going to say?" Kim asked innocently whilst trying to hold down another giggle.

When Jason next spoke he left Kim in no doubt that the time for jokes had passed. She chewed nervously on her bottom lip as his voice cut in, dark and serious

"Kim, something happened in Angel Grove, after you left, between Tommy and I… oh, and Kim?"

"Yes Jason?"

"He's your ex-boyfriend- remember?"


	6. The fragile

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDF !)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind.**

**Again, there's more conversation than I expected, I just couldn't find a better way of explaining everything. What I'm trying to do is draw a picture of what's been going on with people individually before bringing them all together.**

**CHAPTER 6 **

**(This chapter is in flashback form and is an explanation to Kim of what happened between Jason and Tommy after she left the karate competition)**

Tommy Oliver sat alone amongst the abandoned chairs.

Less than an hour ago the gym had been full of people as he and his friends had won the trophy that now sat on his knee, shining up at him victoriously.

He should be out celebrating, but instead he found himself unable to move from the plastic seat that had become his 'winners throne'. His hand unconsciously stroked the trophy as he gazed absent mindedly up at the ring.

Tommy, along with two of his best friends- Adam and Jason had just won the karate competition he had dreamt of winning for his entire life but now he had achieved it there was no warm post-victory glow and there was no triumphant song playing in his heart. There was just confusion…and regret.

The events of the previous few days kept replaying in Tommys head, he had tried to make sense of it all and his feelings towards it… tried and failed!

The kidnapping and sacrifice of his best friend and ex-girlfriend had rocked Tommy to the core. He hadn't even known that they were back in town, let alone that they were back in town 'together'.

He closed his eyes as the sense of betrayal swept over him again.

'_**Kimberly and Jason?!**_

Part of Tommy still couldn't believe it.

He had known a long time ago that Jason had a crush on Kimberly, because not long after he moved to Angel Grove they had discussed the subject. Tommy had confided in his new friend about his growing attraction to the petite brunette, Jason had nodded knowingly and a sadness had filled his almost-black eyes as he admitted to his own attraction and to the knowledge that Kimberly had never once looked at him the way he saw her look at Tommy.

The two had shaken hands on the fact that they would never let a girl come between them… not even Kim!

Tommys heart burned as he replayed their conversation and slowly accepted that Jason had indeed severed their friendship for a girl but not just any girl… **his** girl!

His eyes stung with tears as the terrible realisation hit him- maybe he had never really known Kim or Jason at all!

…It couldn't be true!

The bond he shared with Kimberly was special; he'd always believed that, no matter what they'd been through. Even after she ended their three-year romance he had still kept his most private moments solely for her… and their precious memories.

They couldn't all be lies!

He couldn't have been such an idiot!

…He couldn't be sure anymore!

"Awesome man!" Jasons deep voice was filled with excitement as he almost skipped into the gym.

Tommy didn't even raise his head to greet him, instead, he raised a hand and smoothed out his long ponytail. He knew a confrontation was fast approaching and he knew that once the words were spoken there might be no way back for their friendship but he had decided that they were words that could no longer remain unsaid.

"The dream team is back in business bro!" Jason held up his hand to Hi-5 and Tommy half-heartedly returned it.

"Tommy…uh, Kim had to leave man, she asked me to let you know how excited she was for us though" Taking the seat next to Tommy he dropped into it and kicked out his long legs.

"That trophy suits you man, it was a long time coming hu?"

The anger that had started as tiny sparks in the pit of Tommys stomach the second he realised that Jason and Kim were seemingly 'together' was now raging in his chest and threatening to consume him completely.

"So I guess I'm still getting the silent treatment" Tommy spun to face Jason so quickly that it took a second for his ponytail to catch up and fall loosely over his shoulder.

"Still… I guess I should feel honoured to get the personal touch this time, instead o some scribbled Dear Tommys…"

Jasons dark brows plummeted south in confusion, his excitement following the competition was quickly evaporating.

"Come on Jase… break it to me **brother"**

Jason was shocked as Tommy almost spat his final word at him. He didn't know what was fuelling his former teammates anger but he had a feeling that Kimberlys sudden disappearance had something to do with it.

"You know Kim as well as I do… she's a law unto herself sometimes- don't worry about it"

What had been intended as a light hearted comment that would hopefully give the two men some common ground (The complexities of Kim!), turned out to be nothing less that a red rag to a bull, because in a split second Tommy was on his feet and the trophy lost its victorious shine as it hit the floor with a sickening crack!

Stabbing a finger in Jasons direction, Tommys voice escaped his throat a little louder than he had intended.

"You should have told me before you came back here!"

The look of confusion on Jasons face didn't falter but it was a look that didn't register with Tommy who was now completely blinded by jealousy.

"We're supposed to be bro's, there are rules about these sorts of things and you've broken them!"

Jason slowly massaged the skin between his eyes. Tommys face was pink with fury and the fire that had been burning in his chest had now spread to his eyes.

"You broke your promise _**to me **_man!"

Tommys angry outburst had both shocked and confused Jason. They had been friends for a long a time and Jason couldn't remember ever seeing him like this, well… not without the involvement of a spell or some green spandex.

Jason was still struggling to work out what he'd done to provoke such a heated response from the man renowned for keeping a cool head even under the most immense of pressure when suddenly it hit him- just what he was being accused of. It took less than a second for a fire to ignite in Jason that would prove more than a rival for the one now raging out of control in Tommy.

"So you think I broke a rule Tommy? Which one would that be exactly? The 'Guy Rule', or the 'Jealous Ex-Boyfriend rule?!"

"The what?!"

"You know the one… My friend shall not date my ex-girlfriend but I shall date my ex-girlfriends friend!"

Tommy crossed his arms over his wide chest and laughed incredulously at Jason

"Me? Jealous of you?! Don't make me laugh, you know, if you flip that comment you might end up somewhere closer to the truth"

" Yes you're jealous! You're so jealous you can't even see straight!" Jasons temper had gotten the best of him but it cooled slightly as he looked into the eyes of a man he had spent years referring to as a brother.

Kimberlys rejection had damaged Tommy, no one knew that better that Jason. He had been the one to take the late night calls, the desperation for answers had been all too evident in Tommys voice, but unfortunately those answers hadn't been Jasons to give.

When time had passed and the phone calls had stopped, Jason had assumed that his friend had been able to call a truce with the past that had enabled him to move on but tonight, standing just a few feet from him it was crystal clear how fragile that truce had been.

"Tommy…" Jasons voice softened as his anger began to subside and was replaced by sympathy and concern for a friend he could see drowning before him.

"Kim and I…"

Forcing himself to block out the words that followed Tommy closed his eyes. The thought of Kim with some faceless stranger had haunted him since he received that letter but the thought of Kimberly with Jason was quickly pushing him to the edge of insanity.

His eyes shot open again as he hissed… "Get in the ring!"

Jason just could not believe what he was hearing and the look on his face mirrored that disbelief.

"You and me Jase, let's go"

"Are you crazy?! I'm not fighting you man!"

Tommy was already walking towards the ring when Jason reached out a strong arm and pulled him back

"Tommy, I'm trying to tell you something but you're so jealous you can't even hear me!"

"I told you, I'm not jealous!"

"Yeah? And I told Kim she was wrong, green really doesn't suit you!"

"The two men had moved closer and were now separated by mere inches. Both had their chest pushed out and their chins were slightly raised.

Jason could feel Tommys breath, they were standing so close and he clenched his fists praying that Tommy wouldn't escalate this. Tommy venting his pent up hurt and frustration was one thing but Tommy unleashing his built up fury would be quite another and Jason wasn't sure if he had the energy for it tonight.

"…Guys?" Both men spun around to see Adam passing the deserted seats and heading in their direction, his soft Asian features were shadowed with concern.

"Tommy… what's going on?

"Apparently I'm taking fashion advice from a guy who thinks red is the only colour of the rainbow" The bitter smirk that spread across Tommys face hurt Jason as much as it infuriated him but reaching out a hand he tugged on the red T-Shirt that Tommy wore as an accompaniment to his black karate trousers.

"Yeah? Well taste the rainbow **brother**!" Jason faked a massive grin as he almost spat his final word in Tommys direction this time.

Less than an hour ago the two men had been closer that brothers, together they had put their lives on the line and fought shoulder to shoulder for the same cause, but buried pain and confusion over a lost love had lead Tommy down a dangerous path. When jealousy had burned away his sanity and self control he'd entered into a confrontation that looked likely to have cost him the strongest friendship he had ever built, but even now, with common sense ringing in his ears he just couldn't bring himself to back down.

"I trusted you Jason, I trusted _**both**_ of you!" Jason sighed as icicles formed on Tommys words. He was physically exhausted from the fight and now he was mentally exhausted.

Seeing Kimberly again had proved too much too soon for Tommy and had caused him to jump to some ridiculous conclusions.

Shaking his head Jason turned his back on the man he hoped would not become a 'former friend', and started to walk towards the exit.

"You're wrong Tommy!" he called over his shoulder, as he walked out of the gym and past a tearful Katherine. The look on her face telling Jason she'd heard more than enough… Jason knew that feeling!


	7. The stranger at my door

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

**CHAPTER 6**

Kimberly couldn't remember the last time she had allowed herself the luxury of a 'Kim and Tommy live happily ever after' fantasy but she'd just indulged and it felt great!

Generally, when those chocolate eyes with the longest lashes in the world invaded her mind she fought as hard as she could to ignore them because she'd long ago learnt the anguish she could cause herself by succumbing to 'Tommy thoughts'. Today though, she hadn't been able to stop herself and as the water from the shower cascaded over her tiny body a warmth grew in her heart and at the same time a smile caressed her full, pink lips.

Jasons words from yesterday still reverberated throughout her soul.

Tommy had been jealous… because of her!

The thought of him still giving a damn elated her as another smile tugged at her mouth.

But he'd been jealous for some ridiculous 'Guy reason'. Some how he'd convinced himself that she- his ex-girlfriend had been dating Jason- his best friend and therefore some ancient 'Guy rule' had been violated causing him to erupt in a way never seen before

Kim couldn't help but feel that maybe all of this meant Tommy had never really known her or Jason at all!

How could he think so little of them?! … After everything they'd been through together!

It was all starting to really, really annoy her!

Yes, she'd betrayed Tommys trust, she had hurt him and she had no doubt that she'd probably made him feel as though he'd never really known her or the truth of her heart. Jason though had never given Tommy even the hint of a reason to doubt the integrity of his friendship.

What on earth had been going through his stupid, stupid block head?!

Stuck somewhere between elation, anger and a hot shower, Kim raised her face to the flow, and whilst wiping the water from her eyes she found herself humming gently to herself, whilst applying shampoo the humming gradually formed words

"Sophia! Sophia! …I'm burning! I'm burning!"

Kims beautifully melodic voice sounded haunting as it came back at her from the hard surfaces of the bathroom. Each word dripped with the agony she had brought upon herself.

"It's a fire, a fire, I can not put out! Sophia, Sophia, I'm learning there's some things I can't go without… and one of them is him!"

Tears stung at her eyes as Tommys smile stung at her mind.

'If only this water could wash away my past and cleanse my soul!" She would give anything for the water to run over her, strip her bare and then rebuild her. If only she could step out of this shower a brand new woman… Tommy Oliver wouldn't know what had hit him, and the way Kim was feeling tonight that could be literally!

Unfortunately for her, she had a feeling that nothing could cleanse a soul that felt as murky as hers did these days, and could you really rebuild anything worth keeping when the foundations were crumbling more with each passing day?

Talking to Jason yesterday, and the news that he and his best friend were no longer on speaking terms had only added to Kims feelings of guilt.

She was just starting to wallow in regret when she recognised the sound of her front door opening.

Her tanned forehead crinkled in confusion as she attempted to listen for any further noise.

Did she just hear the door close?!

Gripping the shower door tightly and with her pulse now racing, Kimberly quickly rinsed the remaining soap from her hair and then turned off the shower so as to hear properly.

She was the only person that had keys to her apartment- nobody else should be able to get in here!

Opening the cubicle door and reaching for a large, peach coloured bath towel she could have sworn that she heard footsteps moving through her home!

"Hello?!" she called out, her voice sounded foreign as it bounced off the white tiled walls.

"Is there somebody out there?!"

More footsteps, but softer this time

Kims heartbeat was hammering in her ears as she finished tightening the soft cotton around herself and then spun and ran towards her bathroom window.

Could she escape this way?!

'_**You're 10 floors up you idiot! …Okay, think Kimberly, think!**_

…_**And breathe!**_

_**You can't jump- you'll end up dead.**_

_**Alright then… just go out there and kick his butt!**_

… _**And why the hell is your heart trying to bust out of your chest?! Just over a year ago you were a daily, butt kickin super girl and now what? … You're hiding?! … Give me a break!**_

…_**Just go out there and face… whoever, whatever it is!**_

…_**In a towel?! …Get real Kim! **_

_**Ohhh… where is the pink spandex when you need it?!**_

_**Yep, it's draped all over the tall, curvy frame of Katherine 'look at me, I'm all blond and pretty' Hillard. I bet she's flaunting it in front of Tommy right now!**_

… _**Tommy! Who, it just happens is still jealous of you dating another guy! … Eat that Kat!**_

_**One point to the short stuff in the peach bath towel!**_

Snapping back to reality, Kim quickly realised that her rant-to-self really hadn't helped her out of her current predicament.

Turning towards her locked bathroom door she took a deep breath and readied herself for the possible confrontation to come.

"Is somebody out there?!" Her voice escaped as a frightened squeak and she berated herself for sounding so weak.

"I have a gun!" she lied…unconvincingly

"Hello?"

… Nothing

Looking down at the towel that provided her only protection she mused…

'Who needs a morpher when you have soft, peach cotton?!' For a second she almost sounded like the old Kim and she kind of liked it.

Reaching out a shaking hand she hesitantly turned the lock, but by the time Kimberly heard the footsteps shifting and heading in her direction it was too late, she'd already opened the door and had started to step into the hallway, which, with pale blue walls and worn cream carpet connected all of the rooms in her apartment.

When her terrified caramel eyes shot up and connected with those of the intruder there was only ever going to be one outcome… Everything turned fuzzy, words were spoken that she could not hear

… He'd come!

… And then came the darkness!

***The song Kim is singing to herself is Sophia, by Narina Pallot. If anyone ever makes a Tommy/Kim video using this song plz let me know, I think it would be amazing if done right and I'd love to see it x **


	8. Sleep now in the fire

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

***I'm really not sure about this chapter… here it goes anyways…**

**Chapter 8**

Kims eyes fluttered open as though in slow motion and then almost immediately closed again as the pounding in her head reacted viciously with the sunlight

…_**Sunlight?!**_

Kim braced herself for the pain she knew would follow and then slowly lifted her eyelids.

Needless to say, she was more than a little surprised to find herself no longer in her bathroom; in fact, she was no longer in her apartment.

Reaching a hand around to the back of her head- the bump that cried out beneath her fingertips answered any questions she may have had about the white pain ripping through her head.

"Where am I?" she asked weakly. Nausea was now coming at her in waves.

Placing a hand on to the ground she managed to push herself into a sitting position and could not believe what her eyes were seeing… because instead of being in her apartment, in Florida she was now sitting on the warm, soft sand that lined the Angel Grove Lake!

Closing her eyes Kim managed to mumble 'this cannot be happening! What is this? … Like another time hole or something? …Oh please don't be another time hole!' She had a terrible feeling that if she had been sucked back into the past no body would be rushing to rescue her this time.

With a heavy sigh she attempted to push herself to her feet. Her legs felt so strange that she actually looked down to check that they belonged to her.

…_**What the…?!**_

The day had now officially become an episode of the twilight zone.

As far as Kim could remember she had been showering in Florida until she was interrupted by somebody entering her house, the last thing she remembered wearing was the peach bath towel she had grabbed in her panic. So how come she was now standing on the edge of Angel Grove Lake wearing a frilly pale blue silk dress with delicate pink flowers… the very dress that her father had bought her to wear to her 10th birthday party

_**How can this be possible?!**_

Kimberly had recognised the dress immediately- how could she forget it when it had been such a source of childhood joy but also trauma?

Reaching down she stroked the silky fabric and memories flooded her brain…

She'd been 9 years old when she had spotted the dress in the window of a boutique, right here in Angel Grove. She had been out with her parents, shopping for the perfect outfit to wear to her 10th birthday party and as soon as she'd laid eyes on it she had known it was the one! Her mother said no straight away- it was far too expensive- even for a soon-to-be 10 year old, but instead of crying like other girls her age might have Kim simply widened her eyes and looked up at her father, pouting her childish lips she whined in the sweetest voice she could manage 'Please Daddy?'. When he had looked down into his daughters huge, innocent eyes there had been no doubt that the dress would be going home with them.

Out of nowhere the claws of sadness pierced Kimberlys heart as she remembered that same night. She had been laying her new dress out on her bed and admiring it with a burning pride- she would be the most beautiful girl at her party- she was sure of it!

When the sound of her parents raised voices caught her attention Kims young heart had been broken into a million pieces because they were arguing about her!

"You always give into her!"

"It's her birthday Carolyn!"

"We have to set boundaries and stick to them!"

"She's only 9 years old!"

Tears filled Kims eyes as she remembered how she had folded the dress perfectly back into the bag before presenting it to her stunned parents and offering to return it. Even though they had refused, Kim hadn't been able to bring herself to wear the dress to her party- no matter how much her mother had tried to persuade her. Instead she settled for a pair of simple blue jeans and a short sleeved pale pink shirt- she hadn't felt like the most beautiful girl there, she hadn't supposed she deserved to after making her parents argue the way she had.

Wiping away a stray tear Kim stepped out of her daydream.

She hadn't worn the dress that day, so why the hell was she wearing it now?!

"Weird!" she exclaimed out loud

'_**One minute I'm in my apartment and then the next…'**_

Chocolate pools began to form in her memory

"Tommy!" the look of shock on Kims face was so animated it was comical

'_**Tommy was in my apartment!'**_

Reaching around to the bump on the back of her head it all started to come back to her in waves of confusion, and questions and then anger!

'I don't know how the hell he got into my apartment or what the hell he is playing at but I am going to kill him! He must have teleported me here!"

The question 'why?' never entered Kimbelys head, instead she physically huffed before turning, and stomping barefoot through the sand.

'Typical Tommy- he didn't even remember that civilised people actually wear shoes!'

She had just decided on the youth centre as the best place to located and dismember Tommy Oliver and had altered her stomping path accordingly when flashes of red, green and white lights caught her attention.

"Ohh… pretty!" her inner child was now officially intrigued as she changed direction again and headed towards the light

'So, so pretty!'

She giggled loudly and twirled her hair around her finger as she carried on towards the lights as though in a trance, unsure if she could stop- even if she wanted to. But the trance was broken as raised voices broke through her thoughts.

Looking towards the coloured sparks- this time with a clear head, Kim finally recognised them for what they really were… and the truth struck her like a blow to the stomach!

Unconsciously a hand shot up and covered her mouth, which was now hanging open in shock… and disgust!

"Oh my God!" her voice came out as a haunted whisper as a queasiness took her over.

Mighty Morphin Red… lying motionless on the ground, as Mighty Morphin Green and White viciously attacked him.

'_**It can't be… how is this possible?!' **_

"TOMMY NO!!!" The words were out of her mouth before she had time to think better of it, and her legs began moving at a ferocious pace long before her brain had the chance to catch up.

"Tommy please stop!" Kims legs came to a halt as quickly as they had started and she struggled to stay on her feet as the heads of the green and white rangers snapped up and stared directly at her.

Starting to move towards her fallen friend she called out… "Jason, are you okay?!", before the voice of the Green Ranger stopped her in her tracks.

"What are you doing here?!" he growled whilst stalking towards her.

"Tommy you don't have to do this! Please…"

Suddenly a voice spoke out from behind her, the force of his words causing her to spin and face him.

"We don't need your help!" Hissed the White Ranger, who had somehow covered the distance between them and now stood less than a yard from her.

'The Green and White rangers together?! … I don't get this, and which one is Tommy?

"Tommy…?" Her voice was soft as she stepped closer to the White Ranger, but quicker than lightning his hand shot out in her direction- his gloved palm facing her, warning her not to take another step.

The anguish that showed on Kimberlys face was miniscule compared to what she was feeling in her heart and as she turned again to the Green Ranger her chin quivered with emotion as she whispered

"Tommy, is that you?"

"You shouldn't have come back here Kimberly" Tommys voice was deep and sounded distorted as disgust merged with her name and dripped from his tongue. Edging closer to him Kim tried to steady her breathing

"You got it all wrong Tommy, Jason and I… we're just friends, we would never do that to you Tommy. Please… you have to know that!"

A small scream suddenly escaped Kimberlys lungs as the white ranger grabbed her arm violently and dragged her a few feet towards Jasons broken form, a cold, empty laugh she'd heard before filling her ears

"Look what you did Kimberly… Look what you did!"

Kim felt sobs building in her chest as she stared helplessly at the original Red Ranger laying helplessly on the sand, and as the White Ranger released her she found herself unable to turn away, Jasons soft laugh replaying over and over in her head.

"I…I wouldn't do that"

Spinning back to her beloved Green, she sobbed

"Tommy, I wouldn't do that to Jason"

"Do you even know what you have done?!" his hate filled voice ripped at Kimberlys already tattered heart as he moved so close to her she could feel his heat.

"Tommy, I'm so sorry!" Reaching out a trembling hand Kim gently stroked the cheek of his helmet and was surprised when he made no attempt to stop her.

"Please believe me. Tommy… I need you" burning tears flowed freely from her eyes as again she ran her fingers down the side of his masked face.

"It's me Tommy, it's me- Kimberly" and for a split second she thought she heard him breathe as though he was about to respond but before he got the chance a gloved hand grabbed her by the shoulder and pulled her from her feet.

Shocked, and with her knees still stinging from the impact Kim looked up and found herself face to face with Jason! There was no time for relief at his remarkable recovery though as he quickly de-morphed and then staring at her, his eyes burning red he spat

"Into the fire Kimberly!"

"It's where she belongs," added the White Ranger

Attempting to scramble back, Kim sobbed in terror

"Jason please…"

"Into the fire" was her oldest friends only response to her panicked request for help

Reaching a hand back Kimberlys heart almost stopped as she realised the ground behin her was crumbling, exposing a pit of flames that she could see no bottom to. She had run out of solid ground and the three men… or was that two men? They were closing in. Again seeking out the Green Ranger and with flames now licking at her finger tips she screamed out

"TOMMY! … PLEASE HELP ME!"

But The Green Rangers attention was elsewhere because he was now standing- de-morphed with his back to her and his arms tightly around a grinning Katherine. Raising a long arm, Kat waved over Tommys shoulder

"Bye-bye Kimmie, you are finally getting what you deserve"

With a violent shove, Jason pushed her over the side of the pit, and with that Kim began the eternal fall…

Sitting bolt upright in bed, tears fused with perspiration on Kims face which looked ghostly white in the moonlight

'It was a dream! … But it felt so real!'

The turmoil that was twisting her stomach and soul into knots creased Kimberlys usually beautiful face.

Could it have just been a dream? …But Tommy had been here… in her apartment. Hadn't he?

The urge to scream ripped through every part of her, so much so that she clamped a hand over her mouth to make sure that the scream had no exit point.

Throwing back the covers Kim bolted from her bedroom and headed down the hallway to the living room. Grabbing the phone from the cradle she punched in the numbers so quickly it took her 3 tries before she got it right.

Jasons voice was heavy with sleep as he grumbled something that sounded like a greeting, but just the sound of his soft…sleepy voice caused Kims walls to crumble completely.

"Jason…" she sobbed, the air catching in her chest as she attempted to continue

"I'm so glad that you're ok, I thought Tommy had…" she shuddered at the memory of what she'd seen

"But it must have been a dream because you're alright I just… I thought Tommy was here but then I was in Angel Grove and you were there and he really, really hates me Jason and you pushed me…"

"It was a dream Kim, that's all. Just try to calm down ok?"

"But it felt so real… Jason, I don't know what's reality and what's not anymore. I'm scared to sleep and I'm too tired to eat. I just want my life back but it's all gone and I don't know what to do without it"

"Pack a bag Kim, I'll be there A.S.A.P"

"…Where are we going?"

"…Home"


	9. Questions

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

*I just want to say a massive thank you to everyone that continues to follow this story, I was nervous about writing it because I think it's a little darker emotions-wise than a lot of the fan-fics I've read but people seem to be enjoying the direction it's going in so again a massive thanks, especially to those who take the time to review. I'm working about 2 chapters ahead of what I'm publishing so hopefully updates should be pretty regular

Chapter 9

"Hi Tommy!"

Katherines face broke into a smile that she could not control as Tommy crossed the gravel in her direction, her best friend Tanya had once named it 'The Tommy Oliver Effect' and Kat hadn't been able to argue because that was the effect being near Tommy Oliver had on her. Tommy, on the other hand only just managed a half-smile and realising that he had no intention of closing the final few yards between them Kat stepped forward, placing a soft kiss on his sweat soaked cheek and immediately felt his body tense beneath her touch.

_**Oh Tommy… what's going on?**_

"Didn't you see me?" Katherine had been at the track for nearly half an hour before Tommy had killed the engine and made his way towards her. "I've been here for a while now"

Tommy simply shrugged. There had been a sadness in his dark eyes recently that was new, Katherine recognised it but steadfastly refused to acknowledge it. So she turned a blind eye, as she did with so many things about Tommy these days. He was hers now and she had no intention of asking questions that she may not like the answers to.

"Are we meeting the others for dinner?"

**Wow- 30 seconds and he's already looking for reinforcements, that must be a record**

"I uh… I thought maybe we could do something together tonight" her lack of confidence in their relationship showing in her voice.

"What did you have in mind?" Tommy didn't sound enthusiastic about the idea at all, but he didn't sound appalled so Katherine decided to take that as progress.

"A picnic in the park?"

Tommys whole body went cold, as a million memories flooded his brain. A million memories, all including a girl who was the complete opposite of the one standing in front of him. Petite…brunette…feisty! It was too much for Tommy to think about today, he was already exhausted. His sleep pattern over the last few weeks had been fit-full at best.

"Actually, I think I'm going to crash tonight Kat, it's been a really long day"

"But Tommy, it's such a beautiful night, and the sun is starting to set… it'll be fun, I promise" Kat tried not to sound desperate to spend time with him. She hoped she had succeeded but knew that she had failed.

"Maybe another time, okay? I'm going to head home- I'll call you tomorrow"

In his heart he wasn't sure that he would, he didn't know if he would have the energy tomorrow to deal with what he was running away from tonight. Without another word, and no risk of a goodbye kiss he started to cross the gravel towards his car whilst freeing his hair from the ponytail that had become his trademark.

"Tommy… what's going on?"

As soon as the words had passed her lips she regretted them. She wasn't ready for the truth… she wasn't ready for this to be over!

Katherines feelings for Tommy had deepened far quicker that she had intended them to, and although she knew the depth of his feeling didn't match her own, she was sure that given time she could make him love her the way he had loved… Well, more than he had loved anyone before.

"What do you mean?

Tommy turned to face Kat as the sun burned oranges and reds behind him and began its descent. His hair, which was still moist with sweat, having been trapped under a crash helmet for the best part of an hour, started to form soft curls and Katherines heart yearned for the smile which had drawn her to him in the first place. There was no doubt that he was the most beautiful man she'd ever seen, but the lack of confusion on his face told her that he knew exactly what she was talking about and was just playing dumb.

"Nothing, it doesn't matter. It's just… I thought everything was going great between us but since the whole 'Muranthians' thing you've just been acting really oddly" Her soft Australian accent was filled with heartfelt concern, but in her head she was screaming at herself

'**You fool! You had to go and mention the 'M' word when you know fine well that the 'M' word is now code for the 'K' word and that really is the last thing you need when you are trying to sort out your own relationship with Tommy, a 'K' conversation!**

Shrugging off her concerns Tommy muttered that he was fine before turning to leave again.

"I know what you and Jason fought about" she admitted it for the first time but the only response she received from her boyfriend was a slow nod of the head as he opened the door of his newly acquired, black Mustang. He'd seen trading in his red one as a step towards accepting his new life as a civilian. Red had been his final colour in a war he had fought from the front; now black was the colour of his soul.

"Tommy!" Kat ran to his side and placed a hand on his arm. She didn't know why but suddenly, the need for answers had become greater that the fear of what those answers would mean. Every part of her screamed that she couldn't handle the truth. The heart that banged against her chest begged for her to stay silent and allow it to keep convincing its self that his felt the same, but the less that Tommy said, the more she felt the need to fill his silence with questions.

"Tommy, I want you to be able to talk to me about anything…" her clear blue eyes attempted to make contact with his, but his gaze had fallen and was now stuck steadfastly to the ground.

"Even if it's about Kim, I don't want you to think that because you and her went out…"

On hearing Kimberlys name pass over Katherines lips Tommys gaze broke free of the ground and shot up to lock onto Katherines.

She had been attempting to reach out to him, nothing more, and he knew that. So why had she set a fire that was now burning through him?

"Listen, Kat, I do not want to talk about Kimberly, okay? Not to you, not to anyone!"

Tommys bitter response stung Kat as she quickly released his arm

"I know that seeing her and Jason together hurt you"

"You don't know anything about it! I told you I don't want to talk about them so please… stop talking!"

The look that had now taken over Tommys face was in stark contrast to the kind…sweet Tommy she knew, she'd never seen him like this before and she didn't like it one bit! But she knew that if she loved him, and didn't want to lose him she couldn't let him go like this. Extending her hand to his arm again she said…

"Tommy, please" but he simply shrugged it off whilst continuing to stare her down.

With her feelings hurt and her heart now breaking Katherine decided to throw caution to the wind and give him a piece of her mind!

"You have been acting like a completely different person since she came back here!"

"You don't have a clue what you're talking about!"

"So explain it to me!" The desperation for answers clear on her voice, and there was a fire in her eyes that Tommy hadn't been witness to before and he couldn't help but be attracted to it. How sick was he?! Katherine was gorgeous- he knew that, but the first time he'd been truly attracted to her was the first time she'd yelled at him. He had the feeling that something had gone very wrong, somewhere in his brain.

"Tommy, I want to understand what's going on"

"It's none of your business!"

"If it's hurting you then it's my business because I care about you!"

"You do? Well believe me Kat, I didn't ask you to!" Turning again to face his car Tommy slapped the roof and made a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a small scream

"Tommy…" again she placed her hand on his shoulder, only this time he allowed it to stay there. "Tommy, this isn't how things are supposed to be…"

Seeing the pain that Tommy was in, Kat could have cried for him. H e was the strongest person she knew but he'd been brought to his knees by betrayal and Kat knew that if she was going to help him through this she had to stay strong enough for both of them.

"Everyone has a first love, it's just a part of life, but it very rarely works out, in he end someone is usually left with a broken heart, but you get through it… you move on"

"I can't do that… don't you see?" his voice was small and shaky, and when he finally turned around to face Kat she noticed a redness in his eyes. Her heart bled for him, she wanted to throw her arms around him and promise him it would be okay but she found herself afraid of his rejection.

"I'm trying so hard…"

"You shouldn't have to try with me"

"But I do! And it's not just you Katherine; it's my whole life! I know I have to try and get over the past and I have to try and make the right decisions but I just can't do it! I lurch from one disaster to the next, from fits of fury to the depths of blackness and I can see myself doing it but I just can't stop!"

Kat couldn't remember the last time that Tommy had spoken so openly to her, she felt closer to him than she ever had. He was bleeding before her and she couldn't help but love it.

Looking back towards the ground Tommy almost whispered his next words

"I hate her for what she has done to me"

"Well if you can' move on without her, why don't you just call her up and beg her to take you back? I mean, if that's what will make you happy" Kats voice held a bitterness that even she did not recognise. She wished with all of her heart that she had met Tommy long before Kimberly Hart had ever got her claws into him and then damaged him so brutally that he would never be the same for any other woman.

Tommys dark eyes redden again as he sighed from the depths of his soul.

"Because I have to try and make a life without her now"

Tommys next action shocked Kat almost as much as it thrilled her, because he gently reached out and took her hand in his

"I need you to help me Kat" His dark eyes bore into hers and set fire to her soul

"And I need you to want me Tommy, not just someone to fill a gap in your life"

"I'm really trying" his voice was as honest as she'd ever heard it "Is that enough?"

Katherine Hillard now stood alone in the car park of the racetrack owned by Tommys uncle. Tommy had left, just a short time ago- promising to call her the next day. Following their heart-to-heart Kat couldn't have felt more happy, for the first time In a long time she felt as though they were a proper couple- they could yell at each other and cry together and in the end they would still be a couple.

The sound of footsteps on the gravel pulled Kat from her thoughts and she turned to find Tanya crossing the car park towards her.

"Hey girl!" she called out, a tentative smile on her lips "no Tommy?"

"He just left" Kat replied, smiling widely at her best friend

Raising an eyebrow Tanya asked…

"So, things are good?"

"Things are amazing, we had the best talk" Kat still couldn't lose the smile

"…Right" The look on Tanyas face told Kat that bad news would soon follow and her heart sank.

"What's wrong?" She almost didn't want to ask, she didn't want her good mood to be ruined so quickly

"Kat, Rocky just called, he's coming back for Adams birthday next week"

Relief washed over Kat

"Well that's great Tanya, Adam will be thrilled"

"The thing is, he isn't travelling alone"

Katherines eyebrows lowered in confusion

"You see… Jason and Kimberly are coming with him"

Tanya could have sworn that she heard Kats heart break into a million pieces

Tommy Olivers Apartment

Tommy sat on the floor of his living room- just in front of his black leather sofa. The voicemail that Rocky had left earlier played on his answer machine but he barely heard it as he stared down at the photograph he had gripped in his hands

_**Hey there my little 'former-ranger' friend… guess who!**_

Tommys eyes traced the outline of the three people in the photo, three pairs of eyes, all in different shades of brown stared back at him.

**So I'm gonna be in town for 'froggy boys' birthday next week and before you get all Tommy-Goes-Crazy, let me remind you of one thing- Jason is not that lucky dude, okay?**

3 identically cheesy grins… the happiness that was alive in the photo broke Tommys heart and the tears that he had been holding in since his conversation with Katherine earlier finally escaped, spilling down his cheeks and over the precious photo.

**So the three of us are going to be arriving on Monday, and since you're the only one with a place of your own I expect you to clean the sheets and pick a side bother because you're about to have a house guest. Oh and I hope you don't snore because I don't want to have to go 'ape' on you brother. Adios!**

Sitting in the darkness of his apartment, wearing nothing more than a pair of black shorts, his knees pulled up to his chest and his long hair hanging over his face Tommy Oliver wept for everything he'd lost and everything he'd become, he wept for the betrayal he had received as well as the betrayal he was committing. When sleep finally claimed him, the same face haunted his dreams, petite…brunette… feisty!


	10. The thoughts men have

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

Chapter 10

Did I forget to wind up my watch?

I hold my wrist to my ear and listen for signs of life

It still appears to be breathing… so how come it isn't moving?!

I tap the glass a couple of times with my finger, hoping that it will magically spring into life and reveal that I haven't been sat here in the juice bar for just ten minutes as it is trying to convince me, but for the two hours that it feels like

Oh man! …Did I forget to shave?!

My hand shoots up to my chin and the roughness assures me that my Swiss-cheese memory is the only thing in life that won't let me down.

I'm openly frowning at my own bitter thoughts… I can feel it, and I'm pretty sure that the two women sharing my table have noticed it too because the looks they are shooting each other don't escape my attention. In fact they're the same looks that covered their faces when they arrived here five minutes ago and found me, not just on time- that would have been a big enough shock for them, but actually early!

Anyways, I notice the looks but I say nothing, because I figure that by questioning their behaviour I'm leaving myself open to all kinds of awkward questions about my own behaviour and I'm really not in a place to answer difficult questions today!

I haven't been myself these last few days, that's for sure! I recognise it but I don't question it. All I know is my friends are totally wrong when they say it has something to do with Kim getting back into town, and if they actually aired their thoughts in front of me I'd let them know just how wrong they were.

Unconsciously I'm smoothing out my ponytail, and once satisfied that it's as tidy now as it was when I tied it, then re-tied it then re-brushed it and re-tied it this morning, my hand returns to its place on the table

I notice the look that again passes between Katherine and Tanya but again I say nothing. I just return my attention to my 'broken' watch and I'm surprised to find that a whole two minutes have passed since I last checked in on it. Perhaps it isn't broken after all…

"Tommy, they'll be here any minute so just chill out, okay?"

I open my mouth to inform Tanya that I don't really care when or even if they turn up but then I close it again, I don't trust my tongue not to get me into more trouble, it sure has been leading me astray recently, my broken friendship with Jason is testament to that.

Katherine remains quiet but I notice her going a weird shade of pale that I didn't think was possible for a living person. She pushes her chair so close to mine that she's almost sitting in my lap before she clears her throat and asks me if I'm nervous about seeing Jason and Kimberly again, you know, after everything that has happened. I turn to face her and feel more than a little uncomfortable with her invasion of my personal space- especially since she's just polluted it with the names of my former teammates.

Faking a small smile I shake my head before immediately returning my gaze to the entranceway.

Okay… for the record, my newly acquired time keeping skills and the fact that Kimberly Hart is due to once again grace Angel Grove with her presence are two totally unrelated events.

Like I was saying- I haven't exactly been myself recently. Take this morning for instance. I was up at four o clock because I couldn't sleep, not entirely surprising when you consider the state of my life right now but then, when I made breakfast all I could do was push it around my plate because It felt like my stomach was churning over and over.

Maybe I'm sickening for something! …Adam did just have the flu so… but that wouldn't explain why I've had an abundance of nervous energy these last few days! It was so bad this morning that I tried to go for a run to burn some off but I didn't even get to the park before I realised that I hadn't picked out a shirt to wear today.

It's not that I'm particularly fashion conscious but I bought these new jeans yesterday and I wasn't sure which top would look best with them…

Oh my God! …I sound like Kimberly!

…And that little bounce my heart just did at the thought of her name- it means nothing!

I return my gaze to the door but the only person coming towards us is Adam, for what seems like the hundredth time today

"There's still no sign of them!" He informs us before dropping back into his seat like a disgruntled child. He's sitting in the seat opposite to me and he's wearing what is probably the biggest 'Birthday Boy' badge I have ever seen- despite the fact that it isn't his birthday for another few days. Anyways, it makes me wonder what is larger, the badge or his brain?

"What are you smiling at?" he asks me suspiciously

I shrug and the smile bigger… just to really freak him out

"Tommy, you should defiantly wear green more, it really works on you"

I look down at my clothes as though it's the first time I've seen myself today.

Dark blue jeans a black tank top and… sleeveless green shirt!

…Green?!

"That was your first colour wasn't it?"

Tanya seems completely oblivious to the hole she is digging for me, but one look at Kats face tells me that she is drawing her own conclusions as to what this all means. Her forehead is creased in a frown as she asks me why I decided to wear green today.

I stutter the beginning of my response, unsure as to what I'm actually going to say when I am suddenly rescued from this horrible situation by a voice that could only belong to one person- Rocky DeSantos!

Enter one of the nicest guys you will ever meet, and today, my saviour, although I sometimes wonder how he ever harnessed the power of the ninja, because stealthy- he aint! By the sound of that yell he just let out he's fallen over something…again! …Probably his self!

Thankfully, before I have to answer a question that I don't have a truthful answer to Adam is out of his seat with a massive smile on his face that makes me a little jealous

Had I jumped to the wrong conclusions about Jason and Kim? Nah, he would have told me if I had

I bite down, tensing my jaw. I know what's about to follow, I just need to prepare myself.

Katherine grabs my hand and I find myself wanting to pull away, just in case Kim sees us, but what the hell do I care what Kimberly Hart thinks anyways?! …She's made it more than clear how she feels about me.I know it's just a few seconds until I see her and Jason again and I feel more nervous than I will ever admit to anyone…ever!

I disentangle my fingers from Kats, knowing that she'll take it as a rejection but it's either that or risk her feeling the shaking that is coursing through my entire body.

'Okay Oliver, just chill out dude. It's only Jason and Kimberly, so what if they are together? You're not exactly single yourself!, and sure, it's not like you're ever going to double date but this doesn't have to be a drama! You told Jason what you thought and if he wants to be with her then so be it- you don't have to be happy for them, you just have to not care'

Good one Tommy, keep telling yourself that you might actually believe it one day!

That familiar fire is burning in my chest again! God I'm sick of feeling like this!

I need to get out of here… unfortunately the way out is the only way in- either way, I'm going to have to face this.

I see Kat and Tanya whispering something whilst looking in my direction, but I can't hear a word they are saying. My eyes are now glued to the doorway that Adam and Rocky have just come through- an arm around each other's neck and the same smile mirrored on their faces…I doubt either of the people to follow will look as happy to see me!

I grip my hands together and clench my teeth, I attempt to deepen my breathing but I feel physically sick!

…If he touches her the way I used to touch her I will break his fingers one-by-one!

And if she touches him like she used to touch me- I'll die!

'Toughen up Tommy! She dumped you okay? You ought to hate her! Well at least try and pretend that you hate her!'

As Jason walks through the door alone I fight to keep control of myself. Part of me wants to hug the man who has risked his own life to save mine on more than one occasion, but images of him with Kimberly keep fanning the flames.

Wearing blue jeans, a white t-shirt and black leather jacket I can't help but feel ashamed of the comments I made to him about his love for the colour red. Seeing him in my second colour makes me wonder if this is his attempt to hold out an olive branch.

Do I want it to be?

Yet more questions that I don't have an answer to!

I notice Jason trying to meet my gaze, our eyes meet for a split second but I can not bring myself to respond to the half smile he gives me, instead I return to watching the door way. Two down…

"Hey Tommy!" I absent-mindedly hi-5 with Rocky but I never tear my eyes from the door.

'Where is she?!'

Finally I look up at my friend. It's been a long time and I've missed him, I feel it the second he flashes me that goofy grin of his but for some reason it's like he can read my mind because he lowers his mouth to my ear and whispers 'Ladies room dude'.

I nod once and then my heart stops!

I swear I have never seen a more beautiful woman in my entire life… and that's coming from the guy who has a tall, blond woman wearing a figure hugging pink mini dress almost in sitting in his lap.

Kats hand clings to mine, but I barely notice. All I can do is stare… She looks so fragile as she stands in the doorway, her arms are holding her tight and she is biting her bottom lip in apprehension… I feel my resolve to hate her start to crumble.

As she enters the juice bar, I see Jason smile at her and he starts to move in her direction. Flames are ripping through my soul- If he touches her I will kill him… I don't think I could stop myself.

Kims beautiful eyes are looking everywhere except in my direction and suddenly I feel like the biggest attention seeker in the world. I'm sat here, still as stone, I have my jaw set so I don't give away how seeing her again is ripping me to pieces and I have Katherine draped over me, but in my head I'm waving my hands over my head shouting 'Look at me! Hey Kim I'm over here! Look at me Kim!'

I want to run as far away from her as I can, but my heart has anchored me to my seat and I swear I can smell her from here- that sweet vanilla perfume that always wrecked havoc with my senses is doing its evil work again, and my last piece of resolve is disappearing before my eyes. I want to run to her like I've done so many times before and take her in my arms… I want her to make this not hurt anymore!

Instead I do the only thing that my battered soul will allow. I pull down the sunglasses that have been peacefully resting on my head, I again disentangle myself from Katherine and then I stand up and head towards Kimberly…

I see her eyes widen as I approach and part of me loves her discomfort at not knowing what I am about to do. My heart is hammering in my ears as I close the distance. Her scent fills all of my being and I can feel 5 pairs of eyes burning into my back.

"Tommy…" she whispers, her voice sounds like the voice of angels coming to rescue me from my earthly hell, it touches me in such a way that I want to just forget everything and take her in my arms, but instead I say…

"Kimberly" before walking right past her and out of the juice bar.

The fresh air hits me as though someone has just thrown a bucket of water in my face. I release a breath that I can't remember catching as one thought screams at me over and over and euphoria pumps through my heart. Looking down at the green shirt I hadn't even been aware I was wearing the most sincere smile I've felt for the longest time stretches across my lips

She was wearing my colour!

…Blue cut off jeans and a dark green hooded sweatshirt!

…She was wearing my colour!


	11. Time bomb

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!!!!!!!!!!**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

CHAPTER 11

"Hey Oliver, get back in there!"

Although only a few inches from his car and thus his escape route, Tommy managed to force himself to stop and slowly turned to face his former team mate.

Crossing his arms across his wide chest and tilting his head slightly to the right he replied solemnly "No"

Tanya had seen this stand off coming and she'd immediately known that it would be up to her to play the part of 'peacemaker'. Pinks were too emotional, they lead with their heart and although Tanya greatly admired that it had been said and proven that you could always rely on a Yellow to keep her head when everyone else was losing theirs.

Matching Tommys stance by crossing her own arms over her much more narrow chest, Tanya looked into the eyes of the man she had always admired for his strength and fearlessness, even in the most horrendous of situations, and was horrified to realise that she could almost hear his soul screaming out for help. There was a shadow covering him these days and Tanya knew that ignoring it as everyone was would not help him to move out from under its weight.

Closing her eyes she braced herself as she prepared to address 'The Forbidden Subject'

"Tommy, I know that this is going to be hard for you…"

"It's not going to be hard Tanya, because I'm not doing it!" His voice was steady and his eyes never shied away from hers. He was holding his ground as though it was all he had left in the world "I came. I saw and now I'm leaving!"

"Not good enough"

Silently, Tommy cursed the fact that it had been Tanya that had come after him and not Katherine. He felt sure that Kat would have just let him leave- as sure as he was that Tanya would not.

Damn him and his inability to ever win an argument with a Yellow- one thing was for sure though, he was going to give this one a hell of a good shot.

"You know Tommy, this might be difficult for you to hear but Kimberly and Jason didn't come back for you. They came back for Adam, not another 'Tommy Pity Party'"

Tanyas face was now as serious as Tommy had ever seen it, she and Adam shared a deep friendship, it was only now that he was beginning to see just how deep it may run and it only made him grieve more for the death of his own friendships. Tanya thought he was throwing himself a 'Pity Party, she didn't recognise his suffering for what it was and why should she? She hadn't been around long enough, hadn't been through everything they had, she was right about one thing though, this week was about Adam- he had never been anything other than a loyal friend and he didn't deserve to be punished for other peoples mistakes.

Suddenly ashamed of his behaviour Tommy dropped his eyes to his feet. Tanya recognised his regret immediately and reached out a hand to stroke his arm

"Tommy, you need to talk to Kimberly and Jason…"

He began to argue but Tanya continued, raising her voice slightly so as to draw his attention to the fact that she wasn't finished

"If you don't you are going to be stuck in this prison or regret that you have constructed for yourself"

"I didn't do any of this"

"But you're the only one that can free yourself of it Tommy, you have to be brave enough to ask for the truth and deal with it- no matter how painful it is. We're all here for you- we want to help you through this but you have to stop running"

Tommys throat constricted as the realisation hit him that once again a wise Yellow was right, he had been running from the truth for over a year…Was he ready to hear it now?

…He didn't think he was, but he couldn't spend the rest of his life in this cycle of self-destruction, a cycle that always brought him back to the same place.

He needed answers- that much was clear.

Smiling sadly at her former leader Tanya again stroked his arm

"Come on Tommy, let's give Adam the best birthday ever"

INSIDE THE JUICE BAR

Kimberly sat nervously tapping on the table; she was so lost in her own thoughts that she was completely oblivious to the daggers that Katherine was looking at her

"Kim…" Jason reached over and covered her small hands with his; it was a gesture that was supposed to reassure her that everything was going to be okay- as well as shooshing the noise that was getting on everybody's last nerve. Unfortunately it was a gesture the returning Tommy spotted and which shattered his resolution to be patient and polite until he could get each of them on their own and have 'The Talk'

"Kimberly! …Jason!" He boomed, so loud that everyone at the table physically jumped before spinning around to face him "It is awesome to see you guys again, and can I just say how great you are both looking"

The animated grin and overly excited tone he was using didn't go unnoticed by anyone and it caused Kimberly to shift awkwardly in her chair, unsure of what he was going to do next. Jason on the other hand just lounged back in his chair, shook his head and grinned wildly, before announcing…

"Welcome to the Tommy Oliver show!"

"Jason don't!" was Kimberlys harshly whispered response. Her expression warning him not to provoke Tommy who was in the sort of mood that Kimberly had never witnessed from him before. The look he fixed on her as he had headed towards her earlier was still playing on her mind. It had thrilled her as much as it had scared her; it had felt like he was looking into her soul, taking for himself all the answers and truths that she longed to give him.

The Tommy that she had known seemed lost somewhere in this new, unpredictable and temperamental one,whose stare just about turned her knees to jelly.

"So Kim, tell me something…" Tommys overly enthusiastic voice broke through her thoughts and her head automatically snapped up to see him sitting directly opposite her and staring so intently that she was sure she was blushing. Tommys dark eyes drew her to him as they always had even as she felt his anger coming in waves at her

"No Mr. Right with you this time?"

The grin faltered slightly as the realisation hit him that he might be about to get one of those 'truths' that he was trying so hard to avoid and six chins all hit the floor at exactly the same time. Kim was now physically squirming, her face glowing red.

"That's enough Tommy" Jasons voice was as deadly serious as the scowl he had fixed on his former 'bro'

Staring down at the table with her eyes closed Kimberly felt tears burning beneath her eyelids. For months she had tortured herself with thoughts of Tommys anger, she'd imagined how her heart would break if he ever looked at her with anything other than affection. She'd cried herself to sleep on many occasions with his normally soothing voice yelling cruel words in her ears.

The truth of Tommys anger was proving a hundred times more terrible than she could ever have imagined.

"Come on Jase…"

Tommy knew his next comment was going too far but he couldn't stop himself, he wanted to see her hurt, he needed to prove to himself in some twisted way that he could hurt her just like she had hurt him

"She knows I'm just messing with her, that's what friends do isn't it? They fool around on each other, sorry, with each other, I meant to say they fool around with each other cos if they fooled around on each other they wouldn't be much of a friend would they?"

Tommy never broke his fiery glare even though shame and humiliation weighed Kimberlys gaze down to the table

"Tommy this isn't the time or the place" Katherines unusually, overly made up face looked appalled at her boyfriends behaviour towards his ex-girlfriend but she had to admit to herself that inside she was cheering slightly. Tommy had turned on Kimberly, which meant without a doubt that he was turning to her. From the moment Kim had left she had known it would happen, all it had taken was time, and a helping hand from Kimberly-the-letter-writer.

"We used to be like the Brady Bunch, now we're more like the Addams Family" Rocky smiled as he said it, it was his half hearted attempt to lighten the atmosphere but the truth in his words was not missed by anyone

Kimberly felt physically beaten by Tommys brutal taunts, she had made mistakes, no one knew that better than herself and she supposed she deserved his cruel words because each one was evidence of the damage she'd caused to him.

Raising her head, her eyes red with suppressed tears she looked into the face of the man she loved more than life its self

…What had she done?!

"Tommy…" her voice appeared as little more than a regret filled whisper. "Tommy… maybe we should talk"

As their eyes locked, neither noticed the look of sheer panic that attached its self to Katherines face, but Kim did notice a change in Tommys eyes, one she couldn't quite place.

Was it fear? …Or hope?

"Please?" Her eyes begged him for this one chance

"Why don't you just write me another letter?" he sneered, but this time his words didn't hurt her, because she was sure that his eyes were telling her another story

Was she just fooling herself, or could she really see deep in his eyes that the cruelness that kept spilling from his lips did not live in his heart

Looking back to the table she shrugged, a little flame of hope growing in her chest

"If you change your mind just let me know"

At the other side of the table Rocky DeSantos had seen more than he could stand. He loved Tommy and Kimberly equally and he couldn't bare to see them continue to hurt each other, especially as he had information which might ease the situation, or at least it might provide Tommy with a little bit of comfort.

Raising from his seat suddenly, Rocky shot Adam a look that screamed 'we need to talk' and after making their excuses both men excited the juice bar

Standing next to Jasons rented jeep Rocky looked like a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders. Normally he was known and loved for his lighthearted spirit but at this moment in time his spirit felt anything but light.

Damn that tequila night he and Jason had shared the night before returning to Angel Grove!

"I can't watch that" He said answering his best friends unspoken question- what was up?

Adam nodded his silent agreement whilst wetting his lips and gently shrugging

"Tommys doing it pretty tough right now man" Adam had kept Rocky informed on all 'Former Ranger Matters' since his new marketing job had taken him half way across the country, including Tommys conclusions on the whole Jason and Kim situation

"Adam, I know what's going on between original Red and Pink- he told me before we flew out here"

Adams eyes widened, he knew that the truth had the potential to blow apart the lives of all of his friends. The whole situation was like a time bomb waiting to go off and when it did, he feared no one would be spared in the fall out.

"And?" was the only word he could force out

"There's nothing going on between Jason and Kimberly, but after too many Tequilas he made me promise not to tell Tommy- he called it 'Loyalty Amongst Reds' or something equally dramatic"

"Rocky, Tommy was a Red too, don't you have loyalty towards him?"

Rocky sighed and threw his head back in despair

"Of course I have, Tommy's one of my best friends, but he has other colours to fall back on man, I really like being a red- I don't want to have to be a blue!"

Adam knew that Rocky was only being half serious; he knew that his real conflict wasn't between colours but more between his drunken promise to Jason and his loyalty to Tommy

"I don't want to see Tommy hurting when he doesn't have to. I told Jason he had to be honest with him but he's just so pissed at Tommy for thinking it in the first place, he says Tommy has disrespected him and their friendship and he's just going to let him work the truth out for himself and then see how bad Tommy feels when he realises how wrong he's been"

"Doesn't he think Tommy feels bad enough right now?" asked Adam whilst shaking his head in disbelief "And what about Kim, does she know?"

"Kimberly thinks Jason told Tommy the truth when he went Green-Ranger-Crazy last time. I tried to tell him Adam but those two are as stubborn as each other!"

"Tommy deserves to know the truth- this is killing him"

"I made a promise… on my colour"

***This was a really hard chapter to write, I don't like the thought of Tommy being so mean but I really felt I had to show this so it contrasts with his behaviour in future chapters. **


	12. Unleashing the lion part 1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

CHAPTER 12

'_**What is this, pick on the crane day?'**_

Staring into the icy blue eyes before her, Kimberly Hart felt like a prize fighter who had just taken a thorough beating in the first round and was now backed into her corner and preparing to step back into the ring for round two.

Less than two hours ago she had lost round one to her former 'everything'. The attack of words he had subjected her to still left her feeling battered and bruised and yet here she was, stood in the middle of Angel Grove Mall having said the one thing she knew she should never have said to Katherine and the furious look on her face told Kimberly that she had unwittingly unleashed the lion from the kitty Kat.

Exhausted, yet fully aware of the importance of standing her ground, Kim braced herself for the oncoming assault as a river of people continuously flowed past- unaware of the scene unfolding beside them.

This whole thing had been a terrible idea right from the start, she'd known that the second it had passed over Adams lips, but it was his birthday, so everyone had silently agreed to just grit their teeth and do it.

By suggesting the boys all went to Tommys apartment for an afternoon of old kung-fu movies and the girls indulged in an afternoon of shopping Adams intentions had been clear… Divide and conquer!

It was obvious that Adam had hoped an afternoon of favourite pastimes might allow for the opportunity to talk, but the look of horror that Katherine hadn't even tried to hide had told Kimberly instantly that the last thing she wanted to do was shop or talk to her. So, in an attempt to help them both avoid what might possibly be the most excruciating couple of hours of both their lives Kim had insisted that she was more than happy to spend the afternoon relaxing at her hotel. The suggestion had been met with a resounding 'no' from all the guys, well… all except Tommy who, following his outburst earlier was now sitting in stony silence, honing his brooding skills whilst Kat clung to his left arm.

Kim had tried to argue the point but Rocky had informed her in his most serious tone that 'team bonding could not be achieved on ones own!' and after a few not-so-discrete under the table nudges from Adam, Tanya had assured her that she and Katherine would 'absolutely love it' if she would join them. Tanya had tried so hard to sound sincere that Kim had felt bad for her and agreed to go.

Why, why, why hadn't she just listened to her first instinct?!

Admittedly, things had got off to an okay start. The conversation hadn't exactly flowed but they had managed to exchange a few almost civilised sentences before falling into the time honoured shopping tradition of 'Is this skirt too short?' and 'Does my bum look big in this?'

Unfortunately things had begun to spiral out of control as soon as Kimberly had left the group to go and pay for a pair of boots, because upon returning she'd found Katherine and Tanya, deep in some secret girly conversation, Kim hadn't been able to make a lot of it out, as it had been shrouded in giggles but she was sure she'd heard Tommys name mentioned a couple of times.

Attempting to keep up the semi-friendly atmosphere that they had somehow managed to create Kim genuinely smiled as she walked over to the girls and asked what they were talking about, but the way Katherines face fell at hearing Kims voice told the first Pink Ranger that this was a not conversation that she was required to be part of. The look had somehow managed to escape Tanyas notice though and she smiled widely as she announced

"Kat wants to find the perfect outfit to seduce Tommy!"

'_**Curiosity killed the…crane!'**_

Managing to control her first reaction which was to be sick, and trying really hard to fight her second reaction which was to scratch Kats eyes out Kim unfortunately fell victim to her third and most ridiculously stupid reaction, the implications of which she was ignorant to until it was far too late.

Reaching out a hand Kimberly picked out a beautiful cream silk dress with delicate green flowers, it had caught her attention as soon as she had entered the shop and her thoughts had been immediately of Tommy. Holding it towards Katherine she had plastered on what she had hoped had looked like her most sincere smile before saying

"Here, try something like this Katherine- he loves it when a girl wears his colours"

The words had taken flight and were slamming into Katherines heart long before the gravity of them hit Kimberly who was now biting her bottom lip nervously. It didn't take a genius to work out what would be going through Katherines head as Kim stood before her, self consciously looking down at her green hooded sweatshirt.

"_**What the hell have I said? Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!"**_

The true meaning of the exchange was completely lost on Tanya, and who could blame her? She had never known Tommy and Kim together, not like Katherine had.

Taking the dress from Kimberly she held it against her friend.

"Kat, it is beautiful, Tommy would just die if he saw you in this"

The deathly white faces of the two women before her suddenly alerted her to the trouble brewing.

Katherine hadn't heard a word since 'he loves it when a girl wears his colour' because fury along with the insecurity that had forever haunted her relationship with Tommy were tearing up her entire being, propelling her to act.

Pushing aside Tanya and the dress Katherine viciously gabbed hold of Kimberlys arm and pulled her out of the store and through the stream of people, which was where they stood now, Kimberly and Katherine, both staring each other down whilst Tanya stood on the sidelines knowing that this was always likely to happen but not sure of how appropriate the location was. What would all of these people say if they knew that Pink Ranger 1 and Pink Ranger 2 were stood just yards away from them preparing to rip each other to pieces?


	13. Unleashing the lion part 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

CHAPTER 13

"Is this what all of this is about?" Katherine tried to control her anger as she tugged on the sleeve of Kimberlys sweatshirt.

In the split second that followed Kim considered playing dumb and pretending that she had no idea what Kat was talking about, but she quickly decided it was pointless, the guilty looks she'd been giving her sweater had defiantly been evidence of her knowledge so she decided on honesty as being the best policy.

"Look, Katherine, I know what you're thinking okay? But believe me, this has nothing to do with Tommy, it's just my school sweater"

Half-truths were better than no truths, she supposed

"You just can't stand that you're not the centre of his universe anymore can you? So you come back here, wearing his colour, hoping to get his attention…"

This was escalating far faster than Kimberly had anticipated; she tried to cut in, to tell her that she was wrong but Katherine was like a possessed woman who was physically unable to end her tirade.

"You don't want him anymore but you just can't bare not having his attention. You can't bare to see him happy with someone else!"

"It's not like that!"

"It's always like that with you!"

Kimberlys mind was a haze of confusion- what was this actually about? Yes, she'd made a stupid comment and she was sorry for it the second she'd said it but the rage that was now spewing towards her spoke of something deeper than a simple over reaction.

"Katherine, why are you so angry? I know I was thoughtless but I'm sorry okay?" Shrugging Kim added, "I thought we were friends"

A half smile crept over Kats lips as she replied calmly

"We were never friends Kimberly"

Kim narrowed her eyes as she shook her head in utter bewilderment. Wrapping her arms around her for protection she whispered…

"We were once"

But Katherine simply shook her head back and forth

"Can't you see the truth? It was never about us, it was always about Tommy"

The words struck Kims soul with such viciousness that she physically stepped backwards, she had known of Katherines attraction to Tommy from the first time she'd seen them together. Tommy had often asked her how, but some things women just knew. After Katherine had been released from Ritas spell she had genuinely felt as though they had formed a solid friendship… Had it all been an act?! It couldn't have been-Kim had entrusted her with everything!

"The diving board…" it was all she could manage as her brain attempted to unravel the truth. That day when Kat had put her own fears aside to help Kimberly overcome hers, it had cemented their friendship… she'd been so thankful.

"I had to make sure that you competed, I had to make sure that you left"

"You're lying" but Kim had a sick feeling in her stomach that told her she probably wasn't. "I trusted you Katherine" she still couldn't convince her voice to show its self as anything other than a whisper. "I trusted you with everything that meant anything to me"

Hello Kims angry voice, glad you finally put in an appearance!

"I can't believe this…" Kim felt in shock, she had been expecting to come home and face some harsh truths from Tommy but this… Was there any part of her life that wasn't a lie?

"You and Tommy were never going to last Kimberly, you proved that by leaving him for the first man you met in Florida" Katherine sneered, her voice now as icy as her eyes. "And he proved it by taking only four days to get over you"

"Now I know you're lying" Kim hugged herself tighter in an attempt to hold herself together. Kat was angry and attempting to hurt her- that was all… Wasn't it?

"Tanya…" Kat spun to face her friend, finally remembering that she and Kimberly weren't alone. "What did we do the weekend after Tommy got the letter?"

Tanya stuttered a little, still reeling from the war of words that was being fought before her. This was an awful side to Katherine that she had never witnessed before; a side she wished she didn't know existed. She was punishing Kimberly for her own insecurities and for Tommys inability to convince her that she was the one he wanted.

Tanya did feel sorry for both women, they were obviously both fighting their own demons but Katherine was her best friend- they had been through so much together, and even though she knew Kat was out of line, she had to be there for her. They were a team… forever!

"Skiing" it was her only response before turning her back on the two, ashamed at having played any part in the awful altercation.

"We went skiing" The half smile that had been teasing Katherines lips was no stretching the entire width of her mouth. "And Tommy met another girl"

That shot sliced right through Kimberlys heart, she felt dizzy with shock but she couldn't let Katherine see that she was getting to her, she had to be strong.

'_**No tears Kimberly, not this time!"**_

"He wouldn't"

Katherine was now grinning down at her, and considered how much she looked like wounded prey, She'd hurt her- she could see it in her eyes

"The truth hurts doesn't it _Kimmie_, four days and he was already looking for the next contestant, she was pretty too, tall… blond… just his type. So you see, there's really no point in you coming back here, trying to play games because the truth is, you just didn't mean enough. Sure, you dated- in the way children do but Tommy and I… we're together in the way adults are"

The venom that dripped from Katherines tongue took Kimberly back to another time completely, those weeks before she had left Angel Grove, Katherine had been under a spell and she'd tried to kill her…turns out that the real Katherine and the evil Katherine weren't all that different after all.

Kimberly ran her fingers through her hair, trying to make sense of it all

Had Tommy really met another girl after just four days, someone that he had wanted like he had wanted her?

Had he really given himself to Katherine so easily?

Kim and Tommy had always promised each other that they would wait… for each other. Even with Lucas she hadn't… she couldn't!

Kat was messing with her head- trying to punish her. For what, she wasn't quite sure but she'd hurt Kim in the most brutal of ways, she'd disrespected her entire relationship with Tommy, made them out to be nothing more that stupid children. She couldn't believe that that was the way Tommy spoke about them… she wouldn't

"You know Kat…"

Kimberlys voice was completely calm; Katherine had hurt her as much as she would ever be able to, now she had no truths to fear except for her own.

"When you first came into our lives I knew you wanted Tommy, it was obvious to everyone except him, because he doesn't see himself the way we do. Even after Ritas spell was broken you still didn't try to hide it and Tommy did eventually begin to notice but it didn't matter, because no matter what you did, I never felt threatened by you- never, there was never a time, not even a second in our three years when he made me feel like he wanted anyone but me, and I felt like the luckiest girl in the world, to have Tommy…All of him- can you say the same?"

Kims eyes never shifted from Katherine who was now moving uneasily, the smile had completely dissolved from her face and her features hung in a cloak of seriousness. Kimberly continued…

"You might think it means something to have his body, but let me tell you something Katherine and it's something you already know, I can see it in your eyes every time you look at me. You might have Tommys body… but you will never ever have what's in here"

Kimberlys fingers tapped her chest, dancing just above where her heart pounded in her chest, with just one name carved through it.

"And believe me, it's the best part of Tommy Oliver"

"Tommy loves me!" Katherine finally lost all control of her voice as she yelled at Kimberly loud enough to shock some elderly shoppers who turned and tutted at her before continuing on their way

"Would you really be stood yelling at me in the middle of the mall if you really believed that was true?"

"If you care about him at all Kimberly just leave!" Kat had meant for it to sound like a demand but it came out sounding like a desperate beg"

"I can't!" Desperation now dripped from Kimberly words too

"You already did, Kimberly you don't know what you've done… I love him!"

"…So do I!"

The truth stunned both girls into silence as they stood with tears in their eyes, both terrified of what the truth would mean.

KIMBERLYS HOTEL ROOM- ANGEL GROVE

Kimberly Hart sat on the bottom of her bed and stared into her dressing table mirror.

She was a total mess! Her face was puffy and tear stained and her mascara was now doing a good job of imitating Panda eyes.

Who was this weak… pathetic wreck looking back at her and why couldn't she get rid of her once and for all?

Tears spilled over again as she whispered to her reflection…

"Please… just give me the old Kimberly back, I can't do this without her"

This was supposed to be her time of action, this trip was supposed to be the time she took control of her life. She'd promised Jason that this time there would be no running away… she didn't want to run away, she just wanted Tommy to hold her. She wanted him to tell her that all those things Katherine had said were lies designed to hurt her but she couldn't rely on Tommy to ease her suffering anymore

"I just want the old Kimberly back…"

And then it hit her, Kim was on her feet and heading towards her wardrobe before she even had time to formulate a plan, it felt as though she'd been hit by divine inspiration, she didn't know how she was going to achieve it but two things were clear:

1/ Show Katherine Hillard that there's no substitute for an original

2/ Show Tommy Oliver that there is no substitute for an original!

Opening her wardrobe door Kim reached in and stroked the silky fabric… cream with delicate green flowers.

Tommy always did love it when a girl was wearing his colour!

*This was originally supposed to be all one chapter but I thought it would be way too long and might not hold peoples attention. So here it is Part 1 and Part 2 hope you enjoy x

"


	14. Complicated

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an **

**open mind**

***Thankyou to everyone who read and reviewed 'Empty Spaces' it was a bit of a mish-mash and I defiantly wasn't 100% happy with it and I was tempted to take it down- we'll see how it works out x**

Chapter 14

Tommy grabbed the red backpack from the backseat of hi car and slammed the door behind him.

Yesterday had ranked pretty high on his list of 'Worst Days Ever' and now he intended to work out as vigorously as possible for as long as possible and if the opportunity arose to pummel something he was definitely going to take it… hopefully it would be Jason!

The time he had spent with his former friend yesterday had been complicated- to say the least. At times they had found themselves falling back into the old routines of their youth, debating which Kung Fu artist was better and who could beat who in a fight, but this time the debates had been darker, each mans voice was tinged with the wrongs they considered the other to have committed against him.

Adam and Rocky had tried their hardest to keep the atmosphere light hearted and at times Tommy and Jason had even joined in with their playful banter, but it had all ended on a sour note when Kim had called Jason and asked for him to pick her up from the mall. When faced with another man doing for Kim something that he had always taken pleasure in doing, Tommy had reacted badly and relations between him and Jason had ended where they had started… rock bottom.

Just thinking about yesterday inflated a desire within Tommy to hit something…hard!

Kimberlys presence had effected him more than he had expected and it had provoked reactions from him that he had never thought that he was capable of. He inwardly cringed as he remembered the things that he had said to her the previous day.

There had been a time- not that long ago when even the thought of saying something to upset Kimberly would have sent him into a state of panic, but yesterday it had just rolled off his tongue.

It was like some form of sick pleasure to him, watching her squirm under his verbal onslaught, but when she had looked into his eyes, her own wet with what he thought looked like regret he had felt so small and so cruel that part of him wanted to hold her until everything but them disappeared from the world, the other part however, the part that was still tortured by her actions had won and he had not been able to hold his vicious tongue.

Closing his eyes as he entered the building Tommy tried to shake himself free of his thoughts. A vigorous work out was exactly what he needed. The group were meeting for dinner that night, and it gave him just over 10 hours to prepare himself to face Kim again…. her and Jason.

Rounding the corner and finally entering the gym Tommy could have sworn that he had been transported back through time. He felt the weight of age lift from his shoulders as his heart vacated his chest and headed straight for his mouth. Because there, at the far end of the gym where she always used to be, wearing the pink that she had always worn was Kimberly and to Tommy, for a brief, wonderful moment it felt as though she had never left.

Unable to control the smile that was now causing his lips to curl upwards and cheeks to flush Tommy allowed himself to believe for a split second that this last year had all been a horrific nightmare. That any second now Kim would look over to him and her face would light up in the way only he could make it, he would be free to walk over and wrap his arms around her. In his mind at least… she was his again!

Kimberly had known of Tommys presence in the gym long before she had looked up. She had sensed him nearby- a skill she had honed during their many battles as Rangers. It had allowed her to keep her mind completely on the fight, safe in the knowledge that Tommy was close by.

When she did finally allowed herself to steal a glance in his direction, the smile he wore had convinced her that this game she had been formulating in her mind since her epiphany last night would be one worth playing.

Putting on her game face, Kim stretched out one final time- allowing herself time to steady her heartbeat and to prepare for any cruelness Tommy might throw her way.

Without ever turning to face him she could feel Tommy approaching and her heart began pounding in time to his footsteps. Holding a breath in her chest for so long that she actually started to feel dizzy Kim began counting back from 5 whilst she wiped her palms down the front of her grey shorts and then mustering every ounce of courage she possessed she turned to find herself looking up at Tommy. The smile he had worn earlier was long gone and in its place was a mask of nothingness.

Flashing him her most radiant smile and tilting her head to one side, she sounded a hell of a lot calmer than she felt when she said brightly…

"Hi Tommy!"


	15. The fragmented pieces of us

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so pleeeeeeeeeeease be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

*****FESTIVE GREETINGS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!

CHAPTER 15

The way Tommys jaw muscles bunched and un-bunched a few times was clear evidence to Kim that he was trying to decide how to deal with this unexpected meeting.

"You're in my space" The coldness of his voice and his inability to keep eye contact as he spoke told her that he had decided to pick up where he left off yesterday which meant Kim was going to have to work twice as hard.

"Oh…" she replied, her eyes and voice filled with innocence. "This is still your space, I didn't realise, I just assumed you would have **moved on" **The emphasis she put on the last two words didn't escape Tommys attention; in fact they only served to agitate him even more.

Locking his glare onto Kims,his eyes darkened as he spoke

"Yeah well, not everyone lives their life by the motto 'Out with the old and in with the new'" Tommy didn't even try to disguise the true meaning behind his statement

"It's a good thing too," Kim continued whilst never once breaking eye contact "It sounds like a stupid life motto if you ask me. I much prefer 'The old ones are the best'…don't you Tommy?

The sharp change in the direction of the conversation left Tommy reeling for a moment as he struggled to work out what exactly she had meant by that. It was no good, his brain couldn't help but jump to ridiculous conclusions so he decided to just file the comment away and dissect it at a later date. One thing was for sure he was guaranteed not to forget a comment like that- not from Kimberly!

"So…" Kim crossed her arms over her pale pink T-shirt. "Are you here to apologise for being such a jerk yesterday?" Her eyes twinkled bright with mischief but she knew she was pushing him. How far would he let her go before he gave something away?

Shaking his head slowly from side to side Tommy could only manage to reply…

"You're out of your mind" Before walking right past her and dropping his rucksack onto the mat.

What the hell was going on? Yesterday Kim had barely been able to make eye contact with him and now here she was talking to him like nothing had ever happened. His mind was spinning with confusion. At least yesterday he'd been able to convince himself that she at least felt bad about what had happened between them, at best she might even have regretted her actions, but now it seemed like she didn't care at all.

Two small taps on his shoulder blade sent an electric current coursing through Tommys body… it was a feeling he hadn't had in such a long time, a feeling that he had dated other girls hoping to find but never had, now here it was, like a bolt out of the blue- it had been inside him all this time, just waiting for… It couldn't be. This was absolutely ridiculous!

Spinning around Tommy stared down at Kim and immediately found his walls beginning to crumble

How could she still have this effect on him after everything she had put him through?

Why did his soul delight in having her so close to him when for his own sanity he should want her to stay as far away from him as possible. There was only one person in the world that could tangle him in so many knots and his entire being longed for her, as much as it longed to be free of her.

Sighing, he forced himself to speak

"What do you want?"

Pouting slightly Kimberly replied…

"Your bag is on my mat"

Frustration quickly began to bubble up inside of Tommy. She'd been gone for over a year and apart from the early months there had been no communication, apart from the two times she'd turned up and thrown his entire world into turmoil.

How dare she stand there, enticing him to feel all the things he'd tried so hard to bury just by simply being her? And how dare she lay claim to his workout space?!

How the hell would she like it if he just turned up in Florida and decided to workout on the exact spot she always used?!!

"Why don't you just pack it in for the day and leave me in peace" Tommy attempted to keep control of his voice- the last thing he needed was for Kim to realise that she was getting to him.

"That won't work, I just got here. Hey, I have an idea…" A huge smile lit up Kims face as the cold hand of dread wrapped around Tommys heart.

What on earth was she going to suggest?

"…We could always share!"

…Okay, he hadn't seen that coming.

Motioning towards the balance beam with his head Tommy replied

"Have you fallen off that thing again?" Kims face contorted into a full on, affection winning pout. Slapping both hands onto her slim hips she smiled sarcastically as she retorted…

"You're a funny guy"

"And you have to have hit your head if you think I want to be anywhere near you"

Kims game face slipped for a moment as the sadness of the situation between them filled her eyes.

"Tommy…what's happened to you?"

Tommys eyes mirrored her sadness as he quietly responded "You did" Before he turned and pulled a dark green towel out of his bag

Putting her game face back in place Kim pulled the towel from his hands and gently wiped her face with it. She couldn't read the look that crossed Tommys face and she made no further attempt to as she handed the towel back to him and walked away saying-

"I didn't realise a girl that you could get over in a couple of days could affect you so deeply. My bad though- I thought we could be friends for Adams sake but obviously you're too busy trying to pull the sympathy act to think of anyone but yourself"

The fury that instantaneously fired up inside of Tommy was like nothing he'd ever felt before.

How dare she brush everything that had happened off so easily?

She thought he had got over her in a couple of days, was she so blind that she could stand just a few yards from him and yet not see him still bleeding for her?

Sympathy?! All he wanted was his life back- a life she had taken!

Before Tommy had time to think about what he was doing, his arm shot out and his hand wrapped tightly around Kimberlys bicep, pulling her close to him he lowered his head so that their noses were almost touching. The warmth of her body seemed to burn through the black karate pants and tight black t-shirt he wore. He desperately wanted to close the last few inches between their lips but he feared the consequences. He knew that if he were to give in he would be at risk of losing the last fragmented pieces of himself. Kim would know the truth of his heart and again she would be in the driving seat-this was one time that Tommy could not afford to let Kimberly have control.

Loosening his grip slightly but never letting go Tommy looked into Kims face. She wore no fear, only veiled longing as her caramel eyes twinkled up at him and her full pink lips parted slightly in what he hoped was intended as a silent invitation.

"You think you have this all worked out, don't you? You think you know it all but believe me, you have no idea"

Pulling her tongue slowly along her lips Kim marvelled at the desire in his eyes.

"You're wrong" She whispered, "I know you"

Lifting her free arm and placing her hand flat to his chest she felt his heart racing

"I know you inside and that's what scares you so much" Her own heart was banging against her chest, telling her she was pushing it too far but she knew she couldn't stop. He was her captive audience and if she didn't say this now she feared she never would.

"I can give you the answers that you want Tommy…"

His heart begged for her to speak his name once more

"You just have to ask me for them"

They stood like that for a few seconds longer, joined by their physical touch and the yearning of their broken hearts before Tommy noticed people watching them and he released Kimberlys arm before turning his back on her.

"I'll leave you to it then" She said whilst picking up her own lilac rucksack, "But Tommy do one thing for me, wear green to dinner tonight, I always thought it suited you best"


	16. As friends we suffer

**Disclaimer: I own nothing (wish I owned JDFs heart tho!)**

**This is my first fanfic so please be kind x**

**This is set after the Turbo movie but I didn't watch Zeo or Turbo so plz keep an open mind**

CHAPTER 16

Adam Park tapped nervously on the table he and Tanya were occupying at 'Beppes',-Angel Groves number 1 Italian restaurant. Nerves were making him feel hyperactive and a glance into Rockys world did not suit him one bit, unfortunately his fingers and feet steadfastly refused to stay still as they continued to pump out a rhythm-less beat.

"Adam please…" Tanyas face was the very picture of a woman hurtling towards the edge of losing her patience and on seeing it Adams features lifted into an apologetic smile as he ran a hand over his newly cropped hair.

"What's up?" Tanya asked as she placed a sympathetic hand on the shoulder of his short-sleeved, charcoal dress shirt.

"Is it really terrible of me to feel nervous about my best friends having dinner together?"

Rubbing his shoulder gently, the former Yellow Ranger let out a small laugh

"I'd say under the circumstances it's completely understandable"

Adam considered every member of their dinner party to be as close to him as family. Sure, they'd shared some experiences that had pushed them to the brink of what they thought they were capable of, but it had always been their friendship that had seen them through.

Recently though, Adam had felt the cracks opening.

Chewing nervously on his thumbnail, he gazed at the entrance way and a feeling of deja-vu swept over him

"I wish they would just get here so we can get this over and done with"

Tanya again reached out a slender hand in his direction and the chunky brown and orange bangles she wore jingled as she did. Pulling his hand from his mouth she said softly,

"Adam, this is about your birthday-okay? They aren't going to ruin that for you" Smiling vibrantly Tanya continued, "After tomorrow they can tear each other apart if it makes them feel better but until then they'd better all be on their best behaviour or else they'll have me to deal with"

"Hey guys!" Kimberly and Jason smiled brightly as they entered the restaurant and made their way over to the table.

Jason was dressed to kill in a crisp, white dress shirt, black jeans and a perfectly tailored black blazer. The silver hoop that hung from his ear was the only sign of the rebellious streak that had seen him sell his car in favour of a Harley earlier that year.

"Kim you look amazing" said Adam whilst hugging her. The sleeveless pink dress that she wore was low cut, but not too low and it clung to all the right places whilst never revealing too much, matched with a dark brown knee length leather jacket and dark brown boots Kimberly definitely looked dressed to impress although not in an obvious way.

As they all took their seats Kim and Tanya attempted a greeting but the awkwardness from yesterday was evident. Adam was just about to ask questions when a familiar voice broke through the quiet Italian atmosphere of the loft restaurant

"Dude, I didn't take them I swear!"

"Italy, meet Rocky" Adam shook his head and laughed as he hi-5'd with his life long friend

"Was I loud?" Rocky asked as he dropped into his seat and began rolling up the sleeves of his pale blue shirt with black pin stripes.

"Man, you're always loud!" Proclaimed Tommy as he took the seat opposite to Kimberly and next to Katherine- who was so deep in conversation with Tanya that she didn't notice the intense gazes that passed between the former couple.

"Girl…" Tanya moved closer to Kat and whispered in her ear "That skirt is short!"

Katherines face lit up immediately

"I know, and Tommy loves it, he hasn't been able to take his eyes off me all night. I'm telling you, it's a good job she didn't try to out-dress me because she doesn't have the legs to stand a chance"

Noticing the look of concern that covered Tanyas face Katherine quickly added…

"She started this!"

"Kat, you and Tommy are together, why can't you just be happy with that?"

" Because she wont let us" Moving her seat closer to Tommys, Katherine looped her arm around his before smiling at Kimberly who simply returned the smile and then moved her attention to the man who was now the object of both their affections.

"So Tommy, I really like your red shirt" Kim shook her head slightly, knowing that he had decided on red purely to spite her.

"Thanks" he responded whilst faking a brief smile, "Kat thinks red suits me best- don't you Kat?"

Fake smiles were attached to all three faces accordingly.

"Hey, let's get some drinks before we order" Jason announced whilst catching the waiters attention, "Then we can toast the almost-birthday-boy"

50 MINUTES LATER

Any stranger observing the 7 former rangers would have thought that they were just another group of friends enjoying a nice meal and for the first time in a long time, it was almost the truth.

They had all made it through drinks and starters relatively unscathed. The conversation had been light hearted for the most part, dominated primarily by the mystery of Tommys disappearing underwear!

Tommy had argued with certainty that Rocky had forgotten to pack any underwear and was systematically stealing his, it was an accusation that Rocky denied vehemently but the glint in his eye told everyone that Tommy may in fact be on to something.

Everyone had enjoyed the distraction and at times it actually felt like old times. That was until they were waiting for the main course to be served and Rocky headed for the bathroom. His leaving the table had set a chain of events into motion that would see the evening heading down a familiar disaster path.

Returning to his seat Rocky fixed his biggest grin on Kimberly and said nothing. Grinning back Kim continued her conversation with Adam; they were discussing what he wanted to do tomorrow for his 'actual birthday'

"Don't you want to know why I'm grinning at you Miss. Hart?"

"Sure I do but we all know how terrible you are at keeping things to yourself Mr. DeSantos so I'm just going to sit here quietly and I'm sure that within 30 seconds you'll have told me whatever it is you want to tell me"

Sitting in agonising silence Rocky was determined to prove her wrong- her and everyone else at the table that was trying to suppress a laugh.

15 seconds… 16 seconds… 17 seconds…

"Alright, alright I'll tell you if you're that desperate to know. On my way to the toilet some guy stopped me and asked if you were single, I told him I'd put a good word in for him"

"What?!" Tommy quickly turned to Jason who he assumed had sounded so surprised at Rockys matchmaking antics but instead he found 6 pairs of eyes all trained on him.

Good God, he had said that out loud! Tommy rubbed his forehead and turned almost as red as his shirt. Glancing across at Kimberly he caught sight of the tiny smile that she was attempting to disguise. A side-glance at Katherine told him that she had witnessed the poorly disguised smile too.

Why had he gone and put his foot in it? Things had been going so well!

Turning to face Rocky again Kim decided it was time to have a little fun.

"So was he cute?"

Kims interest surprised everyone and they all quickly turned to watch howTommy would react. Thankfully he had regained enough control of himself to sit in silence with his teeth clenched tightly, providing a barrier between his tongue and the outside world

"I don't know Kim, he was a dude and I'm a dude…y'know? I actually feel freaked out that you're asking me that"

"Well point him out the next time you see him and then we can all decide" The smile she flashed in Tommys direction received no response from him other than a snort that was a clear sign of his disgust at even the thought of helping Kimberly to pick up a guy.

"Aren't you going to say anything?" Tommy asked Jason- who was completely oblivious to the conversation that was going on around him, instead his focus was soley on shredding the napkin that was in front of him. Shrugging slightly Jason responded by informing Tommy that he was simply here to party and intended to keep well out of everything else.

"Food!" Rocky exclaimed whilst rubbing his hands together "It's about time too, I'm starved" The thought of Rocky going long enough without food to ever feel hungry amused everyone, let alone the thought of Rocky going long enough to actually starve.

Excusing herself from the table Kimberly headed down the stairs towards the toilet. The sight of the tall blond guy following her was missed by almost everyone as they accepted their food. Unfortunately Tommy didn't miss it, and after explaining to Katherine that he needed some air before eating he left his seat at such a speed that she didn't even get the opportunity to argue.

Gripping the wooden railing tightly Tommy began his descent.

He knew what he was about to do was ridiculous. When Kim had turned up again yesterday he'd felt like he was stuck inside a hurricane of emotions. Each one moving and changing too quickly for him to grab hold of and keep.

When Rocky had called to tell him they were all coming home, Tommy had gone to sleep each night praying that when he saw her he would feel nothing. It was a pointless task because he knew that when it came to Kimberly, one way or another feeling nothing would never be an option.

His black leather shoes moved soundlessly down the wooden steps and the faint hum of voices began to fill his ears.

Tommy had been sure that Jason and Kimberly were a couple, Jasons inability to deny it had as much as confirmed it to him, so how come he showed no emotion when Rocky had joked about setting Kim up with another guy?

Could he have gotten things so wrong?

Tanya had told him that the only way forward was to talk to Kimberly and Jason and although he wasn't sure if he would ever be ready to hear Kims truth, surely the worst he could hear from Jason was what he'd already convinced himself to be true.

Reaching the bottom of the staircase Tommy immediately saw Kimberly and her admirer. Squaring his shoulders and fixing in place his most stern glare he stood there and said nothing.

Kimberly nodded her head in agreement with her admirer but she wasn't exactly sure what she was agreeing with because he had lost her attention the second she'd spotted the size 12 shoes descending from the staircase. By the time the perfectly fitted red shirt had appeared Kim was about ready to scream at… 'Whatever his name was' to get lost!

"So, I was just telling your friend I'm in banking" Jared was yet to realise that he was fighting a lost cause and so he ploughed on with the speech made up of all the things he thought would impress a girl. If only he knew that the only thing that would impress this particular girl was standing right behind him.

"It might not sound like the most exciting job in the world but the money is fantastic. You should see my apartment…"

"Uh…hi Tommy, can we help you?" Kim had noticed the change in Tommys demeanour the second 'whatcha-call-him' had mentioned her seeing his apartment and although Kim had no romantic interest in the man she thought it was best to come to his rescue.

"Sorry bud," said Jared as he turned to observe his unwanted guest "We didn't notice you there, you sure move quietly for a big guy"

Tommys expression didn't change as he headed towards the couple but Jareds face managed to turn two shades paler. Kimberly simply shook her head at Tommys macho display.

"Did you want something?" she asked

"Yeah, I did"

Kim was sure she could see the beads of sweat forming on Jareds brow as Tommy stood as close to him as possible. Looking Jared up and down Tommy finished his sentence

"I need to pee. Nice little friend you've got here, it's a shame he knows he's out of his depth" and with that Tommy walked past them and into the mens room.

"Wow" said Jared whilst visibly relaxing "He's pretty intense"

"Believe me, his bark is worse than his bite. Listen, it's been really nice talking to you but I… I have to go" Kim slowly began heading in the direction of the mens room. "I have something I have to talk to him about"

Jareds was clearly confused

"You're going in there?"

"He won't mind"

"But I thought we were getting to know each other" He still hadn't caught on to the game he had unwittingly found himself In the middle of

"That…" Kimberly said whilst pushing open the door to the mens room "He obviously does mind. Sorry- it was nice meeting you though" and with that she took life by the horns as she stepped inside.


	17. We are broken

**DISCLAIMER:** I own nothing!

*I just want to say thanks to the people that continuously read and review this story, and to those who read and don't review- HI! …hope you're all enjoying it x

**CHAPTER 17**

"Well, well, well…"

Forcing into place the bravado that had driven her all day, Kimberly buried the smile that was fighting to break free whilst crossing her slender arms over her chest and glowering in Tommys direction.

Leaning over the tiny white sink, Tommy turned on the tap and stubbornly refused to meet Kims gaze. Cupping the cool water in his hands he allowed his eyelids to drop shut and then splashed the water over his face.

Kim had been toying with him all day- he was painfully aware of that- but what made it worse was the knowledge that every time she had provoked him, he had reacted and each time he had shown her a little bit more of his heart- the one thing that he knew he had to keep from her at all costs.

Tommy knew that ignoring Kim would only succeed in angering her further but he was nowhere near ready to admit the real reason that he was stood here in the mens room with his ex-girlfriend rather than sitting upstairs with his friends enjoying the steak that had arrived at the table just about the same time that he had vacated it.

"Want to explain to me what the hell that was all about?" Kim tinged her voice with more anger than she actually felt.

Reaching for a paper towel, Tommy dried his face before straightening up and allowing his gaze to finally meet Kimberlys

"Want to explain why you just can't seem to leave me alone today?" His voice was almost mocking her as he scrunched up the towel and threw it into the bin.

Kimberlys face contorted into a look of disbelief

"You're the one who followed me down here and then treated me to your little 'I Am Man' show, which, by the way was completely out of line seeing as how you don't have the right to be jealous of me talking to other guys anymore"

Kims cheeks flushed as she read Tommy the riot act and she nibbled on her lower lip as she awaited his response. The new unpredictability in his character left her slightly nervous and although her bravado was holding up well it was fragile, she knew that it wouldn't take much for it to slip and leave her naked before him.

Tommy didn't respond at all for a long time, he just stared at her with a darkness in his eyes that almost made her want to cover up.

Taking a few steps towards her, Tommy wiped his still damp hands down the front of his dark blue jeans. Standing as tall as he could he stuffed his hands into his pockets and stared her down. He hoped that his close proximity would cause her to feel so uncomfortable that she would forget about the confrontation that she was obviously had planned for them but Kimberlys bravado continued to hold up well under the weight of his gaze and she never once broke eye contact.

She knew what she wanted from tonight, she had wanted the same thing when she had confronted him at the gym that morning. She wanted a blazing row- the likes of which she and Tommy had never had. She wanted him to scream at her, she wanted him to beg for the truth that she so wanted to give him. She wanted him to throw his truth at her and free her from the doubts and confusion that Katherine had burdened her with. She wanted them to free themselves in a blaze of fury that she had no doubt would eventually burn out and leave them scarred but cleansed.

Now all she had to do was convince Tommy to participate.

"You can start explaining at anytime Tommy"

Shrugging slightly his gaze intensified as a smug smile lifted one side of his mouth

"You weren't interested in that guy"

Kims eyebrows lifted as if silently asking him to elaborate

"You were playing games with him" he stated confidently "Just like you have been playing games with me all day"

Kim fought the urge to slap that smug grin off his face. This was her game and she didn't like the fact that he was catching on to it and turning the tables on her but she'd come too far to back down now. If she was to stand any chance of salvaging something from the ruins of her relationship she had to play to win.

Slapping her hands on her hips in mock-offence Kimberly tipped her head to one side

"And why exactly would I be playing games with you?"

Tommy shrugged again

"Because it's become something of a hobby to you"

Kimberly smiled and shook her head as Tommy took another step closer

"If it's not true why don't you explain to me how yesterday you couldn't bring yourself to look at me and now here you are following me around and talking as though nothing ever happened"

He could tell by the look on Kims face that he had her on the back foot, his closeness had her shifting uncomfortably before him and she obviously hadn't expected him to question her behaviour. Tommy knew that if he was to avoid the big confrontation he had to distract her with a series of smaller, less important ones and who knew- perhaps he would gain some insight into the real story without receiving more information than he could handle.

"Well…" Kimberly stepped past him and walked towards the small window that was covered by a peach net curtain. Her fragrance hung on the air as she moved away from him but Tommy knew that this was her attempt to put some distance between them and regain some control of the situation so he resisted the urge to turn to face her immediately,. He was quickly finding himself with the familiar longing just to look at her but he knew he had to keep the upper hand if he was to get out of here with his ignorance still in tact.

"You were pretty mean to me yesterday…" Continued the voice from behind him.

In his minds eye he could imagine her gazing at him, hopefully she was chewing on her bottom lip the way he loved so much and he imagined her bare arms crossed across the soft cotton of the pink dress that had been enticing him all evening. Suddenly he missed her more than he could bare and he turned to find her. To his surprise she hadn't been looking at him- instead she was gazing out of the frosted glass window with her back exposed to his hungry eyes.

"…and I guess I deserved it, but I already felt pretty awful about everything…guilty and whatever… anyways, then I went shopping with Katherine and she let me in on a few things that made me wonder how much of this is real and how much of it's an act"

Tommy felt his whole body tense at the suggestion that any part of his suffering might be an act. Pulling his hands from his pockets he crossed them over his broad chest and tensed his jaw. Kim noticed the annoyance on his face as soon as she turned back to face him.

"So I have Kat to thank for these mind games?"

"This isn't a game Tommy, there's too much at stake for either of us to be 'just playing'"

More words that his brain couldn't make sense of

"I came back here for a reason Tommy…"

Tommy felt his heart begin to pound as he realised that she had turned the tables on him and the conversation was now heading in the exact direction that he was trying to avoid.

"I'm leaving" He said whilst turning and heading towards the exit, but quick as a flash Kim had sprinted across the room and she threw herself between him and the door. Reaching out she put a hand on his chest to hold him back from the door. The warmth of his body beneath her palm seemed to spread through her hand and up through her arm until it moved through her chest and enveloped her heart.

Tommy looked down at her, his eyes burned into hers as though trying to communicate something that he couldn't find the courage to tell her.

Dragging his tongue over his lips he made no further attempt to leave and Kim made no attempt to remove her hand from his chest

"Why are you doing this?" He barely whispered

"Because I can't stand you hating me anymore" Kim closed her eyes and her fingers sought out a button near the top of his shirt. Opening her eyes again she fixed her eyes onto his. "I want you to talk to me about what happened, I want you to let me fix this I know there are things I need to explain and I can if you would just give me the chance"

Tommy said nothing as he gazed into Kims eyes, he was stood on the edge of a cliff and if he had the courage to jump he had a feeling that it would be the truth that would kill him rather than the fall.

Kims fingers nervously fiddled with his shirt button. She obviously wanted to unburden herself but at what expense to him? The walls he had built specifically to keep her out had been crumbling ever since he saw her yesterday .

Part of Tommy wanted to ask the questions that had tortured him for more than a year but he knew he wasn't ready to deal with the answers.

Raising his hand he wrapped it around her much smaller one, her skin felt soft like he remembered and his heart screamed out for the past

"We're broken Kim… you can't fix that"

"let me try" Her caramel orbs begged him for the chance

"I can't risk you failing again"

With that Tommy released Kims hand and stepped back from her. Reaching up he smoothed out his ponytail and rubbed the back of his neck. These confrontations with Kim were really taking their toll on him

"I have to go" His voice was quiet and sounded exhausted "Kat will be wondering where I am"

Stepping away from the door Kim felt the sting of tears, she had wanted an argument but what she got was an emotional confrontation in which very few words were spoken but they had connected, in a deeper way and it had left Kim with a terrible fear that there really was no way back for them. She didn't want to force anything on Tommy that he didn't want to hear and she didn't want to force from him anything that he wasn't ready to give her.

"Go on then… go back to Katherine" she hadn't meant for it to sound so bitter but she was fighting back tears that she did not want Tommy to see. She'd invested all her hopes in a confrontation with the truth but it had failed, he wasn't ready and Kim was scared he never would be.

As Tommy silently moved passed her and pushed open the door Kim felt him slipping away from her, she couldn't help but hope when he had taken her hand in his but it had been false hope. He belonged to the girl that he was now going back to- she'd lost him and it felt as painful as it had the first time around.

Stepping through the door Tommy had never felt more torn, he knew he was being a coward, he knew that he was giving up the chance to free himself with the truth but he couldn't bring himself to do it instead he was walking out on the one person that could save him and heading back to the person he was using in an attempt to save himself.

Heading back up the stairs Tommy paused for a second and pulled open the top of his shirt, looking down he felt a lump in his throat. Kim had asked him to wear green that morning and he had purposely worn red- in some sort of attempt to prove he had chosen Katherine over her but looking down the neck of his shirt he gazed at the green tank top that clung to his chest … the same way Kimberly clung to his heart

*I know the Tommy and Kim-ness is really slow burning but please stay with it, after Adams birthday it's all going to heat up and the end will be in sight, p.s I really think this song is very Tommy/Kimberly. It's 'we are broken' by Paramore x

I am outsideAnd I've been waiting for the sunAnd with my wide eyesI've seen worlds that don't belongMy mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalizeTell me why we live like thisKeep me safe insideYour arms like towersTower over meYeahCause we are brokenWhat must we do to restoreOur innocenceAnd oh the promise we adoredGive us life again cause we just wanna be wholeLock the doorsCause I'd like to capture this voiceThat came to me tonightSo everyone will have a choiceAnd under red lightsI'll show myself it wasn't forgedWe're at warWe live like thisKeep me safe insideYour arms like towersTower over meCause we are brokenWhat must we do to restoreOur innocenceAnd oh the promise we adoredGive us life again cause we just wanna be wholeTower over meTower over meAnd I'll take the truth at any costCause we are brokenWhat must we do to restoreOur innocenceAnd oh the promise we adoredGive us life again cause we just wanna be whole


	18. Foolish games

**DISCLAIMER**: I own nothing

*I hope people are still enjoying this story, it's my first fanfic so let me know if you hate it or rate it x

**CHAPTER 18**

Kimberly Hart stood on the soft golden sand that outlined the Angel Grove lake and stared into the clear blue water.

Closing her eyes she wrapped her arms around her waist and broke the early morning silence with a sigh. She didn't know what time it was only that it was early. She couldn't remember how long she'd been there, only that it had been dark when she had arrived and now the orange sun had begun it's sleepy ascent.

A cool breeze kissed the back of Kims neck as it whispered sorrowfully into her ears. Opening her eyes again, she set free a solitary tear which she angrily wiped away with the back of her hand.

Yesterday, she had been so sure of her next course of action, she had been so sure that forcing the 'old Kim' to take control of the situation was the right thing to do. She'd been sure that 'old Kim' could have brought a response from Tommy that would have seen them making slow progress forward. Unfortunately after their encounter in the mens room last night Kim had been left with the feeling that Tommy didn't want progress, he simply wanted her gone so that he could continue his relationship with Katherine.

A second tear escaped as Kim shook her head gently at the hopelessness of the situation.

The evening following their encounter had gone from bad to worse. Once Tommy had made his way back upstairs Kim had hung around long enough to regain her composure and when she finally did rejoin her friends she found her self as unable to join in the merriment as Tommy was to remove his hand from around Katherines shoulder. He had spent the remainder of the night ignoring Kim completely whilst whispering things in Kats ear that made her blush and giggle with pleasure

Foolish games- that's all they were playing.

The early morning breeze again snaked around Kimberlys neck and she pulled the zip of her grey hooded jacket up further.

Kim didn't hear the footsteps cutting through the sand in her direction, didn't know that she wasn't alone as the third and fourth tears fell, and when a hand gently squeezed her shoulder she knew by the scent that accompanied it that no matter where she was or how wretched she felt there would always be one person who would always be there when she turned around.

Wiping away the remaining tears she turned to him and knew she would never have to fake a smile when he was around.

"How long have you been here?" asked Jason, his almost-black eyes were wet pools of concern

Kim simply shrugged that she didn't know and Jason again squeezed her shoulder as he asked how she was doing. Another shrug signalled that again she didn't know the answer.

Poor Jason- she thought, he had a life of his own- he was preparing for exams and then hopefully college in September but here he was on another mercy mission for her, he was reaching out to her, asking her to unburden herself, to let him carry half of her load but all she could do was wish it was Tommy that had sought her out.

"Last night was fun" he finally released her shoulder.

Kims face didn't hide the fact that she didn't agree with him

"So you and Tommy talked?"

"Did he tell you?" Kim couldn't help but sound hopeful, but the shake of Jasons head told her that he and Tommy weren't at a stage in their relationship that allowed them to open up to each other. Tommys coldness towards Jason had confused Kim these last few days . Yes she knew about the argument they'd had when Tommy thought that she and Jason were 'together' but Jason had told him he was wrong- surely that meant that there was no reason for them not to return to the way they had always been together, yet they seemed distant now

"Yeah we talked" Said Kim as she turned away from Jason and again stared across the lake whilst wrapping her arms around herself. "If that's what you can call it. I don't know what's happened to us Jason" She turned back to face him, her eyes red and her chin quivering with emotion

"He's still upset Kim, you just have to ride this part out. He won't feel this way forever"

Shaking her head, a sob caught in her throat.

"I did this to him and me being here just makes it worse. He's trying to move on with his life- he has friends and the beginnings of a career… and he has Katherine. Why can't I just let him move on? After everything I've put him through I should be happy for him, upset for myself but happy for him. Instead I keep coming back here and making things difficult and it's just making him hate me even more"

"He doesn't hate you Kim, he just wishes he did. Hate's easier…and it doesn't hurt as much. Just give him time to work things out"

"I can't force him to ask for answers Jason, no more than I can force him to give them. How long should I hang around hoping that things will change when I know fine well that the only thing that needs to change is me."

Tears spilled freely down Kimberlys cheeks and Jason wanted to stop her from speaking- he wanted to hold her and ease her suffering but he knew she needed to vent and he would stay silent and allow her to do that

Sniffing loudly Kim ran her fingers through her loose brown locks and then she looked into Jasons eyes with a look of such powerful determination that he knew she had reached a conclusion

"I'm leaving"

Jason had seen that coming a mile off and so he just stared at her, never asking why because he knew the answer, he simply waited for her to start justifying her decision as he knew she would because he knew she would be trying to justify it to herself

"I'm going to go and see Adam, I'll explain that I have to go and I will apologise for having to go today but he'll understand." Flashing an unsure smile up at Jason she asked… "Are you mad at me?"

Jason pulled in a breath before answering. How much should he say? He wasn't used to tough love where Kim was concerned but he was all she had right now, if anyone was going to talk sense into her it had to be him. Releasing his breath he found where he needed to start

"Kimberly, you're one of my best friends and you know how much I love you" Kim could feel the sincerity burning from his eyes just as she could feel the intensity of what he was about to say and she had a feeling that she wasn't going to like it one bit. "I know you've been having a hard time recently and I'm sorry that I'm not the one that can help you through it but I have to tell you, if you leave now it will be the most selfish decision that you have made"

"Selfish?! Do you have any idea how hard this is for me to walk away"

"…Again" Jasons gaze hit the floor knowing that the last comment would sting her.

"I left last time because I couldn't bare to see Tommy with Katherine, I explained that to you and you said you understood"

Kims voice was suddenly higher and louder than she had expected and tears filled her eyes which were tinged with hurt and betrayal but Jason knew that if he didn't confront her with the painful truth she would live her life going in circles- running away only to eventually come back. Kimberly couldn't move on without some sort of resolution, even if the final resolution wasn't the one her heart yearned for

"I did" He raised his eyes to look into hers, he wanted her to know that he wasn't trying to hurt her… he was trying to save her. "Only this time it seems like you're running away because you didn't get the response you wanted and you're…"

Dare he say it? He knew without doubt it would infuriate her

"…It seems like you're just going off in a strop Kim" Jason inwardly cringed as he prepared for the onslaught and the fire that flared in Kimberlys eyes, extinguishing any trace of tears told him that he wasn't going to be disappointed

"I'm 'going off in a strop?!' is that what you really think? Have you not heard a single word that I've said to you? I am trying to do what's right for Tommy, I'm trying to let him get on with his life no matter what is does to mine. Jason, every time I have come back here it's been for Tommy how can you of all people not see that?!!" Her arms crossed viciously across her chest and her lips pursed together In anger and frustration.

"And every time you have left it has been for you, because you can't take seeing him with Kat, and because you can't stand him hating you. Do you have any idea what you do to him every time you come back here? Do you know the emotional hurricane you cause in his head? Your being here drags up all the things he is trying to bury, and every time you run back to Florida you leave his world strewn around him and it's like he's back at square"

"I can't believe you are defending him when he's treating you almost as badly as he's treating me and you don't even deserve it!"

"…Maybe I do" Jason heaved another breath into his chest as he rubbed his forehead. Kim thought he didn't deserve Tommys anger but he knew that wasn't quite the truth, he could have sat Tommy down and told him the truth about his non-existent relationship with Kim but disappointment at his friends lack of trust had caused Jason to keep the truth from him, hoping Tommy would discover it for himself and then come to Jason on his knees to apologise.

"Tommy thinks I've been a bad friend and he's right"

Kims forehead crumpled in confusion. Jason was incapable of being a bad friend- that much she knew

"Let me talk to him. I think there are some things I can tell him that might calm his anger a little… once he's finished kicking my ass that it" Jason knew that the confrontation with his best friend wouldn't be pretty he just prayed that it didn't get physical. "Lets spend today with Adam like we all promised and then tonight I will talk to Tommy"

Looking up at Jason, he realised just how exhausted Kim looked, she hadn't been sleeping, haunted by nightmares and residual guilt, he was here to looking after her not to yell at her but he had to instil some of the fight in her that she had oozed during their Ranger days

Sucking her bottom lip Kim finally spoke again, her words saturated with emotion

"I can't do this Jase, I can't keep fighting him, it's killing me"

Reaching for her arm he said softly

"You aren't supposed to be fighting him Kim, you're supposed to be fighting for him, isn't that why we came back here?"

Old Kim would never have let Tommy go, even when he was the evil green ranger and he'd spoken to her with such venom she had kept going back to him, sure that he was worth it. She might have changed but her belief that Tommy was worth any fight hadn't. Jason was right, she couldn't run away this time

Sighing, Kim looked up at Jason and grinned… after yesterday she couldn't believe she was saying this, but as she took hold of his hand "Game on" escaped her smiling lips.

**CHAPTER 19 PREVIEW**: _Who will get to Tommy first. Jason… Or Rocky? And how will Tommy react to his mistake?_


	19. The truth part 1

_**DISCLAIMER:**__ I own nothing… except the heartfelt hope that the actual PR writers find it in them to do the right thing x_

**CHAPTER 19 Part 1**

The green light that bathed Tommy Oliver was brighter than any he had ever seen before and coming from a man who had spent a period of his life being transported around Angel Grove in a beam of green light that was saying something.

Narrowing his eyes he scanned the sea of people before him.

Where was she?!

Looking down at his watch Tommy noted that they had been in 'The Rum Barrel' -a club owned by Rockys uncle Sylvester for just over 45 minutes and for about 44 of them he had been ready to leave because today had been torturous beyond all imagination.

As the 'Birthday Boy' Adam had been in charge of picking the activities and Tommy was 100 percent sure he'd picked them all with one thing in mind- strange and unusual ways to torture Tommy Oliver!

Activity number 1: A morning at the beach.

And it had sounded harmless enough, so much so that Tommy had felt confident whilst pulling his back pack and towel from the passenger seat of his car, that the beach would be big enough for him, Kimberly and Jason, but when Kim had turned up wearing a white bikini with a pink sarong, Tommy had been sure that the world wasn't big enough for all three of them. Every time Jason had gone near Kim Tommy had found himself having to use every ounce of restrain he had not to walk over and punch him in the face.

Luckily he had been able to keep control of himself but one thing had been glaringly clear- Kimberly Hart didn't need to accost him in the mens room or cause a confrontation over work out space to get a reaction from him- he had spent the morning ignoring the longings of his entire body as proof to that, and he had lost count the number of times Katherine had caught him watching his ex-girlfirend.

His chest tightened a little as he remembered the look of hurt and inadequacy that had tinged Kats face.

Now, glancing sideways at his current girlfriend Tommy wondered what on earth this situation had done to her.

Ever since Kim had been back Katherines face had slowly been disappearing under the thick layers of makeup, and her skirts had been getting shorter as her tops became lower. He knew what she was doing- she was selling herself out in an attempt to keep his attention and he felt awful as the realisation hit him that no matter what she did, his attention would always be somewhere else.

A sense of shame swept through him just as Kat noticed that he was watching her and she flashed him what he assumed to be a seductive smile. The one he sent back was more of a silent apology than a seduction but it seemed to please her just the same because she squeezed his thigh, satisfied that his attention was on her before returning to her conversation with Tanya.

Activity number 2: A picnic in the park.

Again it sounded harmless, how much trouble could Tommy get himself into in the park?! …but when he turned up and realised the spot that Adam had chosen was the exact picnic bench that he and Kimberly had shared whilst on one of their early dates his silence throughout lunch had been less about brooding for once and more about reminiscing.

He skipped joyfully along memory lane for most of their two hour lunch. Remembering how again, he had been late and again Kim had forgiven him immediately. She had looked stunning that day, so much so that he had told her at least 3 times, not because- as she had teased him later, he had forgotten he'd said it but because he was desperate for her not to forget that he thought it. Kim had made a picnic lunch and it had amused him no end when she had used slices of fruit to spell out their names and encase them in a heart

His own heart had ached for those days as he had looked across at Kim and found himself wishing that everyone else would issapear. When she'd curled her lips into a beautiful smile upon noticing him staring he remembered the sweet, innocent kisses they had shared that day and he'd dropped his head in embarrassment as he realised that if he was to kiss her now, there would be nothing innocent about it.

"The band should be starting any minute"

Rockys weight landing hard on the leather sofa beside him bounced Tommy right out of his thoughts

"I can't believe your uncle let us crash this"

"Yeah well if it had been for anyone other than Adam we wouldn't have stood a chance but my uncle's known him almost as long as I have and for some reason he kind of likes the little sucker"

Looking around the bar Rocky quickly noticed that there were two absentees from their group

"Where are Jason and Kim, I haven't seen them for ages"

Shrugging, a jealousy that Tommy had grown accustomed to flared in his chest. Yesterday he had been on the verge of admitting that he may have been wrong about the whole 'Jason and Kimberly thing' but Jason had spent today glued to her side and Tommy was sure that could only mean one thing…

"Are you okay Tommy, I know things are a little weird right now but…"

Tommys voice cut in over his friends as though he had no idea that he had been talking

"What's the deal with those two anyways? I mean…are they dating or aren't they?" Tommy had been speaking more to himself more than himself than anybody else but the look of panic that suddenly descended on the face of the second Red Ranger intrigued him immediately. "Rocky?"

The Blue Turbo Ranger was on his feet in a heart beat and searching for an escape route. He had wanted to tell Tommy the truth ever since he got back into town, he wanted to repay the loyalty that had always been shown to him but he'd given Jason his word… Jason-The first Red Ranger, the guy who trusted him with his powers and by whos standards Rocky had always judged himself, Jason was in some ways his hero and he had shared something with him. Rocky didn't want to let him down by breaking his promise but then there was Tommy… the guy who had saved his ass more times than Rocky could remember, the guy who had taught him the true meaning of selflessness and loyalty.

Rocky was torn…and panicking!

"Rocky?!" Tommy was on his feet just as quickly and his hand made a grab for the red Superman t-shirt that was desperately trying to pull away. "Something you want to tell me?"

Rockys eyes flew from side to side as he desperately searched for Adam to come to his rescue. The truth about Jason and Kimberly was Jasons to give but he had somehow shown himself to be someone who had information that Tommy wanted and the look on his former leaders face told him that he would extract those answers from him the easy way…or the painful way

"The band!" Rocky shrieked as Eyeshine- Adams favourite band made their way onto the small stage. Using the distraction as an opportunity to escape Rocky heaved himself free of Tommys grip before disappearing into the crowd in search of the wisest man he knew.

SOMEWHERE ON THE DANCEFLOOR

"Adam!" Rocky bolted towards his lifelong friend and grabbed him by both shoulders "Adam you have to help me. I somehow let Tommy know that I know something that he wants to know and now he's after me. What do I do? What do I do?"

The look of sheer panic on Rockys face caused Adam to laugh a little but he knew how seriously his friend was taking this whole situation- Rocky wasn't used to responsibility and he was taking to it badly.

"Jason should never have asked you to keep something from Tommy" he was attempting to give Rocky his full attention but the first few chords of 'Sunday Flower' were kicking in and he was feeling his attention being torn. "If Tommy wants the truth just give it to him"

"I made a promise though!"

"Yeah, a drunken one!"

Sighing, Rocky released Adams shoulders

"Couldn't you just tell me that it's never good to break a promise?"

"Sure, but you'd still know what the right thing to do is. Now do you mind? This is one of my favourite songs"

As Adam turned away from him Rocky knew the time had come to pledge his allegiance and as he manoeuvred his way through the crowd he hoped Tommy would be able to see his predicament and forgive him for being a poor friend

"Looking for someone?" Tommys voice held a coldness that chilled Rocky to the bones, There was only one thing for it… Play dumb!

"Tommy! There you are, where'd you go man? One second you were grabbing me and the next you were gone"

The seriousness on Tommys face never lifted. Giving into his fate Rocky put a hand on his friends shoulder

"We need to talk man, but not in here, lets get some air"

The walk through The Rum Barrel was one of the longest of Rockys life, he played the conversation over and over in his head, trying to work out the best way to tell Tommy that he had been living with him and keeping this from him whilst still keeping their friendship in tact.

Where the hell was Jason when you needed him?!

"So?" Tommys arms were crossed over his chest and his face was as dark as Rocky had ever seen it.

This wasn't his fight so why the hell was he the one standing in a car park preparing for a showdown with the one man he would never want to fight.

"Tommy…I want you to know that I really appreciate everything you've done for me and I uh… I would never keep anything from you unless I really thought what I was doing was for the best"

"Lying to a friend is never for the best Rocky" Tommys voice was haunted by the mistakes of Kimberly and Jason as he never once lifted his gaze from Rocky

"To have lied I would have had to say something that wasn't true when what I've actually done is um… not said anything at all" Rocky attempted the goofy grin that usually melted the hearts of all his friends but Tommys heart was as icy to him as his stare.

Stepping back slightly he attempted to put some distance between the two men

"First, I want you to repeat after me…"

"Just get to the point Rocky- what do you know?"

"Repeat it or I say nada!" he was attempting to lighten the atmosphere- one of his specialities but Tommy simply pursed his lips and refused to lighten up. A simple lift of his head signalled to Rocky that he would play his game. "Good, now repeat… I-Tommy-Oliver…"

Tommy slowly repeated his words

"Promise-Not-To-Kill"

"Can't promise that man" Said Tommy whilst shaking his head and then smoothing outhis ponytail. He really didn't want to be stood here doing this with Rocky but he'd been keeping something from him and that just fuelled Tommys sense that there was no one in the world that he could rely on.

Raising his fingers to his lips Rocky twisted them in a motion that let Tommy know that unless he continued repeating after him- his lips were sealed.

Huffing, Tommy quickly repeated that he promised not to kill…

"My good friend Rocky DeSantos"

A cold smile pulled up one side of Tommys mouth as he simply said "Rocky DeSantos" Signalling to him that their friendship was on the line here

"Close enough… okay, here it is. Before we came back to Angel Grove, Jason and Kim came to stay with me for a couple of days and during a tequila night some information came to light"

The burden the truth had been to Rocky was written all over his face and had Tommy not been as nervous as to what his next words were going to be he probably would have felt sorry for him but he knew that the next words that crossed Rockys lips were going to change his life forever

"Rocky…"The deep voice that cut into the conversation took both men by surprise and they turned to see Jason exiting the club and heading in their direction. "Why don't you go inside, I'll take it from here"

_***Chapter 19 part 2 will be up A.S.A.P and I apologise if this isn't up to scratch, I was just so excited about the showdown in the part 2. I will decide whether to re-write it or not once part 2 is up. Just to let you know the next couple of chapters are going to be pretty dark so you'll either love em or I will lose you all x I hope I don't lose you all x **_


	20. The truth part 2

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing, only the heartfelt wish that the real writers find it in them to do the right thing.**

_*Big apologies to everyone that read part 1 with underlining! What can I say…I can barely turn this thing on and the tec Gods hate me! Hopefully everything's back to normal but thanks to JasonLeeScottFan for the heads up_

**CHAPTER 19 part 2**

Taking slow, precise steps, Jason Lee-Scott closed the distance between him and the future of his closest friendship.

He and Tommy had fallen into a tight friendship as soon as the final whistle of the karate competition that had introduced them was blown. The interference of the evil witch Rita Repulsa, which was designed to tear them apart and bring down the Power Rangers had served only to cement their friendship and strengthen the team with the introduction of the Green Ranger.

During past conversations both men had pondered on whether their friendship would have been solidified the way it was if they hadn't had to fight a life or death battle for one another. In attempting to rip them apart Rita had only succeeded in joining them in a brotherhood that had withstood fierce battles whilst both were under the influence of dark magic and the years they had been separated due to Jason and two of their closest friends Trini and Zack being chosen to represent Angel Grove at the Teen Peace Summit in Geneva.

Even the affection both men shared for the same girl hadn't damaged the bond they shared.

Jason had been immediately aware of the connection between Kimberly and Tommy and knowing he would never be more than a friend to her he had given Tommy his blessing to make a move, but recent events had changed all that and yes Jason had entered into a dangerous game by withholding the truth but he was now ready to put an end to it- he had no choice- for every bodies sake.

"You know Tommy, I thought we were more than this, standing in the car park of a bar arguing over a girl. I just want you to know that I shouldn't have to explain this to you bro, you should have known this all along" The coolness that Jason had hoped to hold on to was evaporating by the second. How, after everything he had done for Tommy, everything he'd risked, could he doubt him and mistrust him the way he was?!

Tommy simply raised his eyebrows and attempted to keep a cool exterior, he couldn't let Jason know how scared he was of what he was about to hear so he flippantly replied "Yeah well, I've been told I'm a bit of a block head so why don't you just go ahead and tell me 'what I should have known all along'"

Tommy didn't know what to hope for, if he had been right then he'd been betrayed by the two people he trusted more than anyone in the world, in a way he could never have imagined but if he was wrong then he was the one who had betrayed their friendship.

"I can't believe you think so little of me!" Jasons eyes blazed with anger as he stormed towards Tommy The gap between the two men was now mere inches and Jason stared into the eyes before him and didn't recognise the emotions he saw flooding them

"Look me in the eyes and tell me that you really need me to say this"

Tommy steadied his breathing and pushed out his chest as his heartbeat sounded in his ears, he had a feeling he knew what was coming but he was unsure how he was going to react to it.

"Say it" He replied whilst releasing a deep breath slowly. Jason simply shook his head- saddened that it had come to this, but Tommy wasn't about to back down. "SAY IT!"

His booming voice relit the anger in Jason that had propelled him forward and now had him invading Tommys personal space

"YOU WERE WRONG!"

The fiery admission hung in the black, night air with neither man speaking, or moving…or breathing, both unsure as to what was coming next

Tommys breath eventually found its way out in short, ragged puffs as he struggled to grasp the meaning of Jasons words and the consequences of his actions. His eyes dropped to the ground as he searched for some kind of acceptance but all he found was white fury.

Looking up at Jason again, he clenched his teeth before managing to speak

"You aren't together?"

"YOU. SHOULD. HAVE. KNOWN. THAT" Jason accentuated each word by jabbing a finger into Tommys chest and Tommy stumbled back a couple of steps although not from the force of Jasons finger but from the force of his words.

Unconsciously running his hands through his loose hair Tommy felt as though there was nobody left in the world but him, he was surrounded by darkness and his whole world was spinning away from him. He turned his back on Jason momentarily. He couldn't think straight, he couldn't make sense of anything… he'd been so sure!

The things he'd said…the things he'd done!

Spinning back towards Jason, Tommy threw both hands onto his chest and send him flying backwards

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!"

Quickly picking himself back up Jason almost ran in Tommys direction

"What have I done?! You're the one who wouldn't listen!"

Both men were chest to chest again, white hot fury ripping through both of their souls

"You've been playing games with me… you knew what I thought and you played me" Each word that Tommy seethed was slow and deliberate because with each one he was attempting to make sense of this horrendous situation.

"I told you in the gym"

"You've been messing with my head, all those sly smiles and winks in my direction when you were with Kim…What was it Jase, wishful thinking?" Tommys cruel words were an attempt to goad Jason by mocking his feelings for Kimberly, but Jason just lifted his chin higher and replied

"I was trying to teach you a lesson …"

"Yeah? well I'm about 2 seconds away from teaching you a lesson of my own" Tommy pushed his chest out further, an action that Jason mirrored

"Oh I'll fight you man, just try me!"

Smiling, Tommy shook his head

"Sure you would, then you'd go running to Kim right? Tell her how horrible Tommy beat you up"

Jason plastered a smile onto his own face

"I thought you didn't care what Kim thought anymore. You're so in love with Katherine these days- right Tommy? You talk about playing games but you're just playing everybody"

Stepping away from Jason, Tommys whole demeanour changed in a heartbeat. His squared shoulders slumped slightly and his gaze was again trailing along the ground. "You were my best friend" his voice was quieter and filled with the emotion that just seconds ago had been burning as anger

"You were the one that forgot it- not me"

"You lied to me!"

"I never told you that Kim and I were together"

The anger was ebbing away from both mens voice and was slowly being replaced by guilt and regret, as they stood a few feet apart, just staring at each other

"You knew what I thought Jason, you even knew why I thought it and you said nothing…"

"I tried"

"YOU DIDN'T TRY HARD ENOUGH" Tommy voice was rising again as he threw questions and accusations at Jason in an attempt to discover the truth and the reasons behind it

"YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN"

"YOU SHOULD HAVE MADE ME LISTEN"

"And you should have just trusted me" The quietness of Jasons final sentence resonated through both men and Tommys haunted whisper of a reply…

"You should have known that after Kim I couldn't trust anybody" Removed the last traces of anger from the faces of both men

"I can't even trust myself anymore" Tommys eyes flew up to meet Jasons as he continued. "Do you know what I've done…what I've become? When I saw you with Kim, I thought I'd lost everything, I wanted to lose myself, I wanted to not feel like me anymore. When Kim finds out, she's going to hate me"

Tommys eyes were red with emotion and Jason could tell he was nearing breaking point.

"Kim could never hate you" came his softly spoken reply but an anger ripped through Tommys soul at the mention of her name

"WHY CAN'T I JUST HATE HER, WHY CAN'T I JUST SCREAM AT HER TO GET OUT OF MY LIFE AND MEAN IT?!" Running both hands through his tangled hair Tommy seriously considered pulling it out in despair.

"Tommy, you don't have to be so angry"

"If I'm not angry then what am I Jason, hu? I'm still the same guy who finds it hard to think straight when she's around, I'm the same guy that would gladly sacrifice his life at any moment to save hers, the guy that goes to bed thinking about her and wakes up having spent all night dreaming about her. I can't be that guy anymore"

"Why not?" A sincere smile slid over Jasons lips "I knew that guy, and I kind of liked him"

"Because that guy was an idiot, he couldn't see what was going on right in front of his own face. I might as well have just ripped out my own heart and handed it to her"

"Kimberly wants to talk to you Tommy, that's why she came back here"

"I don't want to hear it"

"Maybe you need to hear it"

"MAYBE I CAN'T"

"MAYBE YOU HAVE TO"

It was all too much for Tommy, he was suffering from information overload. The consequences of his actions were weighing heavy on him and he felt like he was suffocating.

Pulling in the deepest breath he could he turned and slammed his hand into the red brick wall of The Rum Barrell- his yell of both physical and emotional pain rang out through the car park and pulling his car keys from his pocket he headed as far away from anywhere as he could get

_***Okay, confrontation number 1... I loved writing it so I hope you enjoy it**_


	21. No going back

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**

***This chapter was posted then removed due to underlining problems AGAIN! Hope it didn't spoil any bodies enjoyment of it x (thanks Bored-Girl-84)**

**CHAPTER 21**

Killing the engine of his car, Tommy Oliver closed his eyes and took some deep breaths, he longed for a sense of calmness to embrace his being and allow him some thinking space but all he found was sickening regret and panic.

Slamming his clenched fists down on the centre of the steering wheel he attempted to release some of the emotion that had been consuming him for well over a year.

Kimberly…

His parents…

The mess he'd made of things with Jason and Katherine…

Reaching across to the passenger seat he collected the brown paper bag and then threw open the door before exiting his car and heading into the heavy night air.

The forest he was cutting his way through was dense and you could easily find your self lost if you didn't know your way, but lucky for Tommy he'd been coming here for years and knew the track like the back of his hand.

After a few close encounters with tree roots Tommy found himself and his precious cargo in one piece and standing just where he needed to be… the small wood cabin where he had always come when he needed to find peace, and my God, he needed peace tonight.

Finding the key to the front door on his key chain wasn't an easy task in the darkness but he eventually found the one that fit and threw the door open, once inside he slammed it shut on the world before dropping his key chain and the paper bag onto the small sofa and dropping himself heavily onto the floor in front of it, hugging his knees to his chest.

His breathing was ragged as a thousand thoughts tore at his mind and sobs began heaving in his chest but he just hugged his legs tighter

"What have I done?" His words came out in small, short breaths as he lifted his head from its resting place and pushed his hair from his face angrily.

Catching sight of his cut knuckles, he gazed at his wounded hand with a morbid curiosity, the cuts were deep and it hurt to straighten out his fingers. Reaching behind him Tommy found the paper bag and pulled it onto his lap. Opening the top he pulled out it's contents- a bottle of whiskey and unscrewing the cap of it he took a swig before splashing some down on to his wounded hand and willing physical pain to relieve him of his emotional pain.

It worked too, for about 5 seconds as the alcohol seared his bloodied knuckles but as soon as the pain subsided it all came flooding back to him and he felt himself being dragged back under.

Taking another swig of whiskey, Tommy pushed his hair back from his face and cursed its inability to ever stay where he put it.

How had he ended up here… like this?

How had his life taken so many wrong turns in such a short period of time that he'd lost his grasp on everything…including himself. He didn't know who he was anymore, all he knew was that he wasn't who everyone else thought he was anymore.

Good old Tommy Oliver- you can always rely on him to do the right thing-WRONG

Tommy Oliver- always makes the right decisions- WRONG

Your parents must be so proud of you- Parents? What parents?!

Mistakes- both his and other peoples had proved the undoing of his solid character, they'd sent him into a spinning decline and he prayed that tonight he had hit rock bottom because if this wasn't it, he didn't know if he could withstand anymore.

Smoothing out his hair, Tommy felt an anger growing that was so familiar to himnow that it was beginning to feel like his only source of comfort. Pushing himself to his feet Tommy stomped from room to room, his soul blazing but with nothing and nobody to direct his anger at except himself.

Throwing open the door to the bedroom Tommy suddenly caught sight of himself in the wall mirror.

Walking slowly towards it he felt tears stinging, as he finally saw the consequences of every bodies actions behind his own eyes.

Every girl he had ever dated had told him that that his eyes were his best feature but tonight he would bet a hundred dollars that if any girl he had dated could see them now, they would run screaming from him.

It wasn't the fact that they were red and swollen from all the tears he was attempting to hold back, it was the haunted, emptiness of them. Usually they were chocolate pools of emotion but tonight the shine had gone from them, the brown was matt and they were void of all signs of life. Dead- like the eyes of a shark.

Suddenly the room seemed to be filled with light and Tommys spirit felt a hundred times lighter.

The most beautiful giggle he'd ever heard filled his ears as his mind was taken back through time. He remembered standing in this room, in front of this mirror as Kimberly sat on the bed laughing happily. It had been only a few hours since they had gained control of their ninja powers and they were both in high spirits, so much so that Tommy had allowed Kim to tie a little braid in the front of his hair. He'd stood in front of this very mirror admiring her handy work and she'd been so proud of it that he had even worn it to Bulk and Skulls graduation ceremony from the Junior Police Patrol- just to make her happy- even though he'd taken a pretty good ribbing from both of them after wards.

Just as suddenly as it had come, the light faded away and Tommy found himself standing alone in his uncles cabin. The loneliness that he'd walked with since receiving Kims letter now merging with what seemed like his eternal anger.

Raising a hand and touching his hair where the braid had once resided, he realised just how weighed down he felt by it, it was thick and dark and it felt heavy to him.

What had started off as an imitation of some of his favourite martial artists now seemed out of control it defined him! He was recognised by everyone for the length of his hair. It seemed almost as though his second name had been changed from Tommy Oliver to Tommy With The Long Hair.

Taking it in his hands he wondered if he could redefine himself by simply losing the feature that seemed to define him most. His lips curled into a sick smile as he imagined the dark curtain falling to the ground and revealing him to be a new man, one who wasn't weighed down by history…or hair!

The memory of small hands lovingly pulling, and tying his hair played again in his mind and he swung round and headed out of the room, away from memories that continued to tear at him.

Returning to the living room he was bombarded with images of him and Kimberly play fighting. He had eaten the last of the popcorn when Kim had taken a bathroom break and on her return she had feigned annoyance which had sparked the best play fight of his life!

Spinning backwards into the bedroom he slammed the door behind him and the tears that had been threatening to overcome him all night made their break for freedom. Wiping them away angrily Tommy suddenly dropped to his knees, small sobs escaping as he frantically hunted under the bed for something.

Wrapping his fingers around the cool metal, he knew he had found what he was looking for and knew that once he took this step he couldn't go back.

Was there anything to go back to?

Returning to his place before the mirror Tommy lifted the scissors to the left side of his parting and brought the blades together, over and over as his tears fell over and over…

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sitting silently in his car staring at the white, stone building before him, Tommy wondered if this would turn out to be one more mistake to add to his list

He felt empty…hollow like there was nothing left that anyone would recognise as him and usually when he felt this hopeless he turned to the one person that would allow him to lose himself in her further…Katherine. She offered him comfort in a physical way and that seemed to be enough because Tommy had long ago lost hope of ever feeling comfort from his emotional torment.

Now was his last chance to turn back, but it seemed like tonight- there was no going back.

Pulling up the hood on the green, black and white hooded sweatshirt he had found discarded at his uncles cabin, Tommy wiped his eyes before exiting the stairs and heading up the steps.

Navigating the corridors he finally found what he was looking for- room 57

Taking the deepest breath he could he raised his un-bloodied hand and tapped gently

There was no sound at first and he suddenly wondered if she was back from Adams night out, Tapping again he was just about to turn and leave when he heard someone softly padding towards the door. His heartbeat quickened, knowing his appearance might startle her. He didn't know if he'd be able to bare it if she looked at him with disgust. He knew his eyes were red and swollen and then there was his hair… he self consciously pulled his hood up further, hoping he would get the chance to explain before she noticed it.

The sound of the door unlocking made him feel queasy with nerves, and as it opened he leaned against the frame, the affect of the alcohol suddenly causing him to feel dizzy.

A look of non-recognition was the first to register and then one of shock , followed his name being whispered shakily.

He opened his mouth to speak but it was suddenly more dry than a desert.

"Tommy is that you?" tears filled her eyes as she observed the state of the man she loved, causing his eyes to flood again

"Kimberly…you have to help me"


	22. The calm

_**DISCLAIMER- I own nothing**__._

_*Okay, so this is where I'm at, these last few chapters have been posted pretty quickly because I knew exactly what I wanted and I felt like I achieved it, but now I feel like I'm at a crossroad, I can either go down the quick road- where the story can be brought to an end relatively quickly (once I tie up all the loose ends) or I can take the longer road but I'm worried I'll get repetitive or drag things out so it might be a while before I update. I just have some decisions to make but if it all comes to me in a flash of clarity the next chapter will be up faster than you can say '3 chapters in one week' . Thanks for your support and I hope you enjoy this chapter- you probably wont be expecting what happens x _

**CHAPTER 21**

I don't know how it happened, it certainly wasn't a conscious decision that I made, all I know is one minute I was stood there looking at Tommy, both of us with tears in our eyes and the next minute, my arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and I'm hugging him as though my life depends on it, hugging him as tightly as I can, just hoping that I can suffocate all the hurt that I've caused him.

He doesn't return my hug immediately- in fact I feel him make a half hearted attempt to pull away but I'm not budging and eventually, I feel his strong arms wrap around my waist in a way that I never thought they would again.

Tears are now streaming down my face and I occasionally feel his chest heave as I hold him close to me.

What have I done?!

To Tommy…

To us…

To myself?

Slowly my hand works its way his neck and cradles the back of his head which is covered by the hood of a sweater I haven't seen him wear in years, the absence of the familiar bump of his ponytail makes my blood run cold. I feel his body tense as he releases me from his embrace and steps inside my motel room.

Pushing the door shut and standing with both palms pressed against it- I try to steady myself… preparing myself. This isn't going to be easy but things that are worth doing rarely are.

I'm tired and emotional, my tears upon seeing Tommy in such a desolate state prove that I crumble easily these days, but he asked me for help so I'm going to have to toughen up and do what I told Jason I would do and that's put Tommy first.

Turning slowly I face him, silently he had moved across my motel room and is now sitting on the edge of the bed, he's looking at the knuckles of his right hand and I don't have to see the dried blood to know that he's hit something… hard.

Evening out my breathing I take tentative steps towards him, he never looks up, he just continues to play with what I can see now are cut and bloodied knuckles… I just hope it wasn't Jason on the other end of them.

Reaching down I take hold of Tommys wounded hand and inspect it closely for serious damage, he looks up at me in surprise but doesn't utter a word, I just smile softly at him and satisfied the damage is mostly superficial, I return his hand to his lap.

I'm standing just a yard or so in front of him and it warms my memory to remember how he used to tease me about how sitting down, he's almost as tall as I am standing up.

He's still gazing silently into my eyes as I reach both hands up and place them either side of his cotton hood, immediately though his large hands shoot up to cover mine, his eyes now begging me not to go any further.

"Tommy, it's okay" I tell him in the softest voice I own.

His eyes and hands cling to mine a second longer and then he releases them.

I think I know what's coming and I know Tommy doesn't want me to see… he's probably nervous of how I'll react, but if I'm really going to help him there needs to be no more barriers between us because believe me, there are enough of them already. Holding a breath in my chest and attempting to control my trembling hands I slowly peel back the hood and it takes every ounce of strength that I have not to start crying again.

My handsome Tommy… my proud warrior, the man who once joked that his strength as a ranger came not from the morphing grid but from his long hair has cut it all off in what I can only assume is some kind of attempt to change the inside by changing the outside. It's obvious from the way that it's been cut that this wasn't a planned trip to the barbers shop and he's obviously self conscious about it because he hasn't raised his eyes from the floor since I pulled down the hood.

Lifting my hand I slowly run it over his head. His eyes lift immediately to meet mine, I say nothing and I never once break our gaze as I continue to stroke his head, hoping that somehow it will soothe his obviously battered soul.

How much of this am I responsible for?

I'm not arrogant enough to think that a man as strong as Tommy would be brought crashing to his knees simply by my betrayal but I know I at best unsteadied the ship.

My attempt to help him onto an even keel starts tonight

"Kimberly…" My name escapes his lips so naturally that I wonder how I ever thought I'd be able to live without hearing it. I can tell he's struggling to find the words to explain the situation to me so I decide to take the lead… as has always been our way.

"It's a good job you only had scissors and not a razor blade. It's not too short though, I can tidy it up if you like and with a little bit of gel and you could have spikes… it'll be cute"

"I don't want to be cute" The emptiness of Tommys voice will haunt my dreams for a long time to come, but I'm being 'Big, Brave Kim' so I smile at him and joke…

"That's a conversation you should have had with God before he made you, because believe me, there's not a thing you can do about it now"

Again I reach down and take a hold of his damaged hand and a warmth spreads through me that has always been reserved only for the feel of Tommys skin on mine

"I'll go and get the first aid box, wait here ok, I'll be right back"

Once I've located it I head back into the living area and sit down next to Tommy, not too close so he feels uncomfortable but close enough that I can tend to his hand. Taking hold of it I start to clean the dried blood with the damp cloth.

Since saying my name Tommys fallen back into his own silent world so I go for an ice breaker

"Aren't you going to tell me that I should see the other guy?"

It's possible I've just seen a hint of a smile on Tommys face but I can't be sure

"…Tell me the other guy wasn't Jason"

His whole body goes solid as he looks into my eyes

"I didn't fight Jason"

I smile in relief before broaching the subject of tonight

"But you guys talked, right?"

"What did he tell you?"

I know honesty is the only policy if I stand a chance of regaining Tommys trust

"He told me he had been a bad friend and was going to talk to you about things, when you took off from the club like that I figured things hadn't gone well. Tommy, Jason's a great guy if he upset you I'm sure it wasn't on purpose"

I finish fastening the bandage I've just applied and I squeeze his hand to let him know that I'm all done. Placing both hands onto his thighs he sighs as though he's ready to start talking

"Jason and I both made some mistakes, seems I've been getting pretty good at that lately"

"Can you work things out?"

A solitary shrug is his only response

"I'm sorry for just turning up here"

I attempt a look that tells him that he doesn't need to apologise… for anything

"I can't imagine how this must look to you"

Smiling again I tell him it looks as though he could use a friend and as a yawn, that I'd noticed him trying to fight finally escapes I add "And some sleep". He blushes slightly before apologising again.

"Do you want to talk? It doesn't have to be about us, just about anything- you decide"

He looks in deep thought before saying…

"I cut my hair (!)"

"Really(?)…" I play along "And I didn't even notice… my gosh, how stupid do I feel?"

The laugh that bursts from my chest immediately reminds me of how easy things always were between us before I… unable to keep It in any longer I start babbling my apologies

"Tommy, I'm so sorry for everything, please believe me, you have no idea how terrible I feel about everything I did"

"Kim, this.." He looks down at his hand and then blushes slightly and I assume he is thinking about what he did to his hair. "It's not just about you. There's been a lot of stuff going on lately and I guess I… I haven't been dealing"

He sighs heavily and I can smell alcohol on his breath, I wonder if his sudden appearance and newly found openness is a result of 'Dutch Courage' but I decide it doesn't matter, all that matters is he came to me.

"I know we need to talk…about us and what happened, I know I've been running from it for long enough but please… not tonight. I don't think I could take another yelling match tonight"

I feel my brows lower in confusion. From the minute Tommy got here I had assumed that he was here for the confrontation that we were both knew we needed to have, but apparently he wasn't, which left one question… why had he chosen to come to me?

What did he want from me?

"Can we just… pretend that none of this has happened"

Now my brows are shooting north as I wonder what on earth he means by that

"I don't mean, act like things are the same, I just mean… act like things aren't as bad. We'll talk tomorrow but until then can you just help me to forget?"

It suddenly dawns on me what he means. Tomorrow we'll talk, tomorrow we'll tell each other everything we've been holding back. We both know it'll be awful, we both know it's going to hurt but tonight Tommy's asking me for calm.

"Kind of like the calm before the storm huh?

"Exactly" And this time that is a smile on his face

I think about it for a little while.

Can I do it?… Can I spend a night with Tommy after spending a year of my life without him and act like nothing has happened?

Can I do it knowing that come tomorrow, words may be spoken that could see Tommy walking out of my life forever?

Could I spend tonight with him and then let him walk away?

Could I say no now and watch him walk out anyways?

"Tommy, I don't know if I can do this" I can tell he understands immediately "but I want to try… for you"

He smiles and for the first time tonight I can see a glimmer of the Tommy I knew and loved… eternally 'love'

I shift awkwardly, unsure what the next move is and Tommy yawns again- he's obviously had a long day

"You can lay down if you like" I motion towards the bed and something I'm unsure of crosses his face "Well, you've been drinking right? So you can't drive home tonight. Have the bed, I'll have the couch"

Running a hand over his new hair-do he tells me that he can't ask me to give up my bed, I tell him there's no way he would fit onto the tiny, two seater sofa.

Shrugging, Tommy kicks off his black boots and pushes himself back, till his back is resting against the head board and his long legs are stretched out on the bed.

He looks relaxed, and I can slowly see my Tommy reclaiming this tired body.

"Do you remember when we went to Australia?" His eyes are stuck fast on me and I feel like I could be blushing. "I lost time of the number of times my parents said 'No girls in your hotel room' before we left" His eyelids are getting heavy and occasionally they drop shut.

I smile at the memory, the time we spent in Australia was some of the most magical that Tommy and I spent together as a couple. The 'No girls in his hotel room' rule had been upheld, unfortunately the 'No boys in your hotel room' rule placed on me by my mother had not. Nothing had ever happened 'like that' but we'd spent a lot of time snuggling and I know I'm blushing at that memory.

"It was the best vacation of my life" it comes out in a whisper and I feel the tears again- Not tonight! Tonight I have to try and pretend that this is okay

"I've missed your voice"

Tommys unexpectedly sweet words catch me off guard and as our eyes catch, an electricity moves through the room and I know without doubt that I will never be attracted to any guy the way I am to him. Unable to control myself again words spill over my lips that I pray I wont regret later

"I've missed you every day" His tired eyes widen and a small smile lifts his beautiful mouth but he doesn't say a word.

"Remember in Australia, after the whole wedding thing, I didn't sleep very well, the only time I did was when you sang"

"I know, I have a boring voice but hey, at least it worked, you were really exhausted… we all were"

"…Just like I am now"

Shocked silence fills the room

"Are you asking me to sing for you?"

"I just want to remember how it felt. It seems like I haven't felt anything but down or angry for so long"

I take a deep breath and consider what he's asking of me. I know he came to me in search of some kind of peace tonight. As far as I can see he's reached rock bottom and now he's crawling around on the bottom looking for a way out.

He'd asked me to help him, I owed him that

But could I put myself through this?

Could I do something now that I'd done as such a tender act of affection for the man I loved more than I ever thought was possible? I know in my heart that I still feel the same but back then he was mine and now, we're barely speaking, yet here he is asking me to sing…which to me is like sharing part of my soul.

Can I do it and if I can- should I?

I know we're just fooling ourselves tonight , playing a game of 'Lets Pretend' and I know that tomorrow I'm at risk of losing him forever. If this is to be our last time together don't I owe it to myself to at least try and make him see how Istill feel about him? He doesn't want to talk and that's fine but maybe a song would be the best way to 'say something' without really saying it, and there was one song I wrote, right after I returned to Florida following the whole turning evil and trying to kill him thing

I look across at Tommy and see him fighting to keep his eyes open"

"Okay" says 'Big, Brave Kim "But it's a song I wrote so if you think it's terrible-don't laugh"

"If I fall asleep don't think that I think it's terrible"

"Deal" I tell him before standing up and moving around the bed to sit on the edge, facing him. "But you've got to close you eyes and try and sleep"

"Deal"

My heart begins to pound as I prepare to sing out my soul to the man in my bed- my only love in 20 years of life. This song is fiercely personal I just hope he understands

I hope this sounds ok, I hope my voice doesn't give way to tears

_**Notice me **_

_**Take my hand**__.._

His eyes flutter open and lock onto mine. Courage don't fail me now

_**Why are we **_

_**Strangers when **_

_**Our love is strong **_

_**Why carry on without me? **_

He's staring into my eyes as I sing and I feel a bubble growing in my chest, it's the bubble I felt the first time I laid eyes on him. His short hair makes him look young and vulnerable and I realise I want to protect him with every piece of me for the rest of my life

_**Every time I try to fly **_

_**I fall without my wings **_

_**I feel so small **_

_**I guess I need you baby **_

The bubble is propelling me to act and as I sing, I gently reach out my hand and stroke his hair, unconsciously telling him that it's okay that he did it and that I actually do like it. His eyelids drop shut beneath my touch

_**I make believe **_

_**That you are here **_

_**It's the only way **_

_**I see clear **_

_**What have I done **_

_**You seem to move on easy **_

He's fighting to stay awake, I can tell by the way his eyelids keep dropping and lifting, each time I can see it's taking him more and more effort to open them but I think he's trying to listen to the lyrics, I think he knows it's about us.

Does he know it's my apology?

_**I may have made it rain **_

_**Please forgive me **_

_**My weakness caused you pain **_

_**And this song is my sorry**_

…He does now

I've never seen anyone look more handsome when they sleep in my entire life and as I bend down and kiss his cheek goodnight there's only one thing going through my mind- no matter what happens tomorrow, I am not losing you Tommy Oliver… I can't.

***The song used is Everytime by Britney Spears, again i think it would make a great vid on YouTube but i'm yet to see one that does it justice. This was definatley the calm before the storm and i hope you enjoyed it x**


	23. Confrontation day part 1

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**

*I was at a crossroads and I was stressing about making the right decision when I realised that from the beginning the story has pretty much written its self and people seem to like it so I decided just to go with it. If it feels too drawn out I'm sorry and if it ends too soon I am also sorry x Enjoy!

**CHAPTER 23**

Pacing back and forth across the width of her hotel room, Kimberly Hart didn't know whether to laugh, cry or commit murder!

Last night had been so unreal and unexpected that Kim had woken up this morning and half expected to find out that it had all been a dream.

After easing herself up on her less then comfortable resting place Kimberlys eyes had blearily scanned the room for signs that she was not alone. It was an attempt to reassure herself that the nightmares that had caused her to doubt her own reality had not begun to effect her sanity.

The empty bed had done nothing to ease her worries.

Pushing herself to her feet Kim had called out Tommys name, but the early morning stillness remained eerily silent.

Marching into the bathroom, she had found the one and only sign that last night hadn't been a figment of her imagination- the toilet seat was up!

Pacing across the royal blue carpet with a dizzying cream pattern Kim stared out of the small window that over looked Angel Grove lake, and struggled to work out what to do for the best.

Part of her wanted to hunt Tommy Oliver down and scream abuse at him until her throat bled. How dare he just turn up the way he had last night only to leave this morning without uttering one word of thanks, and what about the conversation they were going to have?!

The other, more fragile part of Kim felt so dejected and humiliated though that it just wanted her to pack her bags and run as far away from Tommy as she could, and hopefully she would find the strength to stay there this time.

How could she have been so foolish as to treat her own feelings as though they didn't matter just to soothe the ego of a drunk man?!

She had sung him her soul whilst gently stroking his face in an attempt to make up for past mistakes and when he'd looked into her eyes whilst her melodic voice had filled the empty spaces between them she'd felt so sure that he knew her words were meant only for him, and yet here he was…gone, and she was left with this cold, empty feeling that there would not be a final resolution to this horrible mess.

The darkness that clung to Kims heart brought with it a mist of hopelessness, one she was sure she'd walk with for as long as she and Tommy were apart but this time she was surprised to find that her eyes remained dry.

One thing was clear in Kims mind though, and it was that she had absolutely no intention of packing her bags and running this time because this time she was ready for the fight- whether Tommy was or not, she didn't care. He'd pushed her too far and now he was going to get the truth he had been hiding from and Kim wasn't in the mood to do it the gentle way.

Dropping heavily onto the bed, she reached for her small, silver mobile phone and scrolled through the list of contacts until she found her target. Hitting the 'Call' button she waited patiently until the sleepy voice of Rocky DeSantos whined her name down the line

"Sorry it's so early" She heard him stifle a yawn and then in true Rocky style he replied

"Just buy me breakfast sometime- feeding me is the best way to say you're sorry"

After promising that she would, Kimberly got straight to the point

"Is Tommy home?"

"Yeah oh and Kim- you should see his 'do' you're really going to freak" Kim didn't mention that she had already seen Tommys 'do' for fear of a torrent of questions that she wasn't in the mood to answer so instead she just played along

"I guess I'll see it soon then coz I'm coming over"

"How come?"

"I'm going to yell at Tommy" It was the only thing that she could guarantee at the moment

"Cool, I'll get up now and let you in"

"Thanks, oh and don't tell him I'm coming over he has a habit of disappearing these days"

Once Rocky had promised that he wouldn't, Kim thanked him and hung up.

Whilst crossing the room once more, this time towards her wardrobe, Kim spotted the figure of a tall, blond woman walking along the beach. Stopping at the window, she looked a little closer… just to make sure.

Sure enough- it was Katherine, walking solemnly along the sand and gone were the heels and mini skirt that had become her signature look. In their place were a pair of dark blue shorts and a pale pink, v-neck t-shirt, Kim was immediately taken back to the first days they'd spent as friends, or at least she had believed they were becoming friends.

Watching Kat drop onto the sand and then hug her knees to her chest it was obvious that she had a lot on her mind. Kim didn't need to guess what it was, because he was on her mind too!

Collecting some clothes from her wardrobe she headed towards the bathroom. Tommy had definitely gone too far. Sure, she'd made mistakes but he'd just made the biggest mistake of his life.

**40 MINUTES LATER- TOMMYS APARTMENT**

Staring into the mirror, Tommy Oliver barely recognised himself… and his lack of hair wasn't the reason!

He couldn't remember the last time he'd seen that sparkle in his eyes, and the pinkness in his cheeks made him look more alive than he'd felt in a long time.

What had happened to him?

Less than 12 hours ago he had felt like he had hit rock bottom and then just kept on falling, but standing alone in his bedroom the sparks of excitement that kept ripping through his stomach had brought with them some weird kind of optimism- the kind that had been missing from his life for what felt like forever.

The sparks of excitement were rivalled only by the nauseating waves of fear that kept rising and falling within him.

Last night had been so surreal and just the thought of it sent electricity pulsing through his body. Part of him wanted to just lock himself away in his room and spend the rest of his life reliving last night.

Kims words… the feel of her hand stroking his head…soothing his soul and that song- it had meant for him he was sure of it.

How was it possible that after everything she had done she still had the ability to make him feel like this?

A wave of nausea rolled over him as his mind started to explore what it all meant, to him… Kimberly… Katherine! Everything was such a mess, but one thing was for sure- someone was going to get hurt and Tommy wasn't sure how much more hurt he could take.

Today was confrontation day and the excitement and nausea were all rolling into one as the realisation took hold that today was the day that his life changed forever.

Still staring at his reflection and lost in his own thoughts, Tommy didn't hear the knock at his front door or the sound of Rockys cheerful greeting, he didn't even hear the footsteps moving down his hallway, getting closer and closer. The first thing Tommy Oliver knew about anything was when his bedroom door was thrown open and a very beautiful but very angry Kimberly Hart stood in his door way.

Turning in surprise, Tommy couldn't stop the smile that crept across lips at the sight of Kim standing there wearing the burgundy spaghetti strapped top and blue denim shirt she'd picked out earlier with calf length brown leather boots- she looked amazing, but the tightness of her jaw and the way her lips were pursed together told him that his disappearing act hadn't gone down well.

He had just opened his mouth to make his explanation when Kimberly unleashed her fury, humiliation and embarrassment at him, all at once

"You used me!"

Tommys forehead automatically crumpled at the accusation

"You knew how terrible I felt about what I did and you used me! Turning up at my motel room with your big stupid eyes and your 'Help me Kim' you knew I was so desperate to make things okay that I would fall for it. So did you creep out this morning so you could call Katherine? Did you tell her how easy it was to suck me in, did you tell her what I did?!"

Kimberlys hand shot up and covered her mouth as the awful thought hit her… "Did you tell her what I did?! The song… I bet you two are just having the biggest laugh at me right now aren't you?!"

Tommy, for his part, stood shocked to the spot. He'd expected Kimberly to be upset with him for disappearing like he had and he understood that it was her insecurities speaking but unfortunately he had long ago lost the ability to keep his own temper in check and he could feel the fire rising

"I can't believe you fooled me so easily, when I think about how you've treated me since I got back and then all it took was one nice word and I'm massaging your ego like an idiot and you couldn't even hang around long enough to say 'Gottcha! God, how pathetic am I?" Kims finger struck out in his direction and the volume of her voice increased dramatically as she yelled "How pathetic have you made me?!"

Crossing his arms over the stripy hooded sweatshirt that he hadn't had time to change out of, Tommys voice came out low and steady

"Is that what you really think of me?"

Kims voice almost matched his for depth as she seethed…

"Believe me Tommy, you do not want to know what I think of you right now"

"Sure I do, come on Kim, why don't you tell me what you really think, be honest with me for once"

Crossing her own arms over her chest Kimberlys words came out in uncontrollable torrents

"I think you're cold and cruel, you're selfish and thoughtless and believe me, if I'd known that this was who you were now I wouldn't have wasted all that time worrying about you and I definitely wouldn't have subjected myself to the ordeal by coming back here"

The temper that Tommy had just about been able to keep hold of was once again lost and as his words hit the air he realised the confrontation that he had spent a year running from was now full swing. Walking calmly past Kim he pushed the door shut before standing with his back to it and forcing Kimberly to step further into the room

"You were worrying about me huh, and when the hell did you have time to do that because from what I can tell you were too busy training and cheating and practising your letter writing skills"

"Yeah? Well from what I've heard you were too busy skiing and picking up girls to give a damn anyways!"

"Is that why you're upset, because you think I didn't sit around moping over you for long enough? At least I had the decency to wait until we were finished- you couldn't even wait that long, you just went to Florida and fell for the first guy that smiled at you"

Kims arms fell to her sides as she stared into the face of her ex-boyfriend

"It wasn't like that, nothing happened until after I sent the letter"

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Its supposed to make you feel something!" The loudness of Kims voice resonated around the room and for a second neither person said anything or moved a muscle and then as if in slow motion Tommy unfolded his arms and stuffed his hands into his pockets. The hurt evident in his dark eyes

"You think I don't feel anything, Are you out of your mind?"

Kim knew that her next statement could and would be classed as hypocritical but the thought had been eating away at her ever since she had clashed with Katherine at the mall

"We were together for almost three years Tommy, and it took you just four days to forget about that"

"You're the one who threw it away like it meant nothing- what did you want me to do Kimberly, sit around for the rest of my life hoping you'd change your mind? You come around here yelling at me about being cold and thoughtless but tell me- when was the last time you thought about anyone but yourself, when was the last time you thought about me?!"

Tears filled Kims eyes and threatened to kill her resolve not to cry today. Tommy already knew how weak she was, the last thing she needed was to prove it by crying in front of him

"Do you think I would have come back here to face this if I was thinking about myself? If I'd had any sense I would have stayed as far away as possible… but I couldn't"

The emotion was thick on Kims voice but she managed to hold back the tears as she continued

"The sad thing is that last night I really felt like we connected again, like maybe there was a way out of this mess and when you said you were ready for us to talk I believed you, I thought we were making progress- you made me think that and it was a lie. Now can you please move? I've said what I came to say and now I'm leaving"

Slowly walking past Kimberly, Tommy headed towards his neatly made bed where he bent over and picked something up

Kims hand was on the brass handle and she was preparing to turn it and walk out of Tommys life for ever as he spoke her name. Turning around she saw him walking towards her, this time he had a small, brown paper bag in his hands.

Forcing the parcel from his hands to hers their faces were inches apart as he said

"I just came home to change Kimberly- I was coming back"

The air caught tight in Kimberlys throat as he turned the handle and without saying another word exited the room.

Looking down at the small soft parcel in her hands Kimberly smelt it before she saw it. Unwrapping the bag gently the tears began because lying beneath the crinkled brown paper was a cranberry and pumpkin seed muffin… her favourite.

The tears poured as she remembered the number of times Tommy had turned up at the gym after a training session, the sweet treat hidden in his backpack. He would then walk her home to get ready for school. She had treasured those long walks, feasting on her favourite breakfast and planning the day with the man she loved.

Throwing the package back onto the bed Kimberly rushed from the room, the front door of Tommys apartment was now open and as she reached it she saw Tommy disappearing down the alleyway that she knew lead to the beach. Pulling the door behind her Kimberly called out his name and thenran after him as fast as her boots would carry her.

_***Consider this part1 of the confrontation. There's much more to come**_


	24. Confrontation day part 2

**DISCLAIMER:I own nothing**

**CHAPTER 24**

Running across the sand was a harder job than Kimberly had imagined and although she had called out Tommys name a few times he seemed dead set on ignoring her very existance.

"Tommy, Tommy wait up!"

But still Tommy marched on ahead, apparently determined to avoid her and anything she had to say at all costs.

Stopping and picking up a handful of dark, wet sand, Kimberly summoned up all of her strength before launching it in Tommys direction. The wet slap of it hitting him between the shoulder blades and sliding downwards until it hit the curve of his back and returned to its golden home caused Kim to smile in satisfaction… until Tommy spun to face her, his face as dark as she had ever seen it.

"What do you think you're doing?" he yelled whilst attempting to look over his shoulder at Kims handy work

"I was trying to get your attention"

"Yeah, well I'm trying to ignore you so accept defeat, turn around and just leave me the hell alone"

Tommy turned to leave but Kim quickly grabbed hold of his arm

"Tommy, I'm really sorry!"

"What the hell did I ever do to make you think so little of me?"

Tommys face was pink with anger and Kim knew that she had messed up by jumping to conclusions, but they had entered into a slow dance with the truth in Tommys bedroom and no matter how hard she had to fight him, he wasn't just going to walk away from it this time

"Well you haven't exactly been nice to me since I got back here" her words were tentatively spoken, she didn't want to provoke him any further, she couldn't risk that he would walk away again but the evidence of Tommys remaining anger was written all over his face as he responded

"You haven't exactly done anything to deserve for me to be"

"I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions but when I woke up and you were gone I guess I freaked out" Kim was trying to appease him with the truth. Hopefully if he could see how sorry she was for mistrusting him they could move past this mornings set back and move on in their attempt to heal the past. "I thought everything that we had been through last night was for nothing.

Tommy had apparently already forgotten about this morning and moved on to one year earlier

"Like giving three years of your life to someone just to find out it had all been for nothing?"

Kimberly was shaking her head as she said "It wasn't for nothing Tommy, you have to believe that"

"How can I believe a word you say? You couldn't even call me and talk to me about what was going wrong"

The heat had now gone from his voice but the hurt that it held onto hit Kim in the face like a bucket of cold water.

Strengthening her resolve to be one hundred percent honest with Tommy, Kim closed her eyes as she said

"I knew if I spoke to you that I would change my mind"

"And would that have been so bad?"

She knew Tommy was struggling as hard to understand her words as she was to say them but standing on Angel Grove beach, the place where they had shared so many beautiful memories, good times and heartbreakingly sad times so it made sense that this be the location for the conversation that could either set them on the path to finding each other once again or the path that would lead them away from each other forever.

Taking a few deep breaths Kim forged on with the truth

"At the time I thought it would, at the time I thought that not having you in my life at all would be easier than having you half in and half out. I couldn't deal with having you and not being able to be with you, I wanted all or nothing and… I knew that the world needed you more than I did so… I decided on nothing"

Tears filled Kims eyes as she whispered…

"Tommy, I didn't want to lose you"

Tommys voice came out as liquid fire

"All I'm hearing is what you wanted, what you thought and what you could or couldn't deal with. WELL WHAT ABOUT ME KIMBERLY?!"

Tommy jabbed his chest as he yelled into the face of the women who had brought his world crashing down around his feet

"Did you once stop to think about me and how this would effect me?"

She was biting on her lower lip in an attempt to keep control of her emotions and she couldn't bring herself to look up at Tommy, she couldn't bare to see the hurt that covered his beautiful face, a hurt she had caused him

"I knew it would hurt you but I knew that you'd get over it"

The hand that shot out and lifted her chin so that she had no option but to look at him shocked Kim and caused a tiny sob to escape

Their eyes were now locked together, Kims wet with tears and Tommys red with fire

"Well here I am Kim, one year on… do I look like I just 'got over it'?"

"Tommy please…" Her tiny plea caused him to drop his hand "I thought I was doing the right thing- I didn't know that it would feel like this…please…"

Tommy had heard enough, his insides felt like they were knotted together, his mind was swimming in words he couldn't understand. Looking down at Kim, she looked so fragile and her eyes were so full with tears he didn't know how she had managed to hold them back. Part of him just wanted to take hold of her and try and make everything okay but the broken pieces of him wouldn't allow him to move, it weighed him to the spot like an anchor around his heart

When he turned around Kim thought that he was leaving and she didn't know if she had the strength to stop him this time, but to her surprise he just dropped down on the sand and stared out into the blue lake

"You know, if you'd have told me 18 months ago that this would happen to us I would have told you that you were crazy"

Kim simply nodded silently whilst sitting down next to him and hugging her knees into her chest. Not once did either of the former couple look at the other, their own pain proving too overwhelming without seeing the pain of the other

"I thought we were different to everyone else… stronger…special. When everyone told me we were too young to be so serious I didn't listen to them… not once, because I knew in my heart they were wrong, besides it didn't matter- from the minute I saw you I knew there was nothing I could do to change the way I felt, young or not. Do you know how it felt to realise that I was wrong and we really were just the same as every other young couple"

"You weren't wrong Tommy"

The wet sniff that Tommy let out was unmistakable, the tears that had dogged Kimberly for months had now infected him and he turned to face her, completely unashamed of his visible emotion. Raising her head Kim looked deep into his wet eyes and his voice came out in emotion drenched whisper

"I never thought that you could do this to me Kim…to us"

A tear dropped from his eye and started it's journey down his high cheek bones and as though on cue a tear fell from Kims eyes

"It's just… it's always with me- you know? All this time has past and It still… it doesn't hurt any less"

"I don't know how to make this okay Tommy…"

Then as quickly as he had sat down Tommy was back on his feet, wiping his face on his sleeve whilst Kimberly just looked helplessly up at him

"It's too late, this will never be okay, I can never be okay with what's happend"

"You can try!" Kim pushed herself to her feet and stood as close to him as was comfortable "Tommy please, you look at me like I don't know what I've done but I do… believe me" Tears fell but Kim barely noticed as she poured her heart out in what she feared was her last attempt to make Tommy understand

"…Because every time you couldn't sleep for questions eating away at you… I know, and every time your heart broke with desperation and confusion, I know, I know Tommy, because everything I did to you I did to myself" Wiping at her eyes she continued "And I wish I could take it back, I wish I could take back the past but I can't… I can't un-hurt you and I can't unmake my mistakes, I would give up everything I have for the chance but there's no way…"

"Then why'd you do it?"

Kimberly choked back sobs

"I wanted to make you go away…" Reaching out she took hold of Tommys hand and placed it over her heart, she held it there as she spoke "From in here"

"And did it work?" he whispered as they never broke eye contact

"Never" Was her breathy response "No matter what happened or how much time passed… my feelings never changed"

"What am I supposed to do with a comment like that?"

"…Believe it"

The air between them suddenly felt thick with emotion and Tommy gently removed his hand but didn't release Kims, looking down at it and then into her eyes he was just about to speak when a voice that was familiar to them both yet sounded so foreign cut in

"You've got two seconds to take your hands off him before I scratch your eyes out"


	25. Silence is not the way

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**

**CHAPTER 25**

_*** Please don't hate me for this chapter, I always knew that I would write it but bare in mind- this isn't the end**_

As Katherine and I walk along the outskirts of Angel Grove lake, I feel like a man that is leaving his soul behind and as I look over my shoulder at the tiny form of Kimberly now walking in the opposite direction, I realise my soul has been missing for a long time now.

The fight that Katherine had threatened never materialised and I'm thankful for that because the look on her face as she walks silently by my side tells me that she's hurt enough without a public ass kicking to make things worse.

As we continue in the direction of the park I fight every fibre in my body that is telling me to turn around and run after Kimberly, but I know we both need some time out- time to really think about everything that has been said, so I keep moving one foot in front of the other and keep my eyes fixed straight ahead.

The look of hurt that clung to Kats face when she caught me holding Kims hand has brought the reality of everything crashing down around me and as I crawl beneath it all, searching for answers one thing is clear… the more answers I get the less clear everything is becoming.

I can't believe that after everything I've been through this last year with Kimberly I was so close to doing to Katherine what Kim had done to me, because although Kim and I had only just begun the conversation that I'd spent a year running from all it had taken was for her to tell me that her feelings for me hadn't changed and I was teetering on the edge of becoming that guy that I always swore I would never be.

When I took Kims hand in mine, it felt just like it always had and everything she had done… all the pain and the anger she had caused just fell away and it felt as though there was only the two of us left on earth. I'd been drawn to her then as I have been ever since we met, and I had wanted to kiss her more than I had wanted anything in my entire life… to see if it was still there, that feeling that I've only ever got from her.

I don't know if I would have done it, time and events have put a distance between Kim and I that I never thought was possible but the terrible thing is… and it's the reason that my lips have been bound together by silence ever since, If I had kissed her, I don't know that I would have regretted it

I can't imagine ever regretting a second I spend with Kim but I have a girlfriend and no matter what's going on right now I'm thankful that I didn't cross that line, God knows my spirit is tangled in enough confusion without adding to it .

Thankfully Kats sudden appearance threw cold water on any amorous thoughts I may have been having

So here we are… Katherine and I, walking silently past the lake and now stepping onto the grass of Angel Grove park. I know her silence is guarding a million questions and since today is my self proclaimed 'confrontation day' I decide that silence is not the way…

Coming to a stop by one of the park benches I take a seat but Kat just stands there looking at me as though I've grown a second head.

She's adjusting to my lack of hair so I ignore the look and ask her to sit down. She looks around for an escape route and seeing the terrified look on her face I'm suddenly aware of the strain this whole drama between Kim and I is putting on her.

Again I'm hit by the guilt that I feel about my treatment of the person who has done nothing but try to save me from going under. Even though her attempts were in vain I will always be grateful that she cared enough to try

Sitting down opposite to me Kat stretches her arms out and laces her fingers together, she sighs but never raises her eyes to meet mine

"What do you think of my hair?" It's a pointless question but I'm struggling to figure out what to say because i really want to be at home thinking, not talking

"Tanya and I are going shopping later, I'll buy you a couple of hats"

I self consciously run a hand over my short hair and wonder if it really looks that bad that I need a hat… Kim said it looked nice

"I don't need a hat, Rocky's going to trim it and then I'm going to try spikes"

"Rocky is ?!"

She looks less than impressed with my suggestion

"Do you know how many bothers and sisters the guy has? He's practically a qualified barber"

My attempt to lighten the mood falls flat as Katherine finally looks up at me

"Why'd you do it?" Her voice is quiet and I have a split second to decide how much to tell her

"I felt like I needed a change"

"Yeah, well, the grass isn't always greener Tommy"

She doesn't try to hide her double meaning and I don't try to hide the fact I'm purposely ignoring it. I'm keeping away from the subject of Kimberly until I've had time to think about everything that's happened over these last 24 hours.

"And speaking of green, I really wish you'd stop wearing it because it does nothing for your complexion"

I know what she's doing, she's hurt by what she saw earlier and now she's trying to hurt me, but I'm too tired to sit through a character assassination so I cut to the chase

"Katherine, I know you're mad and fair enough you don't like my hair and you don't like my top…"

"Did she do it?"

She sits back and crosses her arms, she's staring me down now, daring me to lie to her.

Today, I don't intend to lie to anyone

"No, I did it. Do you want to talk about things?"

"And what exactly will we talk about Tommy, your self-mutilation…your disappearing act or your public displays of affection with your ex-girlfriend, ex… you know, as in not any more"

I've never seen Katherine look more conflicted and as I look into her face, tense with hurt and fear and anger all I feel is that over powering sense of guilt.

What have I done to the sweet… innocent girl that came into our lives looking for friendship in a strange country. How have I tangled her so tightly in the torn fabric of my life?

I've taken the friendship and support that she has shown me too far, I've turned it into something else, something it should never have been and I've taken her affection and used it in the worst way possible.

I'm slowly realising that I can't just walk away from this mess that I've made. I owe her more than that.

The question is- where the hell does that leave any of us?

"Kat, my hair's no big deal, I needed a change so I cut it"

"We're supposed to be a couple Tommy, we're supposed to consult each other on major decisions"

"It's not a major decision it's just hair"

"Did you talk to her about it?"

"I didn't talk to anyone about it, it's my hair… my decision"

"But you were with her last night weren't you?"

Her eyes drop to the bench and she starts picking at something I can't see.

I take a breath, knowing what I'm about to say will hurt her but knowing that I have to stick to my promise not to lie today

"Yes"

Katherines eyes fly up and catch onto mine and I feel my cheeks have the decency to blush

"You were with her when you didn't even have the decency to call me, do you have any idea how worried I was?!"

The hurt in her voice stings me, no matter my mistakes I never wanted to hurt anyone, the muted blue eyes before me tell me I have failed miserably

"Kat I'm sorry, but nothing happened"

"That doesn't make it okay Tommy"

"nothing is going on"

Standing up and then walking towards me I see the wetness of tears in Kats eyes and I feel totally ashamed of my behaviour.

Placing one hand on the bench and bending so her face is so close to mine I can feel her breath on my cheek as she says

"Maybe nothing has happened physically Tommy, but in here..."

She taps my temple with her finger

"In here something's been happening ever since she got back"

I open my mouth to argue but her finger is immediately upon my lips

"And it ends here…okay?"

I frown in confusion and pull my face away from her finger

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"I'm not a fool Tommy, so don't treat me like one. I knows she's pulling you into whatever game she's playing this time, but you made a commitment to me… when we slept together"

The reason that i'm bound to her by guilt, i can't believe she's using that against me although i'm not sure why when i have been using it against myself. I'm not sure where this is going but this is a side to Katherine that I've never seen before

"If you think you can do that and then treat me like this now she's back…"

"This isn't about Kimberly"

Kat laughs sarcastically before yelling in my face

"IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT KIMBERLY WITH YOU… and she knows it. She's playing you now just like she always has, as soon as she gets back to Florida you'll be forgotten about, just like you were last time and it'll be left up to me to pick up the pieces"

She's playing on my insecurities, I know she is yet no matter how many times I tell myself that, I can't help thinking that she's right.

After all, there is no future for Kim and I, too much has happened, I told Kim I couldn't forget it and I meant it.

She said her feelings hadn't changed but that doesn't mean she still wants me, in fact she's made it more than clear that she doesn't.

Kat's right, I rushed into things with her… it was my choice and in doing it I made a commitment that I can't break. No matter how I feel about things I'm not going to be that guy

"I want us to get ready, go for breakfast with the guys and then I want us to get on with our lives- without Kimberly"

I feel my stomach lurch at the very thought of living without her

"I don't want us to talk about last night, I don't want us to mention what happened this morning, I just want us to make it through until Monday when she leaves and then we can pretend that none of this has happened"

I know I should stand up, and tell her 'no way' but I say nothing.

The events of last night and this morning is still murky in my mind, my entire being is still broken from the last year and my insecurities over Kim are eating away at me and convincing me that Katherine might be right- I owe it to her to make this work and I know I won't be able to do that with Kim in my life, because even when she doesn't try she draws me to her, I'm connected to her in a way I can't explain, a way that Katherine will never understand...or change

I scratch my head in confusion, I'm really not in any condition to make a decision like this, I need a shower and some food and some space

Kim and I were making progress, what Kat's asking is that I just write all of that off and walk away.

Even if it is the right thing to do I don't know if my heart would let me.

Could I walk away from Kimberly after everything we've been through?

Could I look her in the eye and tell her I don't want her in my life?

Could I do it knowing the one thing that is finally clear to me?

…I still love her


	26. The black tangled heart

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing… except the web in which the characters have found themselves tangled**

**CHAPTER 26**

Sitting inside his 1970 Ford Mustang, Tommy stared at the white stone house before him and wondered if too much damage had been done to even consider this.

His mind had been a mass of confusion ever since his conversation with Kat yesterday, so much so that he had spent the past 24 hours in his apartment, ignoring the phone and the incessant knocking on his front door.

Rocky had understood that he needed time to himself so had stayed at Adams parents last night and in his typical style he had offered Tommy his unconditional support without needing to know details.

Katherine on the other hand had left over ten messages on his answer machine, and each one was louder than the last, he was sure she'd been the one who had been knocking at his door but he hadn't been in any mood to talk, not to her- not to anyone.

The darkness of his apartment had brought a silence and solitude that his soul had been crying out for. It gave him space to breath and time to think.

He'd found himself looking through old photos, reliving the past… his past. No matter what had happened no body could take away from him the things that had already happened, the feelings he had already felt. Sure they could make him question whether they'd been real or not but in his heart he knew… he had always known.

The clouds that had descended over the past year or so may have obscured his view of things but in the darkness of his apartment yesterday, they had seemed crystal clear.

Kim had loved him, he had loved her, their relationship had been real, no matter what happend from now on he had that truth to cling to.

That's why he was here, sitting outside this house, debating with himself whether to step out of the car and face the consequences of his actions or whether to turn the key and just move on.

The passenger door of the car opening and the familiar dipping sensation as someone else's weight descended on it took the decision from Tommys hands and caused his fingers to tighten around the steering wheel, this could go one of two ways… he was about to find out which.

Sitting in silence the two men stared straight ahead, neither acknowledging the others presence until finally Tommy spoke

"You know, I could have you arrested for breaking and entering"

"Yeah well, if you don't want to be arrested along side me for stalking I suggest you drive on and say nothing"

A half smile pulled at Tommys lips as he turned the key and pulled out into the road

"So… I like the spiky disguise man but it didn't fool me for a second. What happened, did you get into a fight with a pair of scissors?"

"I got into a fight and then found some scissors"

Tommy glanced at Jason out of the corner of his eye and realised that maybe this situation was retrievable. He was smiling and they were talking easily like they always had, he wasn't naïve enough to think that they could pretend that it had never happened but maybe they would have a chance to make sure that it never happened again.

"We aren't going to fight again today are we because I warn you man, theses jeans are tight"

Smiling at the lack of serious conversation, Tommy replied

"No, we aren't going to fight today, besides who knows what I would cut off next… an arm?"

"It would actually be less of a dramatic look"

A comfortable silence descended on both men as Tommy navigated his way through the narrow streets of downtown Angel Grove

"So, where are we headed?"

"Tommy, Tommy, didn't anyone ever tell you that it's not the destination that's important- it's the journey?"

"My mother did once but I think that was because we were going to the dentist and she didn't want to tell me"

Jasons face grew serious as he carefully broached one of his friends 'I don't want to talk about it' subjects

"How are you're parents, I haven't seen them in forever"

Jason was surprised to find Tommy happy enough to talk about the subject and it lead him to wonder what else Tommy would be happy to talk about today? He decided to take it one step at a time

"It's still a bit strained, you know after the whole 'You're entire life was a lie' thing. We don't see that much of each other right now

"That must be hard for them, I know how close you guys were"

"They know it's not forever, just until I've worked things out in my own head"

Again silence covered them, but this time it wasn't so comfortable. They both knew what Jason was working up to, Jason knew he was going to ask the question and Tommy knew that if he did he was going to answer it.

His friendship with Jason had been pushed to breaking point… mostly because of him and if opening his blackened heart to his friend would get them back on the right path then that's what he was going to do, but first he had something he had to say

"Jason I'm really sorry, I can't believe I was such an idiot"

"Forget about it"

"Can you?"

"Hey I'm not exactly innocent in all of this so believe me when I say that I want to forget about it just as much as you do"

A simple nod of the head told both men that no more needed to be said on the matter, and with that they silently agreed that their friendship was getting back on track. Jason broached the second 'I don't want to talk about it' subject of the day

"So, Kim told me you guys talked a little"

Tommy said nothing, instead he simply nodded his head and focused on the road ahead as they drove out of the city and headed along the wider, coastal road.

"Are things any clearer?"

"About as clear as ditch water"

"At least it's a start though"

"Yeah, a false start if Katherine has anything to say about it.

Pulling into the side of the road on the cliffs that overlooked Angel Grove, Tommy killed the engine and exited the car.

For a minute or two Jason remained where he was, Tommy obviously had a lot on his mind and he obviously wanted to talk about it. Jason just hoped that he could keep impartial if he was called upon to give advice.

Releasing himself from his seat belt he manoeuvred his large frame out of the small car and headed to the bonnet where he found his friend standing.

"It's so beautiful up here" Tommys voice was quiet, almost as though he was speaking to himself. "Kimberly and I used to come up here all the time. It's amazing when the sun sets, it actually looks like it's dropping into a burning ocean"

"Angel Grove is a pretty amazing city"

"Do you ever feel like sometimes you get so trapped by the insides of it that you forget to step back and look at it from the outside?"

Jason wasn't sure if Tommy was still referring to the city but he decided to let him carry on as he lent against the black paintwork and gazed out the city that was their home.

"Katherine wants me to cut Kim out of my life"

Jasons brows furrowed as Tommy continued to unburden himself on the only person he knew that truly understood the depths of his relationship with Kim, the only person who would understand how this decision was tearing him apart

"She thinks it's the only way we will stand a chance of making our relationship work"

"You can't do that"

"Jason, I know it will hurt Kim but…"

"No, I mean, you physically won't be able to do that. I know you man and I know that you wont be able to look Kim in the eyes and tell her that's it, you never want to see her again. You need Kim in your life"

Tommy felt physically sick at the thought. He could imagine her caramel eyes looking up into his as he said the words, in his minds eye he could see the look of hurt and disbelief that he… of all people could say that to her- especially after what they'd gone through together over these last few days.

"I've survived this past year" He relied quietly

"Survived?! Tommy, you're barely breathing man"

The truth of Jasons words hung between them, both men wondering how differently Tommy would have handled the hard times of this past year if he had still had Kim by his side.

"I've made so many mistakes this year… I've made so many wrong decisions- I just want to do the right thing for once"

"The right thing by yourself or the right thing by Katherine?"

"Jason, things have happened between Kat and I, things that shouldn't have. I wasn't ready, not up here, not after Kim but I did it and if I walk away now it'll destroy her"

"If that's the best reson you've got to stay with her, you will destroy her. Tommy, staying with Katherine because you feel like you owe it to her, will never be the right thing to do"

Confusion again clouded Tommys mind, as a ranger he had always known the right thing to do… even if it wasn't the easy thing, but now he just couldn't see a way out of this. He didn't know what was right for him so how could he decide what was right for anyone else?

"You know, you can't spend your entire life trying to save other people Tommy, sometimes all you can do is save yourself"

Sighing and running his hand over his newly formed spikes, Tommy turned and put both hands on the bonnet of his car

"Do you still want to be with Katherine?"

"I don't think I can walk away after everything I've done"

"Well if that's the case the solution is easy"

Straightening up, Tommy looked hopefully at Jason.

Did he have a solution for the problems that still weighed him down?

Could it really be an easy one?

"Finish your conversation with Kim, tell her you're picking Katherine over her which means you can't see her again… ever, and then walk away from her and get on with your life. But I'm telling you Tommy, if you do that you have got to mean it because you are going to break Kims heart and if she goes this time- believe me, she wont be coming back and I will make sure of that"

Turning, Jason headed back towards the passenger door just as Tommys voice stopped him

"I can't do it Jase"

"I know you can't. The question is, what are you going to do? You have to talk to both of them- honestly"

"I can't talk to Kat right now, it's like she's so scared of what I'm going to say that she just doesn't hear me. Sometimes I feel like everything I say is just… whispers on the wind-you know? I speak but before the words reach her ears the wind snatches them and I'm left wondering why she doesn't hear me and she's left wondering why I never speak to her"

"You have to make Katherine listen and you have to make Kimberly talk- that's your solution. Now come on, take me to this race track of your uncles and let's see how fast this thing will really go"

_***I know this chapter doesn't really move us on any but I felt like I needed to tie up the Tommy/Jason loose end whilst making things clear in my own mind what Tommys motivations were for even considering going along with Kat **_

***I NEEDYOUR HELP!!!!!**

**_I'm going to be starting a series of one shots called 'Little Wonders' and they are what they say… ever wonder what happened when Kim went to the dance with Tommy when he first asked her out? I'm going to give you my take on that and many more… I was just wondering what T/K things you wonder about, be it things that were mentioned on the show but never shown- Tommy winning Kim the mirror or reactions we never saw- how did Tommy really react when he found out Kim might be moving to France or observations you might have made- how did Tommy end up with that little braid in his hair at the end of The Ninja Quest?_**

**_I will write the most interesting ones and I'm going to attempt to infuse some of them with the darkness of The Breaking Point and some of them with the humour and lightness of Ten Years._**

**_Oh and I might even consider some 'Ever wonder what would have happened if…'_**

**_I have private messaging so please send any requests to that x_**


	27. Lie to me

**DISCLAIMER:I OWN NOTHING**

**CHAPTER 27**

Opening his heavy front door and stepping into his apartment, Tommy was immediately aware that he was not alone.

Dropping his car keys onto the small, black iron table in the hallway he called out Rockys name.

…Silence.

Frowning and pushing open the dark wooden door to his front lounge, he barely had time to register Kats presence before the ambush began.

"Were you with her?!" she crossed the room in a few long strides and her face was suddenly inches from Tommys, her ragged breath hitting his face as she yelled "WELL?"

Bracing himself for Katherines onslaught, Tommy regretted that he hadn't had more time to prepare for this. He hadn't had that alone time he'd promised Jason he would have before he attempted this conversation. He hadn't done the soul searching that he needed to do before attempting his explanation.

More importantly… he hadn't spoken to Kim

Instead Kat had blind sided him. She'd hidden in the one place that should have been his safe house and she had launched her attack when he was completely unaware and completely unprepared.

Walking past Katherine Tommy headed towards the window and attempted to put some distance between them, but as he turned around he found Katherine upon him again, her icy blue eye boring into him

"I asked you a question" She seethed "and don't lie to me, DON'T YOU DARE LIE TO ME!"

Pulling air into his chest Tommy ran a hand over his chin and then answered in a firm, definite voice

"I wasn't with her"

"YOU'RE A LIAR!"

Shaking his head sadly he replied

" I might have done a lot of things but I've never lied to you Kat"

Her face was uncomfortably close now and Tommy was backed up against the window sill, having failed in his efforts to find some space"

Pressing his lips together and tilting his head to one side he looked intently into Katherines face

"I wasn't with Kimberly"

"Don't you dare say her name, in fact, I don't ever want to hear her name again"

Turning away from him quickly Katherine paced to the couch where she remained, never sitting and never turning back to face him. When he gently spoke her name it seemed to break her free from her spell and she spun around, her blond pony tail whizzing around behind her.

"I can't believe that after everything we said yesterday you would go to her… do you know many times I called you, do you know how many times I came over here, were you with her then, with her when I was worried sick about you?"

"I told you I wasn't with her" Tommys voice was calm, but he was quickly growing impatient with Katherines accusations "Why wont you believe that?"

"Okay, so where were you?" Kats hands crossed violently over her chest. She'd obviously been here, in his apartment, building herself into a rage for sometime, the empty coffee cup sitting on the table in his adjoining dinning room was proof of that

"I was here"

"Here, in your apartment? I came over yesterday, you didn't answer"

"I wanted some time to myself"

"So you ignored me when I was at your door and you ignored all my messages?"

"You made some pretty heavy duty demands yesterday Katherine, I needed to work out what I was going to do"

"I told you what you were going to do" She was heading in his direction again and he took a couple of steps to her left so he was stood with his back to the open lounge door. The knowledge that he could escape if he had to allowed him to relax a little

"Katherine, I know that Kim being back here has been difficult for you"

"I told you I didn't want to hear her name"

"But that's just the point isn't it, you just don't want to hear anything I have to say"

Pushing up the sleeves of his long- sleeved black t-shirt, Tommy knew that there might never be a perfect time for this conversation, that there might never be a perfect place but it had to be done, he'd been putting it off for long enough, and Jason was right, he couldn't save everyone.

Kat had given herself over to jealousy and insecurities, it had blinded her… all she could see was what her jealous mind would allow her to see.

A forced laugh lip escaped her lips before her face contorted into a dramatic look of disbelief

"Oh, is this where you try to turn it all around and blame it on me, tell me it's all going wrong because I don't listen to you?"

"No, it's where I ask you to sit down and tell you we need to talk. It's where you put aside your distorted version of what's going on here and let me tell you what's really happening, because we need to get this out in the open "

Shaking her head, Katherine headed for the door

"Sorry Tommy but you're right, I don't want to hear it. We agreed yesterday what was going to happen, so just stop with the disappearing acts and stick to the plan okay?"

Tommy knew this wasn't really Kat talking, she'd come at him with a torrent of built up anger and unfounded accusations but now it was subsiding she realised she was on the brink of hearing the truths that she wanted desperately to ignore. She was panicking and attempting to run,

Grabbing her arm as she tried to brush past him, Tommy held her firmly in place as he growled

"There is no plan Katherine, all there is, is you and me and we need to talk, one way or another this is happening…today"

**KIMBERLY HARTS MOTEL ROOM**

Struggling to regain her breath, Kim informed her visitor that she would be with them in a second and wrapping her still trembling fingers around the cold door knob she attempted to deepen her breathing before facing them

"Kimberly are you okay?"

The voice shocked her, she'd been expecting Jason, hoping for Tommy but expecting Jason not this… not now.

Looking down at her grey track pants and over sized green school sweater Kim couldn't have felt more under dressed…or unprepared.

The nightmare that she had just woken from had shaken her badly. Mostly because she hadn't been expecting it. She wasn't sure why but ever since she'd returned to Angel Grove the nightmares that had tormented her sleep and caused her to doubt her own reality had faded a little, they hadn't stopped but they definitely felt less… real.

That was until last night anyways…

"Kim?"

"Okay, okay, I'm coming"

Sighing, she twisted the handle and stood face to face with her visitor and what made things worse was she looked stunning in a pair of figure hugging black jeans and a fitted, yellow shirt, the black beret she wore really set the outfit off and if Kim hadn't been feeling so self-conscious due to her own un-flattering outfit she would have told her so.

"Tanya…"

"Are you okay, I thought I heard you cry out"

"I'm fine, it must have been a nightmare" Looking down at her outfit she added "As you can see I was having a lazy morning"

It wasn't quite the truth but Kim doubted Tanya wanted to hear how she felt so depressed since Tommy had left with Katherine yesterday and hadn't returned to finish their conversation that she had decided to spend this morning wallowing in the misery that was her life before meeting Jason for lunch and then hitting the mall to try and cheer herself up, unfortunately she had fallen asleep and her unconscious mind had played some terrifyingly real tricks on her

"Can we talk?"

"…Sure, come in"

Closing the door behind her, Kimberly had a terrible feeling that she wasn't going to like what she was about to hear

"Can I get you anything, a water?"

"No, I'd rather just say what I've come to say, I know that probably sounds rude"

Chewing on her bottom lip, Kimberly prepared herself for what ever bashing she was about to take this time but to her surprise Tanya sat down on the edge of her unmade bed and simply looked at her

"You know Kimberly, it's a shame things had to be like this, but I joined the team long after you left and Tommy and Katherine are my friends"

"…and I'm not" It wasn't a question, Kim already knew the answer

"Maybe if circumstances had been different… I mean, Aisha speaks really highly of you"

'Sure, that's why she never calls or writes, ever since that stupid letter'

"Or maybe in the future, you know, when this whole situation is over, in the mean time, Katherine's my best friend and she really needs someone to look out for her right now"

"Is that why you're here, to look out for Kat?"

Tanya nodded as Kim wrapped her arms around herself

"Well Tanya, I don't think you need to worry about that, because she's got Tommy looking out for her right now"

To say Kimberly was a little bitter about Tommy leaving with Katherine yesterday instead of staying to finish their conversation would be like saying hell is only a sauna.

"Tommy's not exactly reliable right now Kimberly"In a heart beat Kim responded

"Tommy's one of the only men in the entire world that you can rely on, having been a ranger you should know that without doubt"

"Things are strained between him and Katherine"

"And you think that's my fault?"

"Not necessarily, but Kat does. That's why she's asked Tommy to make a decision that I don't think he can make, and that's why I'm here Kimberly, I'm here to ask you to make that decision for him"

**TOMMYS APARTMENT**

Katherine Hillard stood gazing out of the front window of her boyfriends apartment and watched in silence as the world passed by as if in slow motion.

For months she's been running from the truth and trying to convince herself that the terrible nagging feeling in her chest was down to her own insecurities, but here she was in the one place she wanted to be with the one person she wanted to be there with and yet her heart was hammering in her chest as the foundations that she'd built her life on creaked and groaned all around her. Any second now they were going to give way because one look at Tommys face told her that everything was about to fall apart

"Katherine"

Tommys voice was so gentle, and filled with so much concern that Katherine was struggling to stop herself from believing that this might not be going the way she was terrified it was.

"Kat"

But she still couldn't force herself to turn around, she couldn't bare to look into his face because she knew that's where she would see the truth. They say the eyes are the window to the soul and Tommys were a prime example of that

Forcing herself to turn around Katherine found Tommy sat on his leather sofa, his hands laced together over his long legs and his head bowed in quiet contemplation

His desolate profile told Katherine all she needed to know and she found her self fighting back tears before another word was spoken.

Lifting his head Tommy looked up at the woman who had given herself to him without reserve, the woman who had fought to fix him at a time he was too broken to fix himself. He felt ashamed of himself, no matter what he said it was going to hurt her and she didn't deserve it, but the truth wasn't pleasant, what he'd allowed himself to do wasn't far short of cruel

"I'm sorry"

Two words had crossed his lips and Kat already wanted him to stop, she didn't want to know anymore. She wanted to tell him that whatever he was sorry for didn't matter, she would forgive him anything as long as he just stayed with her, but choking back tears she forced herself to ask why

"I've been living as somebody else for a long time now. Not on purpose, I don't think I even really realised myself until I was stood in my uncles cabin with the scissors in my hands. I've done things Kat… said things… when I look back now I can't believe that I allowed myself to get so lost. I'm so ashamed with myself but you've got to believe that I didn't do it to hurt you I just… I don't know who I am any more"

Tommys words dripped of truth and remorse but they weren't making sense to either of them, he was trying to piece together his actions over the course of the past year and form an explanation with them but it was obvious he was struggling to make sense of things in his own head and in his own words

"Tommy, it doesn't matter" Without realising she was doing it Kat crossed the room and sat next to him. Taking his hand in hers she looked into his eyes, searching for a hint that there was something left to fight for. "None of it matters, whatever you've done, I don't care, you've been going through hell and no one knows that better than me because I've been here, the whole time and I will always be here if you'll let me"

Her eyes were begging him not to do this, he could see it as clearly as though she were saying the words herself. Dropping his eyes Tommy looked at their hands. Their fingers were laced together, his looked so much larger and darker than hers… just like his soul!

"Katherine, I don't want to hurt you anymore"

"Then don't"

Releasing his hand Katherine raised her long fingers and stroked his face. The fact that he felt nothing in her touch simply reinforced his believe that this might not have been what he had intended to do today but for the first time in a long time he was doing the right thing

"Once Kimberly leaves we can be happy again, I promise you- it can be just like it was"

Closing his eyes Tommy knew his next words would break her heart, and although it was the last thing that he wanted to do he knew it was the only thing he could do

"It's not about Kimberly, not completely. Kat,the truth is I was wrong to take our relationship any further than frienship."

The look of hurt that covered Katherines face almost killed him. She didn't deserve this

"I was trying to fool myself that I was okay, I was trying to pretend that I didn't still feel the way I did. I knew how you felt about me and I used you to try and make myself feel 'normal' again but I should have made sure that I was free of one situation before I bound myself to another one"

Tommys statement hit Katherine like a blow to the stomach, and the tears that she had bravely been holding back began to flow.

Shaking her head from side to side Kat couldn't believe what she was hearing. She felt sick but the only thing in her mind was making him change his mind

"Okay, so in the beginning it wasn't right, you weren't ready after Kimberly and I understand that. Maybe I did try to push you into things too quickly but we've been happy Tommy, I know that it hasn't all been a lie. Look me in the eye and tell me that it hasn't all been a lie"

Sobbing, she whispered

"Tell me"

"I…"

"TELL ME!"

"Katherine, things between us… I care about you and I owe you so much I just…I don't want to hurt you…"

"So why are you doing this to me?" Her voice was quiet and child-like

Standing quickly Tommy needed space, this was the most difficult thing he had ever done, he was holding back, trying not to hurt her anymore than necessary but he found his half truths hurting and confusing her more.

Turning back to Katherine he found her with her head in her hands, her back rising and falling with sobs. Lifting her head she looked into his eyes and all Tommy could see was the damage he'd done

"You never wanted me did you? It's always been about her, I've always been your attempt to replace her"

Tommy found himself unable to deny it

"I guess I've always known it, it's always felt as though there were three of us in this relationship, us and her ghost. I just don't get it, what she did, I would never…"

"I know"

"Then why? Why can't you just move on.?"

The shrug he gave was an unconscious answer to a question he had never been able to answer

"Help me to understand this Tommy because I don't. I've been everything I could and I have given you everything that I had and it's not enough. She has done nothing but take things from you and you still want her"

"I don't know the answer Kat, all I can tell you is that no matter what happens, no matter how hard I try not to I just… I still feel it and I don't know when or if that will ever change"

Returning her head to her hands Kat began sobbing uncontrollably. Everything she had feared, everything she had tried to convince herself wasn't the truth had just ploughed into her heart and as her life came crumbling down around her she felt Tommy crouch before her and place his hands on her knees

"Katherine, please forgive me"

Looking into his dark eyes and wiping tears away from her own she whispered

"You were wrong Tommy, before"

"What about?"

"When you said that you'd never lied to me. You've lied to me about everything and I'm sorry if you don't like it but I will never forgive you for that"

**KIMBERLY HARTS HOTEL ROOM**

Folding the soft cream sweater into her suitcase Kimberly resolved not to cry over this.

Tanyas words reverberated throughout her entire being and no matter how much it was breaking her heart Tanya had been right, now was the time for her to finally do the right thing by Tommy and walk away.

He deserved the chance to strengthen his relationship with Kat now that he had the answers he required from her. He deserved the chance to rebuild his life without her continuously turning up and tearing it all down.

When Kim had brought Tommy to his knees Katherine had picked him up, she'd healed him and yet all Kim could do was continue to hurt him.

Tommy deserved more- he deserved to be happy and Tanya had been right when she'd told Kim that now was the time to sacrifice her own happiness for the sake of the man she still loved… the man she would always love, and the man her heart would eternally long for


	28. The damage we do

_**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**_

_***Okay, some more loose ends to tie up (I think you all probably knew this was coming)**_

_**But after this chapter we're on to the home straight. There will probably be 2-3 more chapters and an epilogue (which I've already written). I just hope I do these last chapters justice as a massive thank you to everyone for your support x**_

_**CHAPTER 28**_

Standing in his bathroom wearing nothing more than a pair of dark blue, form fitting jeans and a spiky new hair-do courtesy of his own personal barber- Rocky DeSantos, Tommy glanced at his reflection once more and then headed down the small hallway to his bedroom.

The change in hair style may not have been planned but smiling to himself, he had to admit he was quickly growing to like it

Today had been one of the most horrendous days he'd ever endured and although it had to happen, nothing had prepared him for the devastation he had caused to Katherine.

Every time he closed his eyes he saw hers. The tearful blues pleading with him, begging him, the confusion that swam in them had reminded him of his own eyes those days following Kimberlys letter. He found it difficult to believe that after being on the receiving end of that kind of pain he could so quickly be the cause of it

It was done now and it was time for him to move on to the final challenge of the day.

Pulling open his wardrobe door he saw his life in colour. Blocks of clothing in green…white…red and then the black of the last few months. Smiling he pulled a finger along all the top of the hangers as he associated memories with each colour.

Green… Standing in the park, nervously trying to ask Kimberly to a dance.

White… Kimberly passing out as she realised that he was back on the team and back in white this time

Red… The letter…

Pulling all the hangers holding red clothing from the wardrobe Tommy threw them onto his bed and made a mental note to burn them later

Feeling guilt tugging at his heart Tommy had to admit that he felt as though a weight had been lifted off him following his discussion with Katherine and although she probably hated right him now he was sure that in time she would see that he'd done it with the best intentions. He wanted her to be happy, and she would never be happy with him because he would never be happy without Kim

Reaching into his wardrobe again this time he pulled out what felt right… a simple white shirt. Pulling it on and beginning to fasten the buttons, Tommy couldn't help but be drawn into the past

All of his memories of white were accented by pink… every time he had needed her she had been there, every time he had doubted himself she knew exactly what to say to lift him up and every time he had triumphed there had been only one person he had sought out

How things had become so wretched between them he had no idea, all he knew was there was only one person he wanted to see tonight, there was one conversation too important to leave unfinished.

Leaving the top two buttons of his shirt undone and rolling up his sleeves, Tommy splashed himself with cologne, picked up his car keys and headed for the Angel Grove motel

**ANGEL GROVE MOTEL**

Standing before the slightly open door, Katherine Hillard wiped her tear stained face and prepared for a showdown with the women who had stolen everything from her that meant anything.

Sure, things with Tommy hadn't been perfect but they could have worked things out if she hadn't come back and ruined everything.

Running her hand over her face, she was sure she looked horrendous, just as sure as she was that Kimberly would look fresh and gorgeous as ever, where as in the past she may have been jealous, all she felt now was the need to vent all her fury, hurt and humiliation at the one person she knew was responsible

Deciding against the polite approach, Katherine simply pushed the door open and prepared to start yelling, but was surprised by the sight of Kimberly Hart sitting on her bed in track pants and an over sized sweater, with clothes strewn all around her and a desolate look on her face as she stared at the floor

"You're leaving" It was a statement rather than a question and slowly Kim turned to face her as if moving in slow motion. The tracks of her tears were as obvious as Katherines own

"You're leaving, are you kidding me?!"

Katherine stormed across the room towards the petit figure on the bed but Kimberly didn't move, instead she just looked at Katherine with what could only be described as 'vague interest'

"After all you've done, all the trouble you've caused, you're just getting up and running… again?!"

Turning her head towards the small window, Kim kept her silence as she stared out towards the horizon, there was a world beyond Angel Grove, she'd seen it, she'd lived in it but it had nothing to offer her and yet she was preparing herself to return to it

"When the hell did you become such a goddamn coward?"

Turning her head back towards Katherine in a flash Kim shook her head slightly as she spoke

"You don't know anything about me Katherine, you never have"

"Well I know that you're a precious little princess that throws a tantrum and runs away every time she doesn't get what she wants"

"Well thank you for that character evaluation, now if you don't mind- don't let the door hit you on your way out"

Reaching out a hand Katherine held Kimberly tightly by the cheeks as she seethed

"Oh I'm not going anywhere Kimmie, believe me, I have more than a few things to say to you before you get your ass out of Angel Grove. Oh, and do us all a favour, if you're really going this time- really stay gone because I know I'm not just speaking for myself when I say we are sick to death of these games you insist on playing at all our expenses"

Slapping Kats hand away, Kimberly shot to her feet and both women stood staring at each other for what felt like forever.

Kimberly had no idea what she'd done this time for Katherine to turn up at her motel room and just barge inside, more furious than Kim had ever seen her, more furious in fact than Kim had thought she was capable of being, but one thing was for sure, after the morning she'd had she was in no mood for putting up with shit from anyone

"Okay Katherine, you've got two seconds to tell me what the hell your drama is this time otherwise I am going to kick your lanky ass all the way back to Australia"

"Do you really think you could, I have heels taller than you"

"Two seconds and you find out"

Kimberlys hands were planted firmly to her hips as Katherine crossed her arms over her chest, they'd been working up to this confrontation ever since their encounter at the mall.

Both women were hurting, both were confused and looking for an outlet for their emotional turmoil, unfortunately for the former friends it looked like they were going to be each others way out

"Do you know how much I looked up to you when I first moved here?"

"Do you have any idea how much I don't care? Katherine, from the very first minute you met me you were plotting against me, sure you had the whole 'under a spell' excuse but even after the spell was broken all you wanted was to get me as far away as possible so that you could take from me the one thing that I hadn't already given you. You go on and on about what I've done and what I've taken from you but everything you had, is everything that I gave you. You don't have your own life here in Angel Grove, you have mine. It's like one of those soap operas where one character leaves and the producers just replace them with another actress and hope that no one will notice"

The gap between them was closed a heart beat as Katherines long hand came crashing down against the warm skin of Kimberlys cheek.

Never moving or reacting Kimberly looked deep into Katherines eyes

"You get that one free, try it again…" Her voice was barely a whisper as a cruel smile slid over her lips "I dare you"

Shifting uncomfortably, Katherine took a small step backwards. Her hand stung from her sudden outburst and although she regretted making it physical, her hurt and anger wouldn't allow her to back down. If this was the final battle of The Pinks she was going to show Kimberly that she was never just an also-ran

"Tommy was happy before you came back here"

"Tommy hasn't been happy since I left" Kimberly didn't know if it was the truth but she'd been shouted at and accused enough this week to last a life time. Mostly she'd said nothing because of the weight of her own guilt but for some reason she had chosen now as the time to stand up and say ' I will not take this anymore'

"Are you really arrogant enough to believe that's true, after everything that you've put him through?"

Katherines words were cold and the truth of them hit Kim immediately

"Do you know what you've done, to all of us?"

"Yes, I know, I just had your little side-kick over here driving it all home to me, so if you've come here to give me the 'You've caused enough damage, now do the right thing' speech, save your breath because I just had it off Tanya and look around you Katherine, I'm doing what you all want… I'm leaving"

"Oh… the martyr act again, I have to tell you Kim, it's getting a little old"

"What more do you want from me?"

"**I want **for you to have never have come back…ever. **I want **for you to have sent your stupid letter and then disappeared off the face of the earth. **I want **for you to have given Tommy and I the chance that you took from us the second you came back here"

Kimberlys brows knitted together in confusion as she listened to Katherines words which had started out as angry missiles but were now cooling

"Do you know how angry I am with you, do you know how much I hate you right now?"

Tears were forming in Kats eyes as her voice calmed into nothing more than a angry breeze

"I don't know what it is you think I've done that is so terrible" Kims voice was now completely free of anger yet riddled with confusion

"You've never let him go"

"I tried"

"You keep coming back! every time I think we've moved on, that we've grown as a couple, something happens…"

Katherines voice began to break and she quickly turned her back on her predecessor in an attempt to hide her distress. Her soul was still in knots following her heartbreaking conversation with Tommy, the wounds were too raw, too new to stand up to the salt she knew Kim could pour on her if she chose to

"We can never be free of you… Tommy can never be free of you"

"I'm tired of hurting people Kat"

"AND YET YOU KEEP DOING IT!" Kat turned back to face Kim and the fury she'd displayed earlier was on show again, this time in her eyes "What's wrong with you Kimberly, can you just not bare to see anybody be happy? It's like you don't want Tommy but you don't want anybody else to have him either, you've always got to keep your little chain around his neck, pulling him back towards you when ever you feel like it just to prove to yourself that you can"

"It's not like that at all" and it hurt her to realise that people might think that was what she was doing "I'm not playing games, this is just really hard for me"

"Hard for **you**?! Kim, this is all **because** of you" Katherine angrily rubbed away the tears that were now betraying her by making themselves seen "Everything that Tommy has gone through, everything I have gone through, it's all because of you and I hate you so much for it"

Sitting down on the edge of the bed suddenly Katherine dropped her head into her hands

"I hate that you can do this to us" The sobs that she had been holding in, afraid of showing her inner torment, escaped as the enormity of what had happened today finally hit her

"Katherine…" Kim moved tentatively towards the woman she had trusted to take care of everything that she had cared about "Katherine I'm sorry. You're right, I shouldn't have come back here, I was only thinking of myself, I didn't think of the effect it would have on you and Tommy, but I didn't do it on purpose, I didn't want to hurt anyone on purpose" Sitting down next to Kat, Kimberly continued with her apology and explanation. "I just didn't think he would care if I came back or not, I thought he might still be angry with me but I didn't realise what he was going through, I promise I just didn't realise"

Katherines small sobs were the only noise that filled the now silent room

"Do you know when I knew?" Kat forced her voice out through small gulps of air

"Knew what?"

"That I couldn't lose him. The day you and Jason were kidnapped by Divatox. When he saw that it was you…" A small laugh escaped Kats lips " I've never seen such a look of panic on anybodies face before, I tried to reach out to him but I knew then that he was gone and I knew I could never lose him because I never had him to lose. You've always been in his heart no matter how much he tried to convince me it wasn't true or how much I tried to convince myself I always knew- deep down, I just couldn't bare to accept it, I couldn't bare that what I'd fought so hard for, what I'd put all my hopes and dreams into was all lies"

"Katherine…"

Looking up into Kims eyes Kat suddenly realised they were both in the same situation, they were both living in broken pieces for the same man

"If you leave now he'll hate you"

"If I stay I'll destroy him, he's just starting to get strong again"

"Because of you"

"Because I gave him answers that he needed to start over"

"You still love him, I can see it in your eyes every time you look at him"

"It's not enough, you should know that Katherine- sometimes love is not enough"

**ANGEL GROVE MOTEL 30 MINUTES LATER **

Standing outside of the Angel Grove motel, Katherine closed her eyes and let the cool breeze kiss her burning cheeks.

The tears she'd cried today had been the hottest she'd ever experienced and she had a feeling that the scars they had caused would be on show for a long time to come

Massaging her temples she knew the headache she had been trying to ward off since leaving Tommys apartment 90 minute ago was closing in the gentle thump above her eyes was intensifying by the second.

Katherine was so lost in her own thoughts that she didn't hear Tommys car pull up beside her. The first she knew of his presence was when he touched her arm and spoke her name.

Jolting to attention, Kats heart broke a little more as she observed his choice of shirt, that one garment said everything that he hadn't been able to bring himself to say earlier.

He still loved Kim, he still wanted to be with her, even after everything she'd done

"Kat what are you doing here?"

"The same thing you are, only I was in time- you're too late"

Tommys eyebrows plummeted south as his heart did the same thing

"What do you mean?"

He had a terrible feeling he knew but he needed to hear it before he would believe it

"She's gone Tommy"

"What?"

The disbelief he felt was immeasurable. She couldn't have gone, not when they'd come this far, not when there was so much he had to tell her

"She said to tell you she was sorry but this is for the best"

Turning towards his ex-girlfriend Panic wrapped its self around Tommys heart.

She'd gone- he'd lost her.

Grabbing Kat by the shoulders he yelled

"What have you done Katherine? WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"


	29. Breaking the habit

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**

**CHAPTER 29**

Staring down at the feet which were silently moving in the direction of his apartment Tommy had to wonder if this was how he would spend the rest of his life, blindly moving forward, never aware of the life going on around him, forever hiding from the ghosts that haunted him

Closing his eyes as his feet continued to rise and fall he couldn't believe that at one point today he had almost convinced himself that this past year maybe hadn't been for nothing, that maybe it had been something that he had to experience in order to reach this point of realisation about his life- the things he could live with, and the things he couldn't live without

Stuffing his hands into the pockets of his jeans and keeping his eyes glued to his black boots he fought the burn of tears as he struggled to cope with the crippling sense of loss once more

How could she leave him again, after everything that she said?

That song… she'd said she needed him, she'd sung the fact that the song was her attempt at saying sorry for everything that she had done and on the beach she had looked him in the eyes and told him that her feelings for him had never changed, and yet she'd gone. She'd said those things and filled him with some kind of insane optimism and then she'd walked out on him again.

Kat had told him that Kim had made the decision to go before she had spoken with her and Tommy had come to believe it was the truth. He didn't know what had happened but somehow she had decided that they weren't worth fighting for and he was left wondering if maybe she had a point. So he hadn't chased her to the airport as Kat had mocked him that he would, he hadn't called Jason to find out was going on, instead he had left his precious car parked outside the motel and he had started his long, lonely walk home and battled with the truth every step of the way

"I like your shirt"

Raising his eyes for the first time since he had walked out of the car park, Tommy hadn't even realised that he had reached his destination let alone that he had company.

Rising slowly from the steps that lead off of the street and up to Tommys apartment Kim flashed him a nervous smile as she straightened out her dress. Tommys mind buzzed as he openly stared at the beautiful cream, silk garment,it had the most intricate, green, floral design.

Green and cream… it was beautiful. She as always, was beautiful, only not _**his**_ beautiful… not anymore

Shrugging, he replied

"I like your dress"

And then he dropped his eyes again and walked past her and up the cement steps whilst pulling his key chain from his pocket. Opening the door he walked silently into the building, never inviting her inside but making no attempt to shut the door in her face either

Leaning against the wooden door frame Kim called into the darkened hallway

"Can I come in or shall I just yell from out here?"

"Do what you like Kimberly, you usually do"

Tommys voice didn't hide the weariness that he felt, he was emotionally exhausted, if Kim had come back for one final showdown he didn't know if he had the energy to participate this time

Sighing at the mess she had once again made, Kimberly slowly headed down the darkened hallway and into the living room, where she found Tommy standing with his back to her, gazing into the empty fire place

Sighing again, Kim found her voice breaking the silence before she was even sure of where to begin

"So… I guess you've figured out by now that everything you've thought of me this last year was right"

"That you're childish and selfish you mean?"

Kim wrapped her arms around herself, as though attempting to protect herself from Tommys words

"That you run at the first opportunity and you've developed this really nasty habit of taking the easy way out of everything"

"Nothing I've done this year has been easy"

Tommy suddenly turned his body to face her and she was surprised to see that he didn't look angry, or upset…in fact all Kim could see on his face was exhaustion.

"Write it, send it, forget it- sounds easy enough to me Kimberly"

"It wasn't easy and I never forgot… I never forgot you Tommy"

Tommys face crumpled into a look of disbelief but his voice remained as calm and steady as it had since she showed up unexpectedly on his door step

"Oh so you didn't _**forget**_ to call, I guess that means that you just decided not to bother then huh?"

"I didn't think you'd want to speak to me"

"You didn't think that I would want an explanation after everything we'd been through?"

The first flames of temper wrapped them self around Tommys words as Kimberly felt her whole body go tense in anticipation of the years worth of emotions that she sure would soon be heading her way , but she deserved this, it could have been so different, if she hadn't tried to run again they could have carried on from where they had left off on the beach, but she'd proven herself to be everything that that he had spent a year convincing himself that she was and now they were back to square one

"I'm sorry I did everything wrong, but I'm here now Tommy"

Taking a step closer Kim tried to hold his gaze, begging him with her eyes to see how this situation was tearing her apart, how living without him had caused her to make all kinds of terrible decisions but his eyes simply fell to the floor where he tapped his foot in some nervous rhythm and when he spoke the fire had gone from his voice and in it's place was ice water

"Yeah well _**now **_is too late Kim, all of _**this**_ is too late, it doesn't matter what we say, what's done is done and now, it's just all too late"

"Tommy, it's not. We can talk about this, you can yell at me if you like, we can work this out"

A simple shake of the head was his desolate reply

"I thought after everything that happened…"

"You thought after everything it was okay to just leave?"

"…I came back"

"You were going to go, and I was beginning to accept it… again, and now here you are… again, and I don't know what you want from me because if you want a yelling match, you're a year too late and if you want to make things okay- then you're a year too late for that too"

Kim released her arms slightly and then crossed them tightly over her chest

"You don't mean that"

"How can you expect anything different?"

Crossing his own arms over his chest Tommy pulled his white shirt tight and the bottom separated to reveal his navel. Noticing immediately, Kimberly found herself chewing on her bottom lip in an attempt to stop herself from drooling

"Tommy I'm sorry"

"Don't you ever get sick of saying that to me?"

"I've made a lot of mistakes recently, I guess that means I've got a lot to be sorry for"

"Fine, I accept your apology, now you can go back to Florida with a clear conscience"

Shaking her head Kim took a step backwards and dropped down onto his cool, leather sofa, looking up at him as he towered over her she covered her face with her hands as she begged

"Tommy, please don't be like this, please don't let all the progress we've made be for nothing"

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to tell me what's going on in your head"

Turning his back to her, Tommys quiet words hit her as though he had yelled them in her face

"What makes you think I can trust you with that anymore?"

"Because deep down you know me" she whispered

"I doubt I ever did" Tommy sounded more as though he was talking to himself than he was talking to her, but in an instant Kim was back on her feet and her hand was wrapped tightly around his forearm, pulling him around to face her

"Tommy, you're the only one who has ever known me, the real me. I know I've done some terrible things, I know I've hurt you but you have got to believe that what we had was real, I knew you… you knew me"

"How can I believe anything? Don't you see that's the problem? I believed you before Kim, I trusted you with everything and I believed every word you said, but you lied, and I didn't know it. If I didn't know it then how can I trust a word you say now?"

The fire was back in Tommys voice and Kimberly quickly released his arm and took a step back -but she never once broke eye contact

"I was lost and confused"

"Didn't you think that maybe I felt the same?"

"You still had everyone, I had no one!"

"You had me! …only that wasn't enough, was it?"

"I don't know what to say Tommy, I don't know how to explain things to make this okay, just know that I would never purposely hurt you"

"YOU ALREADY DID!"

This time it was Tommy who took a step closer

"Look at me Kim, look at me- look what you did"

"I thought it was my only option!"

One tear escaped but was quickly followed by another, and another…

"I didn't know how to live like everyone else was… without you, I thought Lucas could help me to forget, I explained this, I thought you understood!"

"I thought I was beginning to, until you walked out on me again"

"I thought I was doing the right thing, Tanya said if I cared about you I would stop hurting you and just leave. I am so tired of hurting people Tommy. Every time I think I'm doing the right thing it turns out to be the wrong thing but I never meant to hurt you any more than I already had and I didn't mean to hurt Katherine or your team…"

Kimberly heaved the heavy air between them into her chest in an attempt to calm herself as she wiped her fingers along her lower lids- trying to wipe away her tears without smudging her mascara

"After Tanya left, I thought about things for ages, everything I'd done, everything I wanted… I figured that at the end of the day what I wanted didn't matter anymore, after everything I'd put you through I just had to do the right thing by you, and I started to convince myself that maybe doing the right thing by you meant staying for once. Then Katherine turned up and she was so angry and upset. She blamed me for you guys breaking up and I just I felt so terrible that I had caused you both so much more pain I had to go. Don't you see, not being around is the only way I can guarantee that I wont hurt you"

"But you came back"

"I was scared if I left this time I would lose you for good, Tommy, I can't lose you"

They both stood in silence as the air burned white hot between them

"I'm sorry about you and Katherine"

"I guess in the end I'm just as bad as you huh?"

"Don't say that" Her words were little more than a breath

"I'm stood yelling at you when I've just gone and done the exact same thing. Kat didn't do anything but care about me"

Closing her eyes, tears of regret slid down her cheeks

"Sometimes it's just not enough"

"But I wanted it to be enough! I wanted it to be the same. I wanted to look into her eyes and just feel it, I tried so hard… do you know how easy this would all be if I could just feel something for somebody else?"

Throwing his head back Tommy stared at the white ceiling and sighed.

Why could he never feel anything for anyone other than her?

Why hadn't his feelings diminished, even after all of this time?

"You can't make yourself feel something that you don't Tommy"

Immediately his head snapped back down and he stared at her

"I guess you should know all about that"

"Yeah I should, I tried so hard to love Lucas, I threw myself into it completely, just hoping and praying every day that at some point I would look at him and feel it… that feeling I felt when I first saw you in the youth centre… the same feeling I get even now, but all I ever felt was cheap for selling myself out… for selling us out. I don't know what this is Tommy but I can't stop it, I've tried so hard"

"This has to end"

Tommys eyes were closed as he spoke, he couldn't bare to see Kim so fragile, baring the truth of her soul to him in a way that made him want to give in and hold her. No good could come of this, too much damage had been done, the distance she had put between them was too great

"…I still love you though"

Her voice was tiny and tear soaked and it immediately broke Tommys heart into a million pieces and then set a fire in his soul.

Without thinking, Tommy stepped forward and wrapped an arm around Kimberlys tiny waist, he felt her tense with surprise but he ignored it and pulled her towards him, lowering his head and pressing his lips to hers, he felt Kim half-heartedly attempt to pull away but the feel of her lips on his after all this time was too intense to lose this quickly so he held her tighter, enjoying the sensation of her body relaxing and then her arms wrapping themselves around his neck.

The kiss was a year over due, and both Tommy and Kimberly clung to it, and to each other as though it may be their last, but eventually they broke apart. Their faces were flushed with the heat of the moment, and their lips tingled with the electricity they had always shared

"Tommy…"

"I needed to know"

"Know what?"

"If it still felt the same"

"And? …Tommy!"


	30. Pathways

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**

_***This could be the end…if it feels right I will post the epilogue soon and that will be the end, it makes me so sad! But I hope you enjoy this chapter x**_

**CHAPTER 30**

My name is Kimberly Hart… I think, and less than 5 minutes ago my entire life flashed before my eyes, and believe me- I'm not talking faded black and white images with slow romantic music playing over the top. We're talking a heart stopping, breath taking, wide screen, H.D… no, 3.D extravaganza with surround sound, bells ringing and angels singing.

Unfortunately, less than 2 minutes ago, my world stopped spinning and here I stand, in what feels like suspended animation. The world around me had dimmed to grey, the blood that had spent 20 years flowing happily around my body has come to a standstill, my heart has slowly climbed up into my mouth and as I stare into the eyes of my future and my past the only thing I can hear is the tick-tock of my new silver watch.

The noise is thumping in my ears and it feels like a warning… have I wasted too much time, or is it quickly running out?

A minute and a half ago I asked a question and now my entire life hinges on one answer

Did he feel it?

Unfortunately the man standing in front of me wearing an outfit that is making my head giddy seems reluctant to tell me

My mouth has become as dry as the desert the command centre once stood in and no matter how many times I open and close it, no words are forming. My mind is shrouded in desire and my body is taut with anticipation when suddenly his answer hit's the air, and in a heartbeat the world starts spinning again and I just about hit the roof

"It was okay I guess…"

'_**Excuse me, what?!' **_

My mouth hangs open in surprise and I know it's not an attractive look but to hell with looking gorgeous- today I've been slapped and yelled at and on top of that I've spent the last 30 minutes shouting and crying. I doubt my impression of a fly trap could make me look less attractive than I already do

"It could have been better, it definitely didn't 'rock my world' if you know what I mean"

As he walks past me I suddenly have the urge to smack him so hard on the back his stupid head, and as he exit's the room through his dining room I'm about ready to scream with temper

"Tommy, don't you dare walk away from me!"

My voice sounds shrill in my ears and as I follow him into the kitchen I find him opening a bottle of water and I notice his hand trembling slightly

'_**So, I didn't rock his world- huh,? I'll show him'**_

Plastering on my most sorrowful face, I shake my head sadly

"Tommy, I know that sometimes when we're together it can feel just like old times and I can fully understand that maybe you got caught up in that…"

I see his eyebrows coming down and know immediately that the tide is turning

"…But I really don't think stealing kisses and trying to recreate something that was over a long time ago is going to help either of us move on do you?"

He nearly spits his water at me in shock and it warms my soul to know that playing Tommy Oliver is a game that I will never grow tired of… or lose!

"I'm glad me coming back here gave us the opportunity to yell at each other some more but I really have to go, I have to catch up with Jason and let him know that I will be travelling back tomorrow after all"

This time it's Tommys turn to imitate a fly trap and I smile to myself at how quickly I've turned the tables on my less experienced game player

"I'm glad we had this opportunity to get everything off our chests and actually you're right, I can go back to Florida with a clear conscience and don't worry, I forgive you"

"What the hell are you forgiving me for?!"

Yes, the reaction I was waiting for. I smile as I set out to provoke him some more

"You kissed me"

"You told me that you loved me!"

"True, but then you said the kiss was just 'alright' and that it wasn't earth shattering- sorry Tommy, but I only do earth shattering"

I can see confusion and panic covering his features, he looks like an animal that has been backed in to a corner- a tiger maybe… my white tiger! I want to put him out of his misery but my insecurities about his true feelings won't allow me to make the first move so instead I make the only move I can- I turn around and begin to leave

"Kimberly…"

I can feel him getting closer and in my mind I can see the way his white shirt pulls against his body as he moves

"Kim!"

He grabs hold of my shoulder and the feel of his skin on mine sends sparks of electricity and excitement shooting through every inch of me

If he didn't feel that then his soul truly is dead, but the way his cheeks flush and he then runs a still shaky hand through his delicious chocolate spikes tells me that I don't have to worry, he definitely felt it

"What is it Tommy?"

I give him my most innocent eyes, as though I have no idea what he could possibly still want with me

"Maybe I missed it"

A smile almost escapes me but I manage to hold it in check and then I add a frown- just for good measure

"Tommy, I doubt even you could miss the earth shaking"

He pauses for a second and I can see his mind working over-time

"Okay then, maybe I forgot- you know how my memory can be"

I pout, but only because I know he can't resist it

"I rock your world and you forget. Wow, way to woo a girl Tommy!"

A mischievous twinkle appears in his eyes as he steps closer to me and puts his hands into his pockets, again revealing that attention seeking navel. Bending his head closer to mine he whispers

"Who said I was trying to 'woo' you Kimberly?"

"You were kissing, that generally means that you're 'wooing'… or did you forget that too?"

Standing up straight and fixing me with a deadly serious gaze he says

"You could always remind me"

My heart skips a beat at his suggestion and when it regains it's rhythm I find it doing the tango in my chest.

"Tommy Oliver… shy, quiet Tommy Oliver…"

I draw the words out in what I hope is my most sensual voice. I place my hands on my hips and then chew on what remains of my lip gloss, hope I'm building his anticipation and when he runs his tongue over his lips I know it's working

"…Are you coming on to me?"

"Let's just see if those lips rock my world, and then we'll find out"

'_**Oh my goodness, where did sweet, shy Tommy Oliver go and how the hell do I react to this new, confident, sexual Tommy?'**_

He's way more experienced than I am, Katherine made that crystal clear at the mall, if I keep playing this way will I find myself out of my depths? But this feels so good… so natural and it's not like I'm going to sleep with the guy, just some innocent game playing hopefully followed by some not-so-innocent kissing. I can't believe things have changed around so quickly, half an hour ago we were yelling at each other again and now… now we're on the edge of something else.

I look up at him and I'm reminded of just how much taller than me he is, if I wanted to grab him and prove a point it would be more comical than romantic, so I have to think about this, I have to get my plan just right, I have to make sure this time it's more than his hands that are shaking

"Tommy…"

His eyes are dark with something other than anger for once but this new emotion scares me even more, when he was angry I was always working to break down the walls but now it looks like the walls are finally crumbling and he's inviting me to stand in the ruins with him fear has rooted me to the spot.

He opens his mouth to speak and just the way he does it tells me that he's about to give me an easy way out and immediately his words from earlier ring in my ears… he thinks I always take the easy way out- well not this time.

Lifting my fingers to my lips I silently tell him not to say a word and his mouth closes again in obedience. Swallowing down the voice that is telling me this is stupid, this is a pathway to a world of more pain I step closer to him, the whole time our eyes burn into each other. It's well over a year since I've stood this close to him with these things on my mind, before when it was all about talk I was full of confidence and now that it's time for action I feel my insecurities rising and screaming in my ears.

Tommy has been with someone in the way I never have, his view of everything physical will have changed forever, what if I kiss him and it's not the same?

What if he realises what Katherine said was true, we loved each other in the way children do… with innocence and naivety?

What if what I offer him isn't enough anymore?

I'm seriously considering turning and running for my life and maybe he senses it because he gives me the most beautiful smile and takes my hand in his

Memories from the past rush through me and make one thing more than clear, I don't want this to be the past, I want this to be the beginning

Lacing my fingers between his I smile back at him and then reach up and run my fingers down his cheek. He is without doubt the most beautiful man I have ever seen, I don't know how I could have gone one day without looking into those eyes or hearing that voice

I feel him turn his face into my hand and I smile again at how intimate this feels, and I inwardly smirk at the fact I bet Katherine never felt this intimate with him, even with her clothes off.

Pushing away thoughts of everyone but us I reach around to the back of his head and stroke the short hair, he squeezes my hand as I drop mine slightly and let my fingers drip down his throat and across the collar bone that is peaking out from his shirt

"I can't believe how good you look in white, it's almost like I forgot"

My voice is a whisper, for fear that anything more might break this intimacy, his whispered response tells me he feared the same thing

"How come you asked me to wear green to the restaurant?"

My fingers toy with his top button as I blush at the true reason behind the request

"We were more of a couple when you were in white, but when I left and you fought with Kat as your Pink Ranger you wore white then too, I guess I felt like when you were green, you were just mine"

I wait for him to laugh at the childishness of my reply but instead he simply raises his hand and brushes some stray hairs from my cheek. The gentle gesture sends chills running down my spine and his next words almost make me melt

"_**I**_ only ever had one Pink Ranger Kim"

"Tommy I'm so sorry"

This time it's his turn to raise his finger, only he gently places it over my lips and whispers

"No more I'm sorrys, ok?"

I nod, unable to speak as his fingertips glide gently down my cheek and along my jaw bone, with one finger he gently raises my head and for a second I almost drown in his eyes, squeezing his hand I send him a message that this is okay… I want this, and he picks up on it immediately because he softly returns the squeeze before letting my hand go and then raising both of his and gently cupping my face.

The anticipation is killing me, but in a way I don't want the build up to ever end, I've never felt this close… this connected to anyone in my life and I don't ever want this feeling to end but I know what's comming is going to be the most amazing experience of my life so I close my eyes and just let things happen.

The sensation of Tommys breath on my face hits me first and I feel like if I were to die now I would be a happy girl but what happens next almost knocks me off my feet because the feel of his soft lips brushing over mine, gently at first is more magical than I ever imagined

I feel my breath catch in my throat as I unconsciously wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me whilst at the same time intensifying the kiss

This man that I built my world around and then threw away because of childish fear and insecurities has never let me down or disappointed me and this moment is no different, you can watch a million movies or read a million books and no one will ever describe in true detail the emotion of this moment.

For some things there are no words


	31. End of heartache

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing**

*Okay, so I posted an epilogue and then completely changed my mind and wrote this, it came so naturally that I just feel like it's a far more fitting ending… oh and it's emotion packed and dramatic like the rest of the story has been. I'll keep the original epilogue, if I decide to write another story it might fit in somewhere. I hope you enjoy this, I think that's all the drama from me for a while x KLOIx

**THE FINAL CHAPTER**

Lying on the sofa next to Tommy I couldn't feel more torn

Today has been one of the most emotionally exhausting days of my entire life.

My first encounter with Tanya had been little more than a reminder of the pain I was responsible for and the fact that I could still do the right thing, the problem was that after my recent confrontations with Tommy I wasn't sure I agreed with Tanya when she said the right thing to do was leave.

My second encounter was with Katherine, my former friend and it was a million times more painful and difficult. It wasn't so much what she said that convinced me that I had to go, it was the vacant look on her face, the haunted eyes that had bled tears at a situation that I was more than a little bit responsible for that had finally convinced me that all I could do to spare people more suffering was to get as far away from them as possible.

I never wanted to leave Tommy, not the first time I left for Florida, or the second time when I left after the karate competition or even today but somehow it always seems like the right thing to do, and as Tommy kisses the top of my head softly I feel a darkness drawing in. The way he holds me tighter than he ever has before tells me that he feels it too.

Squeezing his fingers which are laced between mine I swing my legs around and sit up on the edge of his couch, I feel him moving behind me as he brings himself up to sit next to me

"What's up?"

His voice is quiet, like he's asking a question that he already knows the answer to

"Today has been surreal"

"All of it or just us?"

"All of it. It feels like a dream… some parts have been more like a nightmare, but this… I couldn't have ever dreamt of this"

He smiles at me and then his eyes drop to his knees

"Are you sorry?"

I ask the question not wanting to know the answer, if he's sorry for what we've done he will destroy me in a way that I will never recover from, but pressing his lips to mine our foreheads meet as he whispers

"I will never be sorry for a second I spend with you"

I know he means it and my heart bursts with happiness whilst at the same time it is broken by the truth.

This can't last

Not now

Not yet

The way Tommy can't break physical contact tells me knows the truth as well as I do

"Kim…"

The way he says my name makes me want to kiss him just so he can't speak. I know what's coming and I can't bare it. I want to stop him from ever speaking again. I know the truth, I just can't bare to hear it from my beautiful man. I've just found him again… please God, don't do this to us again

My mouth is so dry I daren't try to talk. I just look into his eyes so he knows that I'm listening to anything he has to say to me

"I love you"

The tears I know are destined to fall for the final time today make their presence felt but I fight to hold them back for as long as possible.

Tommy wipes a stray strand of hair from my forehead and I catch his hand as it returns to his lap and raise it to my lips. The smile he gives me will be burned in my memory forever

"This last year has been the hardest of my life, so much has happened but the worst thing has been not having you with me, I've made some terrible choices, I've hurt so many people, I just wonder how different things would have been if I'd had you by my side. I know it doesn't matter now, the mistakes that have been made are made, no one can change them"

I squeeze his hand again, I know where this is going but I feel like a passenger in a car crash who can only watch it happen in slow motion, unable to stop it or change it

"…But they've changed me Kim, I know you see it, I know everyone sees it but it's only now that I can see it clearly"

He smiles again and I find myself choking back those damn tears, this is going to be hard enough, why do I have to be so weak and make it harder?

"It's funny how everything can seem so dark and pointless and then you come into my life and it's like someone has turned a light on. The only time I seem to see clearly is when you're with me"

I want to tell him that I feel the same but can't bring myself to interrupt him, I need to hear his voice… I need to remember it

"I don't know who I am anymore Kim, I've done things I don't like, I've become someone that I don't like. I don't know how to deal with myself anymore. I don't know how to deal with the choices I've made, there's so much that I don't know how to fix"

He reaches up and strokes my face, as if on cue a solitary tear falls

"I don't want to lose you again"

I don't mean to say it but my heart wont allow me to keep it in any longer

He brushes my tear away with his thumb and then gently kisses the spot where it fell

"You will never lose me Kimberly"

So why do I feel like I already have?

"I need some time, to make up for some mistakes, mend some bridges, find myself. I have to find myself and my family again, I need you to understand"

My breath is stuck in my throat, the moment I've been dreading is hurtling towards me and all I can think is no, I haven't had enough time, I haven't touched him enough or smelt him enough I won't remember this, not well enough, I don't have enough memories to last me for the rest of my life.

I want to beg him not to do this, I want to beg him to stay with me. I need to convince him that this can be okay, we can do this, all of the rebuilding he needs to do, I can help him… but I stay silent, some where deep inside I know that this has to happen

"I have to fix my life, I have to make it a safe place for us to be… please understand"

I reach up and run my fingers down his cheek, I pull them along his jaw bone and then over his lips, he closes his eyes as my fingers trace the lines of his face, I'm attempting to memorise every part of him. Running a finger down his throat I feel him tremble beneath my touch and I slide my hand around the back of his neck and pull him close to me, my lips brush over his gently once, then twice, I rub my nose against his, my body earns for contact, and my lips miss his already as I again press mine to his and find his appetite growing, 30 seconds later I pull away and we sit with our foreheads resting together

"Tommy, I thought I had broken us"

The sniff is unmistakable and I again raise my hand to his face

"I thought you could never forgive me and I've never felt so small or scared in my entire life, I've never felt so lonely or lost as I felt without you, and now here we are. I know the timing isn't good I know that you have things that you need to do but I thought I'd lost you forever, I thought I would never get a second chance but if you're telling me that I have that chance then I will wait for as long as it takes for you to be ready to try this again"

"I just need time"

"It doesn't matter how long Tommy, as long as you promise that when you are ready you will come for me"

"I don't want it to be this way, but if we try build this on foundations as weak as mine are right now it will never last. I can't risk that this isn't forever Kim. When I have you again, it has to be forever"

My tears are falling and I don't try to stop them

"I'm yours forever" I promise him

He lifts my chin slightly and kisses me, this time it's rougher than before but no less sweet and I feel the dampness of his eyes as his skin brushes against me

"I'll go back to Florida tomorrow but I will wait for you forever"

"I need to heal myself and my parents… I need to know my brother, I need to know myself and then I will be on that plane"

"Promise me"

"I promise"

"Swear it"

"I swear"

"I love you so much"

" I love you more than you will ever know"

"I can't bare this, I don't know how to live without you, Tommy, I'm so scared"

This time the kiss is more frantic, his fingers are tangled in my hair and I find myself pulling at the buttons of his shirt

"This isn't forever"

He says it like he means it

"This isn't forever"

He says it between kisses and I believe it more than I've believed anything in my life.

He needs time to rebuild himself and his life, he needs to make it strong… for us. Tomorrow I will leave and I will wait for him eternally, I know he will come for me because he has told me he will and Tommy has never lied to me or let me down.

Tomorrow we won't say good bye, we'll say 'see you later' and as my fingers find the final button of his shirt I know one thing with certainty, right now, we might only have tonight but one day- we will have forever

**THE END**

_**So that's the end, I can't believe how quickly it has come around. I have really, really enjoyed writing this and although I'm sure there will be bits I want to re-write in the future I think it's turned out ok for my first fan fic (although I may be a little impartial)**_

_**I want to say a MASSIVE thank you to everyone who followed the story, I can't believe how many people reviewed and stuck with it right up until the end. It was a bit of a rollercoaster and at times even I didn't know when it was going to end and although there were loads more things I wanted to explore (Reactions*, and logistics etc..) I just thought that it was right to end it before it became repetitive and drawn out.**_

_**If I decide to write another story you can guarantee that the old love triangle will be involved somewhere along the line (I just love the possibilities as well as the drama!)**_


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